Page 26 of McKenna’s Honor (The Clan MacDougall #4)

EPILOGUE

C arlich Lindsay had kept his word. He waited until a week after Arline returned before finally succumbing to old age and disease.

Before he died he asked Arline to write a letter to Phillip. “I have many regrets,” he told her. “I want Phillip to ken that my biggest regret is not seeing all the good in him and ignorin’ him when he was a child. I should have listened to his mum. I should have enjoyed his creative mind instead of worryin’ over what others thought. I ken it be too late now, to make up fer it, but I need him to ken it.”

Arline knew that the depths of Carlich’s guilt could not be felt or seen in a letter. She had hoped that Carlich would live long enough to tell Phillip himself. Phillip had sent a letter to his father explaining that he could not leave his wife this close to delivering their first bairn. Unfortunately Phillip would not arrive in time to hear his father’s words of regret.

Seamus and Aric's deaths also weighed heavily on Carlich’s heart. It wasn’t just a father’s guilt for knowing he helped hang his oldest son and grandson. “I spoiled him too much,” Carlich had told her. “’Tis me own fault fer allowin’ him too much freedom. Had I been firmer with him, mayhap he would no’ have chosen the path of treachery.”

Arline would not allow her husband to feel any guilt over the choices his son and grandson had made. “Do no’ go blamin’ yerself, husband!” Arline chastised him. “Seamus made his choices. He let greed cloud the good judgment that I be sure ye taught him.”

Arline knew he had tried to hang on, wanting desperately to see Phillip one more time. Guilt and regret, along with auld age claimed its final toll when Carlich passed away just after dawn on a sunny summer morning. Her heart ached with sadness at his passing.

While Phillip regretted not being able to make amends with his father, he did not regret being there for his wife when she gave birth to their beautiful little girl. The babe came screaming into the world on the eve before Carlich passed away.

Phillip and Helena waited two months before embarking on the long journey to the Lindsay keep. He was laird now, chief to his clan. He hadn’t any good idea how to make the transition from a solitary man to one whom hundreds of people now relied upon as their leader. He wasn’t good at that sort of thing, hadn’t had any training on how to be a good laird. But with Helena at his side, he felt confident that he could rise above his own self- doubts and be a good chief to his people.

The death of Liza, the sweet young kitchen maid, had left the clan in a deep state of mourning. They had to assume that it had been Seamus or Aric who had killed her for they could not believe anyone else would have done such a thing. The clan took some measure of satisfaction in knowing that when the two men were hanged for their crimes against king and country, they paid for the death of Liza as well. The clan grieved over her loss as much as they grieved over Carlich’s. But not one tear was shed for the men responsible for thrusting their clan into such despair and turmoil.

Arline’s father had sent a small group of men to escort her back to Ireland. They arrived the same day as Phillip and Helena. Arline had pleaded with her father’s men to allow her a few more days, for time to spend with the couple and their precious babe. Her pleas for time were denied. They would leave on the morrow at first light.

“Yer father insists that we return with you immediately, m’lady,” her father’s first lieutenant explained.

Arline knew all too well that her immediate return did not signify that her father missed her. There was a very strong possibility that he was already in the process of finding her another husband. At least she would have a year of mourning before being forced into another marriage. Hopefully, her next husband would be younger, but she would settle for someone kind like Carlich.

With what little time they had together, Arline did her best to explain to Phillip the regrets and guilt Carlich had struggled with.

“Forgiveness is no’ an easy thing to ask for, and at times ’tis even more difficult to give,” Arline told Phillip as she handed him Carlich’s last letter.

They stood on the steps of the keep in the brilliant sunshine. Helena stood beside her husband, holding their daughter. Love for her husband was plainly evident in Helena’s eyes. Mayhap , Arline thought, Helena can help him to see the truth.

“If he had to do it all over again,” Arline explained, “he would have done things verra differently.”

The doubtful expression on Phillip’s face said he did not believe her. Mayhap it was too little, too late. With a heavy, anguished heart, Lady Arline left Phillip, Helena and the babe on the steps.

She had already said her goodbyes to Fergus, Meg, and the rest of her people. Fergus had tried to offer her hope that all was not lost. “Ye’ll return someday, I ken it,” he told her with a broad smile. As much as she wanted to believe him, her heart told her otherwise. Instead of arguing, she gave him a firm hug and whispered thank you into his chest .

Her father’s lieutenant held the reins to a black gelding. With help from the stable master, she was soon mounted and leaving the one place she had ever felt at home or at peace.

There was comfort knowing that she had Robert Stewart’s letter and the men in the shadows. Combined, those two forces could prove quite useful in the future. Deep down however, she prayed the need to use them would never arise.

She took with her many happy memories of Carlich, Fergus, and her people. Her father might be able to take her from Scotland but he would never be successful in taking Scotland from her heart. Tucked securely away, like Carlich’s box, she would keep her feelings for and memories of this place well hidden. Only in times of sorrow or loneliness would she allow her heart to revisit them.

Along with those, was the image of the very handsome man, whose name she did not know. The exceedingly handsome man with the perfect teeth and brilliant smile was forever etched in her mind.

For whatever reason -- she could make no real sense of it -- she had decided to use that image to measure against any future husband she may acquire. She had convinced her heart that only a kind, gentle man of good character, temperament and patience could possess such a handsome face. That too, she would keep unto herself.

Losing Carlich left a gaping hole in her heart. More friend and grandfather than husband, still, she missed him. He had treated her with respect and dignity. Next to her sisters, he had been her dearest friend and closest ally.

Arline paid no attention to her father’s men, six in all. They led her out of the gates of the keep and headed east. The beautiful morning, with the cloud free, brilliant blue sky stood in stark contrast to the ache in her heart.

They had not ridden long when they heard the sound of many horses charging from behind. They pulled rein and spun around only to see at least fifty men on horseback riding hard toward them.

“Ready your arms, men,” the lieutenant ordered. Much to Arline’s surprise, the men made no attempt to protect her. Instead, they formed a line behind her.

Arline’s heart lodged in her throat with the memory of the night she and the MacDougall men were attacked. She glanced over her shoulder only to see that her father’s men looked positively terrified. She cursed them all under her breath as she removed her sgian dubh from her pocket. She was fully prepared to defend herself, even if the cowards behind her would not.

Just as she was ready to shout that she would ride back to the keep for help, she caught a glimpse of a very familiar figure. He sat taller in his saddle than any of the men he rode with.

“Wee William,” she whispered. She let out a relieved sigh and giggled. Shaking her head at the cowardice of her father’s men, she urged her horse forward to meet the MacDougall men.

“My lady!” Daniel called out as the large contingent of warriors rapidly advanced.

Arline’s heart lifted at the sight. She recognized the faces of Daniel, David and many of the other men who had seen her safely to Stirling. She was very glad to see them and wished that she could hug each and every one of them.

“Daniel,” she called out in return. Moments later, she was surrounded. “What are ye doin’ here?” she asked.

“We came to see ye, to offer our thanks once again,” David explained. His smile evaporated when he looked at the six men who were supposed to be protecting their lady.

“Phillip says yer da sent men to take ye back to Ireland,” Daniel said. He began to look just as angry as his brother when he saw Lady Arline’s supposed protectors .

Arline laughed when she saw the ire building in the brave warriors expressions. She needn’t ask them why they scowled and glared at her father’s men. She was no more impressed with them than the MacDougalls.

“I fear I may end up havin’ to protect them on my journey back to Ireland,” she said with a wry smile.

Two men began to push their way through the pack. Arline barely recognized them, for they weren’t shackled or covered in filth.

“I think the lass deserves a much better escort,” Angus said with a frown toward the six men.

“Aye,” Duncan agreed. He shook his head in disgust at the cowards.

Arline eyed the MacDougall men for a moment. Admittedly, her protectors left a lot to be desired. She knew without question that the MacDougall men would have formed a wall around her the moment they heard or saw strangers approaching. Apparently her protectors were not so inclined to risk their lives for her.

“Aye, they are no’ much to brag over,” Arline agreed.

Angus looked to Duncan first, then to Daniel and David before turning his attention back to Arline. “My lady,” Angus said. “If it pleases ye, I think I could spare a few of me men to help escort ye back to Ireland. I canna go meself, but I believe I could find a volunteer or two.”

For an extremely brief moment, she thought to decline his generous offer, but immediately pushed the thought aside. The last time she had ridden across the countryside, she had nearly been killed. If there were, as Robert Stewart had alluded, more traitors in their midst, they might seek to kill her out of retribution for the deaths of Seamus and Aric. If she were attacked on her way back to Ireland, she had no doubt she would not survive when she considered her current six escorts. Besides, she doubted that the MacDougall men would have listened to her.

“That would be verra generous of ye,” she said, accepting his offer. She scanned the group of men, looking for one man in particular. The handsome man with the brilliant smile. After a short time, she realized he was not with them. A slight pang of regret stung at her heart. ’Twas probably best that he wasn’t here for she might learn that he wasn’t as perfect as she had allowed her heart to believe.

When her six escorts finally realized the group of Highlanders presented no danger, they came to join them. Arline informed the lieutenant that several of the MacDougall men would be accompanying them on their journey back to Ireland. Seeing the fierce scowls and sheer determination on the faces of the MacDougall men, the lieutenant did not offer any argument against it.

Shortly thereafter, Daniel, David, Ronald and Roy surrounded Arline. A handful of other MacDougall men fell in behind them and rode with her father’s men. For the first time in many weeks she actually felt happy and quite safe.

It would take at least two weeks for them to travel the long distance to her childhood home. Two more weeks of building wonderful memories that she would keep with her always.