Page 19 of Meet Me in the Valley (Oakwood Valley #2)

Chapter Twelve

TIA

We’ve made this drive before. Usually, the car is anything but quiet—filled with our voices, our laughter echoing from stories we’ve told a dozen times. It always ends the same. A casual goodbye, a chaste hug. Sometimes no hug at all. A “Text me when you land.” A “See you soon.”

But now, as I stare out the passenger window, watching plane after plane slice through the sky, Logan takes the final turn toward the airport. And then a foreign, awful ache settles in my chest.

How can you already miss someone who hasn’t even left yet when they’re right next to you?

Logan pulls up to the departure curb and places the car in park. We sit in a brief, comfortable silence before turning to each other with a sad smile.

It hits me that this will be the longest we’ve been apart since college.

So much of my life over the last decade has been interwoven with Logan’s.

Crazy the realizations you get when you fall for someone.

A veil lifts, revealing every little thing you were blind to before. I feel too exposed—too naked.

My palms get clammy, and I rub them against my leggings. Without a word, we both make a move to open our doors, meeting at the trunk of the SUV.

I don’t know if it’s the tidal wave of gratitude crashing over me or something deeper finally breaking free, but before I can stop myself, I launch into his arms. He catches me effortlessly, lifting me off the ground as I bury my face into the warm curve of his neck, giving myself permission to melt into him.

Something in that moment binds us in a brand new way, a tether so unique to us, it can’t be duplicated. It’s that bone-shaking, heart-stopping, life-altering kind of feeling I’ve secretly longed for.

I just never imagined that longing would point me straight to my best friend.

But with the thrill comes fear.

Fear of losing Logan.

Fear of falling too fast, too hard, for a guy who’s never seen a past one-night with a woman.

Fear I won’t be enough for him.

But when his arms tighten around my waist with my feet dangling in the air, it’s almost enough for that fear to dissipate.

His hold grounds me in a way I need it to.

Logan’s been doing a lot of that lately.

Grounding me when my body wants to float off the ground to escape, to avoid, to not face reality.

I link my fingers behind his neck, and slowly, he lowers me.

It feels like a lifetime before my feet hit the concrete.

I hold his gaze steady, hungry, in mine.

Our foreheads touch as his gaze sears into me, soft but certain—an unspoken promise neither of us needs to say aloud.

It needs to stay that way. We leave whatever the hell this is silent, safe in this bubble I’m desperate to keep from popping.

I hold my breath, in equal parts anticipation and hesitation.

Time drips to a stop. The collective roar of planes, cars, and faceless strangers fade into the background.

All I see is Logan. All I feel are his hands, trembling against the small of my back. All I want is to close the gap.

Our noses brush as I whisper, “You’re going to miss your flight.” My fingers lazily brush through the hair at the base of his neck, unable to stop touching him even when my mind screams to let this go and stop.

But I can’t just yet. Not yet.

“Fine. I’ll miss it then,” he whispers back, clenching his jaw at the same time as his fingers dig into my hips. A jolt of warmth shoots through my center at the painful gravel in his voice, melting into a faint sigh that escapes my lips—despite my best intentions.

I’m losing my grip here. All the new feelings I’ve developed for him thrash inside me like a Category 5 hurricane.

I can’t tame the winds. I can’t calm the waters.

It’s muddying my vision, clouding my judgement.

I place my hands on his chest, pulling myself off of his forehead to fucking breathe.

My heart beats wildly—a thump thump thump that’s rapid and out of control.

“Go, Lo.”

“Tell me to stay.” He gently holds my wrists that splay across his chest.

Stay.

“No.”

“Tia …” he nearly begs, and I shake my head, taking a step back from him.

“I’ll be okay, Logan. I promise,” I say more to myself than to him. He holds me captive for a few moments, then finally turns to open the trunk to grab his suitcase as I chew on my thumbnail—trying to process what the hell is going on between us.

Thank God I’ll be with Audrey for the next few days before I leave for Vegas, so I can have someone to break this down with. I’m losing my damn mind.

Slamming the trunk closed, Logan’s face fills with a strong determination. Just when I thought I’d be safe from the longing in his eyes, he proves me wrong.

“Are we going to talk about what you said last night?”

I stiffen, rolling my bottom lip against my teeth. No matter how hard I try to school my features, Logan reads me like a book, sensing my unease.

“I’m not getting on that plane until we talk about it,” Logan tacks on.

We’re not ready for this conversation.

“W-what did I say?”

He slightly winces at my reply, scratching behind his neck as if he’s suddenly developed hives. He looks nervous, a little hurt. It’s putting me on edge. His eyes flash with a hint of frustration, narrowing at me.

“You need me to spell it out for you? Because I will,” he murmurs, bringing his sinful hands around my face, rolling his forehead against mine.

Please don’t.

I squeeze my eyes shut. My temples throb with his closeness and from the debaucherous aftermath of last night. I was six sheets to the wind and higher than Ben Franklin’s kite. Bits and pieces of Logan and I in the vineyard flicker behind my eyes.

The smell of sweat on his skin. The dirt against my back. The way the smoke tasted leaving his lips as he exhaled into my mouth.

“You look like you love me, T.”

“I do.”

The weight behind those two words I uttered last night hits me hard and fast. My heart seizes up and lurches into my throat, making it hard to swallow. I’m nowhere ready to face the music. Every part of me screams, “How could you have been so careless?”

I couldn’t help that my body was literally floating among the stars, causing me to be loose-lipped and reckless.

I fell victim to Logan’s charm. I got sucked into his orbit the very same way every woman before me has. Risking our friendship over my infatuation for him will only get me hurt in the end.

Because if it’s one thing I know for sure: falling in love with Logan Harper is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.

My thoughts spin as his forehead rests against mine, and his fingers graze my cheeks with a tenderness that’s both comforting and confusing.

It’s too much and not enough all at once.

I open my mouth to speak, but the words catch in my throat.

I try to wet my lips, but my tongue won’t move.

And I don’t dare open my eyes—because if I do, I’ll fall headfirst into the gaze that’s already unraveling me.

“You love me,” he says, not as a question, but as a fact.

Fuck.

He’s pushing me—no, forcing me—outside the protective bubble I’ve wrapped around us. But that’s all it ever was. A bubble. One exhale away from bursting.

“I do,” I admit, and the second the words leave my mouth, his lips curve into that heart-shattering grin. The one that’s quickly becoming the bane of my existence.

“But not like that, Logan.”

I watch the shift in real time. The way his mouth falters, how his whole expression slowly folds inward. Like I just pulled the ground out from under him. The spark behind his eyes dims, and I want to reach for it, stuff it back in, and pretend I didn’t kill it.

The lie tastes vile on my tongue, like something spoiled, and I almost gag on it.

But it’s the safer path. The only path that won’t destroy everything we’ve built.

I need Logan. I need him to be my constant. I allowed the line to blur last night in our inebriation, but my sober mind knows better now.

“We were both off our asses last night. I was vulnerable, you know? Everything going on with my mom, and?—”

His hands fall away from my face. I reach out, instinctively. And somehow, he doesn’t move. He still lets me touch him.

“You’re my best friend, Lo,” I manage. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line.”

We stand there in the thickest silence I’ve ever known, unsure of what to say or how to exist in this new version of us. For the first time, it’s like we don’t know how to be ourselves around each other.

And I don’t even want to imagine the fallout. Losing our friendship? God, I wouldn’t survive it.

Logan barely nods, then shrugs like he’s trying to shake it off, trying to pretend I didn’t just cut him open. But I saw it. He let me see it. And it’s killing me not to throw all caution to the wind.

“I don’t want things to be weird between us. We’re okay, right?” My tone teeters on the edge of begging, and I swallow hard, pushing down the emotions clawing their way up my throat. My heart is beating so fast it feels like it’s lodged there, waiting for him to say something that won’t shatter me.

You deserve it, though. You wanted this.

He chuckles, but it’s empty. Hollow. Not his real laugh. Not the one I love.

And I hate it.

I hate that I’m the reason it sounds like that now. It offers no comfort, only guilt. I’m one dark thought away from wishing lightning would strike me where I stand, just to end this misery I’ve created.

But then he’s finding my eyes, granting me mercy with a quick flash of his crooked grin. I exhale a small, shaky sigh of relief.

“We’ll always be okay, T. Come here.” He opens his arms for me one last time.

I step forward, melting into the comfort I’ve always found there. I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight, but this time I don’t let it linger like before. Even though every part of me wants to stay right there, I know I can’t.

He accepts it, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear as we pull away.

My heart catches in my throat. What would happen if I took back my lie from just a minute ago and tell him to stay?

I want to tell him I don’t want to go to Vegas without him.

I want to tell him I’d feel better if he were with me.

But, I don’t.

“Text me when you land. And … thank you for everything. You really showed up for me when I needed you, and if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have the chance to go get my sister back. So … thank you.” I smile, willing myself not to get too emotional.

He smiles back. “You’re welcome. I’ll miss you in Austin, but don’t hesitate to call if you need me. I’m always here for you. You know that, right?” When he says it like that, with the way his eyes speak with so much honesty, it’d be hard not to believe him.

It’s why he’s my rock. My safe harbor. My best friend. At the core of it all, that’s what he is. I believe every word.

“I know. You’re the best.”

His laugh is a little lighter than before as he pulls the handle up on his suitcase. “See you when I see you, T. Good luck.”

A plane roars overhead, loud and low, drawing both of our eyes to the sky. We smile at each other, a quiet moment of peace before goodbye.

“Where are they going?” he calls out to me, walking backwards toward the automatic doors, pointing up at the fading silhouette.

I force a laugh—thin and cracked—but somehow it still escapes from somewhere deep inside me.

“Vegas!” I yell back, voice catching at the end.

His smile hits me like a punch because I know I won’t see it for a while—and because I know it still affects me more than it should. It burns and soothes at the same time.

Lying to Logan hurt. But not nearly as much as lying to myself.

He winks, gives a small wave, and vanishes behind the automatic doors.

I don’t even wait until he’s out of sight. I miss him instantly.

“Lady! You gotta get moving! Can’t park here!” an airport attendant shouts at me, and I give him an apologetic nod before hopping into the driver’s seat.

I adjust my seat to my height, filling my lungs with his lingering scent. The steering wheel is still warm from his hands, and I close my eyes briefly to commit his touch to memory.

Those same hands squeezing into my hips, the warmth of his fingertips on the small of my back. And I wish in that moment—I would’ve told him the fucking truth.