Page 24 of Memory of Murder (Colby Agency: The Next Generation #3)

Journal Entry

Thirty Years Ago

This was the worst that could have happened.

No, not the worst. But close. The position Neil had wanted so badly was stolen by a friend. He was devastated, and I was devastated for him.

The so-called friend who stole it was a year ahead of Neil. He had graduated in May. Not at the top of his class either as Neil was set to do. No, he was mediocre at best. So far he’d taken his bar exam multiple times without passing it.

He was no Neil, and the company had made a huge mistake choosing the other man over Neil.

I wanted to scream then, still do now whenever I think about it.

No matter that I preferred he didn’t go with that company, it was unfair.

At the time Eve was still avoiding me, which was just as well.

I wanted nothing to do with her or her lowlife fiancé.

Carin hadn’t returned. I wondered if she did come back whether she would take Eve’s side in all that had happened.

At that point I didn’t trust anyone to be who they claimed to be.

How could Neil and I have been friends with those two for so long and not have seen the duplicity they were capable of?

I knew then that I would never forgive them. Never.

I wish I could have told Neil about the other, but I feared there would be terrible repercussions.

The worry there would be physical violence if he ever learned what had happened was a true concern.

Although Neil and I didn’t have a gun in the house, I felt as if he would get one if he learned that awful truth.

I could never tell him. It was better if he didn’t know.

We just had to move on with our lives and not look back.

The law firm in Crystal Lake had been pushing hard to have Neil come on board when he graduated.

It was a reputable, long-standing firm. The offer was a generous one.

There was no reason not to take it. The potential for the big leagues wasn’t as great, but it would work.

As long as we had each other, what else really mattered?

I was certain I would feel much better when all of that was behind us.

I had a terrible feeling about it. I recognized that we couldn’t trust the people we thought were our friends.

And I also understood that they would never want the things I knew to be revealed.

Everyone had their secrets. Some more than others, and the knowledge of those secrets made me very nervous.

I made the decision to focus on the future and pretend I didn’t know what those evil so-called friends were capable of.

School was about to start back, so that would occupy much of my time.

I had you to get ready for the baby and the wedding.

Neil had finally agreed to something far more low-key.

I was glad because I just wanted to be happy and settled and not draw a lot of attention to ourselves.

It sounds strange, I know, but I thought I needed to stay very small so they would ignore me and the things I knew.

I read once that the universe gives back to you what you put out to it. With that in mind, I focused on being extra kind to all. I thought good thoughts most of the time. I had hoped that attitude would get me through until we were safe again.

Apparently I was wrong to assume the threat to us would just go away.

I wish I didn’t have to be so cryptic as I write this. I would very much like to spell out all that I know for sure. That would make finding the rest much easier. But I don’t dare. I’m in prison, so nothing—not even my body—is private and certainly not safe.

I have to be careful…and should you ever take up this challenge to find the truth, you should be very careful too.