Page 10 of Meet You Half Way (South Coast #2)

Jamie

S o that had not really worked. I had just dropped Mateo back off where he’d left his car in Ives Inlet and had watched him drive away back to work. What was I doing with this guy? And why couldn’t I just let him go?

This was not me. I did not do casual hookups, especially with emotionally unavailable guys, but I think I might have been becoming addicted to Mateo. To that incredible body that had looked so glorious spread out on my bed, olive skin and ashy blonde hair for days as I had ploughed him. Twice. I wasn’t sure how I’d managed to recover so fast for a second round but that was all down to Mateo too.

He was intoxicating. An addiction.

The one guy who I feared had the power to bring me to my knees.

However, I was no longer wallowing in self-pity about yesterday so maybe it had worked. That was why I’d texted him in the first place, right? To get out of my head for a bit. And Mateo sure was good at doing that. He was such a complex guy, a mixture of outward perfection and inward self-loathing, a guy who didn’t care how his body was treated by others but who was still hooked on the only man who had probably ever treated him right.

Maybe that was Nick’s allure for him, the fact he’d actually cared about Mateo. Not just his body but his heart and mind too.

I was making big assumptions there. I didn’t know a thing about Mateo’s relationship with Nick but I had met the guy and he seemed like a really decent human being. So maybe that’s what it was.

In which case, what did I do about that? Could I transfer Mateo’s affections my way with kindness and care? And did I even want them? Life with Mateo would not be easy. It took a lot of prodding and poking to get him to come out and play but it always seemed worth it when he did. He was also hiding so deep in the closet I could hardly see him for all the fear and internalised hangups and I really wasn’t sure if I wanted to get myself tangled up with that.

Was he worth it? Rob had told me so while also gently warning me it wouldn’t be an easy path. But the more I thought about Mateo, whose last name I still did not know, not just those outward looks that would bring any mortal to their knees, but his quirky sense of humour, the way he actually seemed to care when I’d told him about my day, about the fact that he maybe even wanted to be chased, wanted someone to care enough to fight for him.

Well, then, maybe he would be worth it after all.

Bill invited me around to his place for dinner later that day. By the time I rocked up just before six I was grateful for it. He was the only one who truly knew what it was like to be in my shoes. He had been there in the back of the ambulance with me yesterday when we’d fought to revive the guy on the bed and he knew how we both were feeling.

“Jamie, how are you?” Kelly asked as I stepped into their home. Bill lived inland from the coast on a little property with his beautiful wife, Kelly, their two adorable but exuberant kids and a crazy Golden Retriever named Bella. Their house was always mildly chaotic and therefore, one of the best places to be if you needed to escape your head for a bit.

“Bill’s out on the back verandah grilling steaks,” Kelly continued after I’d returned her hug.

“Jam!” came the war cry that actually sounded more like Yam before I was nearly bowled over by cyclone Cooper as his little two-year-old legs powered down the hallway at me.

“How’s my little mate, Coopy!” I enthused back, picking up the squealing toddler and tossing him over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His peals of laughter followed me all the way through the house to where Bill was indeed standing on the back verandah grilling steaks. “I found this little cyclone in your house, Bill. I thought he should be outside with the dogs where he belongs.”

I whizzed Cooper to the ground, twisting him around a couple of times until I set him on his wobbly feet. He instantly ran off to play with Bella while Bill watched him with a smile on his face.

“You look like you’re in a good mood,” Bill commented as he passed me a beer from the outside fridge.

“Do I?”

“Yeah. You do,” he said pointedly, staring at me long enough to have me shuffling on my feet. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with your young Italian?”

“His name’s Mateo,” I huffed a little dramatically. “And maybe.”

“Really? Do tell.”

“Tell what?” Kelly asked as she breezed by on her way to corral Cooper away from the mud.

“Jamie’s got himself a new man,” Bill answered, a sly grin on his face.

“Ooh, is this the Italian boy?” Kelly asked, face alight with glee. “The one who looks like a supermodel?”

“Firstly, he is not my man,” I huffed again. “I just happen to have met up with him a couple of times.”

“ Met up ,” Bill chuckled under his breath. “Is that what you kids are calling it these days.”

“No need to be crass,” I returned. “There are toddlers present.”

“So when you say met up ,” Kelly asked, finally corralling Cooper away from the mud patch, “do you mean like going on dates?”

“Um,” I began while Bill cracked up laughing.

“Oh Kel,” he said. “We’ve been married way too long.”

“We did actually meet up for coffee this morning,” I added, not wanting them to think it was entirely sordid between me and Mateo. Only just mostly sordid.

“Really?” Bill asked.

“That’s what I meant,” Kelly added with an eyeroll. “I just didn’t think Jamie was into the whole hookup culture.”

“I’m really not,” I said, more to myself than my friends.

“But you can’t say no to Mateo for some reason,” Bill pressed, grinning when I just shrugged.

“Is he good to you?” Kelly asked, always the sober minded one out of the three of us. “Just because he’s good looking doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to treat you right.”

I sighed and laughed softly. “He’s … complicated. And it doesn’t really matter anyway because it’s not serious and he’s definitely not looking for a relationship. With me at least.”

“Okay,” Kelly said, that worried look back in her eye. “Just don’t get in too deep with him then. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I know what you’re like and you never love half way.”

“I know,” I sighed, knowing she was right. I always gave too much of myself and was usually left to pick up the pieces at the end.

“I worry about you is all,” she replied, squeezing my arm. “You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met and I want somebody for you who is going to treat you the way you deserve.”

“Thanks, Kel,” I replied, offering her a smile. “But there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Just promise me the sex is good because I reckon I was half a second away from turning gay for that man of yours myself,” Bill added in a muttered voice as Kelly went back into the house.

I laughed and clinked my beer with his. “I can promise you the sex is out of this world.”

And that was the solid truth. The only truth I really had to hold onto right then and these crazy thoughts and possible feelings I had going through me towards the boy I simply could not get out of my head.