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Chapter 14

“I cannae believe there’s still spirits left.” Colin picked up the bottle of bourbon from the kitchen worktop and eyed its contents. “Our mates must be getting old.” He’d expected his fellow Warriors to be in a wilder mood after their hard-fought sixth-round cup win today.

“For a twenty-first birthday party, it was tragically civilized.” Andrew smiled at him from the dining area. “I loved it.”

“Good.” Despite Andrew’s request for a small gathering of close friends—rather than his usual blowout birthday bash—Colin had worried he would be underwhelmed at the result. “Now gonnae stop tidying up or I’ll see you never live to be twenty-two.”

Andrew set the dirty glasses on the table, then held up his hands in surrender. “You know I’m happy being waited on.”

“I’ve noticed once or twice.” He went to fetch the glasses. “Just don’t call me Dermot.”

Andrew lifted his chin. “My family’s butler is an honorable man. You could be compared to worse.”

Colin threw him a warning glare as he moved away, but by the time he reached the sink, he was smiling too. It was good to get back to their old banter. The last few weeks had been an awkward dance, as they fumbled forward with a new understanding of each other.

In a way, it was fortunate Andrew’s second panic attack had occurred in a public place. After Covent Garden, there was no more suffering in silence. Andrew had to own his trauma and speak about its treatment. Otherwise he might seem ashamed of who he was—something his pride would never permit.

True to Colin’s prediction, Andrew had inspired many of his followers. The tears on his cheeks made it obvious when he was reading another email or post containing a tale of struggle and survival. Colin had offered to screen the messages, but Andrew had refused, saying they encouraged him to keep fighting. “And besides,” he’d said, “No one— no one —touches my phone.”

Andrew picked up the device in question from the worktop. “Ah, our dear Evan decided to grace us with a message.” He held the phone up to show Colin:

Evan

Happy two-hour-belated birthday! Apologies again for not being there.

“Wonder how his ‘architectural emergency’ went,” Andrew said with a note of sarcasm Colin didn’t understand. Evan had phoned yesterday to say he had to work tonight. The cancellation was hardly surprising, considering Fergus and John were coming. Who in their right mind would want to hang out with their ex-boyfriend and his new husband at a small party like this?

Colin had been relieved and grateful when Andrew told him he’d spoken to Evan about his difficulties. He’d no idea what his teammate’s trauma was—and frankly, it was none of his business—but imagined it had to do with the Belgian lover Evan had run off with last year.

As Colin lifted one of the dining chairs to put it back in place, he felt a twinge atop his left hip. “Ow.”

“Are you all right?”

“Just a wee bit tight from the match.” He pulled his left foot up behind him to stretch his quad. This was a welcome pain, the sort that came from playing hard and leaving nothing on the pitch.

“Still, you could do with a massage.” Andrew moved toward him, holding out a hand. “We’ll finish tidying up in the morning.”

Colin knew by the look on his boyfriend’s face there was no point in arguing.

In their room, Andrew had Colin strip naked and lie face down on the bed.

“It’s your birthday,” Colin said as he eased himself onto the mattress. “I should be doing this for you.”

“Don’t worry, there’ll be other things you can do for me.”

Andrew changed into a T-shirt and yoga pants, fetched the massage oil, then went to the bed and climbed atop Colin’s thighs. He began with long, broad strokes, courteously avoiding the scattered cuts and bruises acquired in today’s match.

Though the weather had been crap, and though Colin had “merely” provided assists for Duncan’s and Shona’s goals rather than scoring himself, he’d once again been happy just to wear the shirt of his beloved team. All thoughts of returning to his old league were now dead and buried. He was a Warrior through and through.

“So we’re a week into February,” Colin said, struggling to get words out between the groans of pain and ecstasy Andrew’s massage was provoking. “You said I could start paying you rent this month.”

Andrew paused. “About that.”

Colin tensed. Did Andrew want him to remain a charity case? “You’ve changed your mind?”

“Not exactly. But I’ve been thinking…”

“Thinking what ?” Colin turned over, nearly throwing Andrew off him.

“Outside the box.” He shifted so Colin could sit up. “If we stay here, you either pay rent—which makes you my tenant—or you don’t pay rent, which makes you my guest. Either way, we’re not on equal footing.”

“Aye.” Finally he gets it.

Andrew crossed his legs beneath himself, looking nervous. “What if we rent another flat together, a place that’d be ours , not mine?”

Colin stared at him for a long moment, wondering if he’d heard right. “So we’d both sign the lease, and I could pay some of our rent?”

“Precisely. Not fifty percent, of course, as you couldn’t afford half of any place that would satisfy me. But we can come to an arrangement that suits both your pride and my need for wardrobe space.”

Colin grinned at him. “I love when you get all prissy to cover up your vulnerability.”

“Does it work?”

“Not anymore, but it’s cute you still try.” Head swimming with giddiness, Colin leaned over and kissed Andrew. “So when do we go flat shopping?”

“We can start online right now.” He brushed his lips over Colin’s neck. “Or maybe tomorrow,” he murmured, pulling Colin down onto the bed with him.

As they kissed, Andrew caressed him with hands still smooth from the massage oil. Then he whispered, “I want to make love.”

Colin moved back a few inches to examine his face. “You sure you’re ready?”

“Positive.” His fingertips trailed along the planes of Colin’s pecs. “Let’s do it.”

“Okay, but we’ll go slow. And you better not yell at me if I check in with you at every step.”

“I can’t promise patience.” Andrew pulled Colin’s hand forward, bringing his palm against his chest. “Touch me.”

* * *

This will be worth the wait , Andrew thought as Colin’s hands began to bring his body to life. He closed his eyes to savor the dance of fingertips along his collarbone and over the curve of his shoulder. Even through his T-shirt, he could sense each light, life-giving stroke.

When he felt a thumb circling his right nipple, Andrew squirmed with suspense. He reached up to grasp Colin’s hair, guiding his head down. “I need your mouth.”

Drawing Andrew’s shirt taut, Colin began to suckle him through the thin layer of cotton. Bolts of pleasure shot up and down Andrew’s spine. He arched his back and drew his leg up over Colin’s hip.

Soon he couldn’t stand not feeling bare skin against his. “Take my top off.” When it was gone, he moved closer still, sliding his hand down Colin’s back and over his arse.

Colin reciprocated, but more slowly. “Is this okay?” he whispered as his palm folded around Andrew’s bum.

After a brief pause to check in with himself, Andrew nodded. “It’s good.”

Their kisses grew longer and deeper. With his other hand Colin stroked Andrew’s hair, as if to calm any rising panic. But Andrew felt not a bit trapped or threatened, only free and safe.

And horny. Really, really horny.

He angled his hips to hint where he wanted Colin’s hand. When Colin hesitated, Andrew said, “Touch my cock. Please.”

“Well…since you said ‘please.’” Colin tentatively stroked him through the front of his yoga trousers. “Tell me if it feels wrong.”

“No, it feels—” Andrew gasped as streams of pleasure flowed out to the rest of his body. “It feels very right.”

Colin traced Andrew’s upper lip with his tongue. “Would it feel more right in my mouth?”

Andrew thought his spine would melt. “Yes.”

He felt a tug on the tie of his trousers. The knot released with a slowness that made him ache.

Then Colin rolled onto his back and propped his head up with a pillow. “’Mon, then.”

With a sigh of anticipation, Andrew moved to straddle Colin’s chest. He pulled his cock free of his trousers, then eased it between those open, waiting lips.

Colin tilted up his chin, giving his tongue room to maneuver. Its tip dragged down the center line of Andrew’s shaft, lighting him up like a burning trail of gunpowder.

“Oh…” Andrew grasped the padded headboard and clutched Colin with his knees. “You’re so good to me.”

As if to prove the point, Colin took him deep, shaking his head to slide Andrew’s cock against his throat. Then he pulled back and used his tongue again, keeping hold with his mouth as he licked. Andrew couldn’t help thrusting forward—but slowly, so as not to interfere with Colin’s delicious technique.

Colin drew back, his lips shiny wet and ruddy. “Would this feel even more right in my arse?”

Andrew stared down at him. The first and last time he’d topped Colin—or anyone , for that matter—was mere hours before The Incident. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Nae worries. I’m all sorted inside.” He wrapped his hand around Andrew’s cock. “The only thing missing is this.”

Andrew shuddered with lust, then murmured in the affirmative, having temporarily lost his words. He opened the cupboard above the bed to retrieve the condoms and lube. Then he moved back, surveying his boyfriend’s naked form. Finally he bent forward and took Colin in his mouth, engulfing every stiff, straining inch.

“Och!” Colin’s thighs flexed beneath Andrew’s palms. “Fuck…” The rest of his words blended into a tremulous groan.

As he sucked with long, wet strokes, Andrew slicked up his fingers with the lube. He traced a fingertip between Colin’s cheeks, teasing until Colin whimpered with eagerness. Then he pressed forward.

“God, yes.” Colin tilted his arse to urge Andrew’s finger deeper. “I cannae wait to feel you in me again.”

As he carefully explored every inch he could reach, Andrew recalled how it had felt to move within this magnificent body on that fateful September day. At first he’d needed Colin’s guidance to find the right angle and pressure to avoid awkward, painful jabs. Then there’d been the challenge of maintaining a steady rhythm while holding off orgasm—an orgasm that was fantastic, but frankly not as otherworldly as when he bottomed.

It had all been worth it, though, to experience Colin in that new way, to watch him lose control, his wild aggression replaced by an even wilder surrender.

And he had a grand idea how to make this a night they would never forget.

Colin let out the loudest groan yet. “Fuck, I am so ready for you.” He reached for the condom box. “How do you want me?”

“Just like this.” Andrew inched forward on his knees into position. “So I can see you and hold you. Is that all right?”

“It’s great.” Licking his lips, Colin sheathed Andrew with the silky condom. “I cannae wait to do this in our new place.”

“We’ll need a flat as soundproof as this one,” Andrew said as he applied the lube, “else our neighbors will be driven to banging on the walls to tell us to keep it down.”

“We’ll just bang back and tell them it’s impossible.” Colin reclined again, thighs splayed, hands behind his knees and his face full of trust.

With the utmost care, Andrew entered him, just a bit. The hot, slick yielding was as much a shock tonight as it was the first time. “God…”

Colin’s mouth curved into a dazed smile. He drew in a long, slow breath, and as he let it out, he expanded down below. Andrew felt his cock head slide within, its sensitive ridge gripped tight. He clutched Colin’s thighs, flailing for self-control.

“It’s okay.” Colin rested his feet on Andrew’s shoulders. “We could both do with going slow.”

“Right. Slow.” Spreading his own knees to keep his balance, Andrew reached out to caress the solid, sloping contours of Colin’s torso. He feathered his touch past a fresh maroon bruise, then down over the surgical scars.

Thank you, he told the marks silently. Thank you for keeping this man with me.

Colin looked at Andrew’s hands and gave a crooked smile, as if reading his thoughts. Then he slowly rocked his hips, enveloping a bit more of him with each movement. “I’ve got you,” he whispered. “Do you feel that?”

“I feel it.” Andrew gazed down at him, letting those pale-green eyes hold him fast.

“I’ll always have you. As long as you want me.”

“I’ll always want you.” He lowered Colin’s legs to the bed, then leaned forward and pressed his cheek to Colin’s chest so he could hear his pounding heart. “I’ll always need you.”

* * *

Colin tried to hold Andrew tightly enough to support him, but not enough to trap him. It was hard to keep his arms from clinging, though, what with the delirium rising in the rest of his body.

“Is this good?” Andrew whispered, pushing deeper inside, filling him with warm, liquid pleasure.

“It’s perfect.” Colin felt guilty—he was meant to be checking Andrew’s status, not the other way around. “How are you?”

“Splendid.” Andrew eased back, his eyes losing focus. “My God…you’re so…oh.” His lashes flickered. “I’m not used to this.”

Colin set his hands upon Andrew’s smooth, slim waist. “It’s okay if you come.”

“Not yet.” He moved forward again, this time burying his face in Colin’s neck. Colin held him close, savoring every undulation of Andrew’s body. A few bruises ached from the pressure atop him, but he didn’t care. It was a small price to pay for getting fucked so sweetly.

Soon he needed more. Spreading his thighs wider, he reached down and grasped Andrew’s arse. “I want all of you now. Every bit of?—”

His breath cut off as Andrew filled him to the hilt.

“Like that?” Andrew asked.

Colin shuddered, speechless, his senses utterly flooded.

“Or like this?” Without pulling back, Andrew began to roll his hips in long, luscious spirals, each one bringing him deeper than Colin thought possible.

“Aye,” he managed to say. Between the fullness inside him and the friction of Andrew’s belly against his cock, Colin was beginning to lose his mind. Please don’t ever let this end.

When Andrew paused, Colin couldn’t hold back a noise of dismay.

“Sorry, getting too close.” After a moment, Andrew added, “Let me try something.”

“Different position?”

“Not exactly. Stay there.” Andrew bent his head to kiss Colin’s chest, where his lips soon found Colin’s left nipple. Colin groaned with pleasure—pleasure that turned to amazement as Andrew’s mouth traveled lower, then lower still, even as the tip of his cock remained inside him. He reached beneath Colin’s lower back and lifted him.

Christ, I knew he was strong and flexible, but this is ? —

Andrew’s tongue extended to lick the head of Colin’s cock.

“What—” Colin stared down in disbelief that only one man was doing all this to him at once.

Andrew looked up. “A bit of help here?”

“Right. Sorry.” Colin grasped the base of his shaft to stabilize it, then guided the tip between Andrew’s lips. “Och…how…”

It seemed impossible, but there Andrew was, sucking and fucking him simultaneously, his own body bent in half like it was nothing, his hips giving short, steady strokes, gliding him just over the inner edge of Colin’s hole.

Colin’s hand spasmed in reflex, tightening his grip on himself. All at once he was lost, his orgasm rushing toward him with unstoppable force. He gave a strangled cry, his body convulsing, yet still Andrew continued, the flick of his tongue and the slide of his cock sending Colin higher and higher.

With his other hand Colin clutched at the sheet beneath him but couldn’t grasp the taut material. For a moment he thought his brains might blow out of his ears, and he considered asking Andrew to stop.

But it was too late. Colin released a long, high wail as he came, grasping at thin air. Every cell in his body seemed to shatter, mend itself, then shatter again with even more force.

Andrew’s mouth stilled on Colin’s cock, bathing it in its own hot, swirling come. Then he unfolded his body, swallowed hard, and gave one final thrust, so, so deep. His gaze widened as it met Colin’s. “Oh…yes, I’m…”

I know. Give it to me. With the little strength he had left, Colin clenched him tight, the better to feel each throb and pulse inside him. Andrew’s eyes glazed over, and he emitted a deep groan mingling with a laugh of amazement.

At last he withdrew, face radiant with sweat and ecstasy. “Wow.”

Colin couldn’t even echo this understatement. His lungs were still spasming with the rest of his body as the aftershocks continued, fading with each tremor.

Andrew rolled out of bed to dispose of the condom. When he returned, he restored order to the rumpled sheets, then drew them up over their bodies as he lay down. “All right?”

Colin stared at him, his vision out of focus. “How did you—how is that even—what?”

Andrew gave an uncharacteristically modest smile. “Wasn’t sure I could manage that. Though I’ve done it to myself, with your assistance.”

“I remember.” More than once he’d folded Andrew in half and fucked him senseless while Andrew sucked his own cock. The sight alone would make Colin come in an instant. But this…this was ten times as mind-boggling. “You been training for such miracles up in your yoga studio?”

“Not specifically.” He winced a bit as he stretched his legs beneath the covers. “But yes, I’ve been working on my lower back flexibility, among other things.”

“‘Other things’? I cannae wait.” Colin held up a hand. “Actually, gie’s a wee while to recover from this magic first.” He adjusted his pillow, which as usual had got squished into a lump while they’d fucked. “I wish we’d recorded that, cos tomorrow I’ll never believe it happened.”

Andrew gave a throaty chuckle. “We can cure your skepticism by trying this again some time.”

The thought made Colin’s eyes cross. He stared up at the ceiling, which was still a bit spinny. “I should definitely do more yoga. Gotta keep up with you.”

“You’ve plenty of your own talents.” Andrew shifted over to lay his head on Colin’s shoulder. “Don’t be stealing mine.”

Colin put his arm around Andrew, his fingers still tingling. “So we’re actually doing this. Moving in together, for real and all.”

“For real and all. Unless you don’t want to.”

“I do. I’m just not used to getting anything I want, much less everything . I’m still trying to work out what I did to deserve you.”

“Something dreadful, I imagine.”

Colin turned his head to breathe in the scent of Andrew’s hair. “Aye,” he whispered, closing his eyes. “Pure dreadful.”

* * *

Andrew could have easily tumbled into slumber then and there, lying in Colin’s arms and reliving the hotness of what they’d just done. But he knew if they waited until morning to start searching for a flat, Colin would wake wondering if Andrew had changed his mind.

Besides, he was absolutely dying for another piece of birthday cake.

“Be right back.” He kissed Colin’s chin, then dragged himself from the warm bed. The night had turned cold again, so he hurried to pull on a pair of thick pajama trousers and a long-sleeved T-shirt. “I’ll raise the heating and bring us tea.”

Colin made a drowsy but affirmative noise.

As he waited for the water to boil, Andrew slowly strolled over the polished parquet floors of his reception room. His heart ached at the thought of leaving this flat, the first place he’d made completely his own. Perhaps one day he and Colin would return, when memories of their suffering had faded, when they could see it as something other than a sanctuary.

What they needed now was a home.

When the tea was ready, he carried it and two slices of cake on a tray to their room, where he found Colin sitting up in bed, huddled beneath the covers he’d pulled to his chin.

“Cake! You read my mind.”

“I read my own mind. Luckily we think alike about such important matters.” Andrew set the tray atop the duvet, retrieved his laptop from a drawer, then climbed onto the bed.

As they tucked into the birthday cake, Colin asked, “What will you do with this flat after we leave?”

“I’ll find a tenant, ideally someone who understands saltwater aquariums. It’s best not to move fish if one can help it.”

“Won’t you miss your wee wet friends?”

“I will.” Andrew took a sip of tea, thinking about his fish. He’d named them, talked to them, wept over their deaths. “But it might be good for me, just for a short time, to have no one to fret over besides myself. And you, obviously.” He held up his mug, which featured a parade of Scottish terriers wearing red scarves. “Or perhaps we’ll get a puppy.”

Colin laughed. “Aye, right. And who’ll look after it?”

“Me, of course. I need something to do during my sabbatical besides discover delicious, nutritious cures for unhappiness.” He rolled his eyes to show he was joking—though he wasn’t, not completely. “But you’re right, a dog’s a big commitment. Might be a bit much for me just now.”

“Let’s keep an open mind. We’ll get a flat which allows pets, then see how you feel.” He brightened. “Maybe we could start with a foster pup.”

“Ah, you’re an absolute genius.” Andrew slid under the covers, shivering at the wave of heat from Colin’s body, then pulled the laptop to rest on their adjacent thighs.

Colin slipped an arm around Andrew’s shoulders. “You warm enough?”

Andrew considered the question, taking a moment to feel the blood humming through his veins. It flowed out to his fingers and toes, down to his bones and back again, bringing life to every inch. “I am.” He gave Colin a determined kiss, then opened his laptop. “Shall we begin?”