Page 18 of Maybe You

SEVENTEEN

My phone starts to vibrate just as I drop into my bed after getting home from work. I’m freshly showered and tired as hell, but I see Sutton’s name on the screen and I pick it up, even though I wouldn’t have if it had been anybody else.

But now I settle against my pillow and press the phone to my ear.

“Hey,” I say, softly, because Theo is on the other side of the wall, and I don’t want to wake him.

“ Hey, ” Sutton says. Equally softly for some reason. He doesn’t sound like his usual self at all. Less confident somehow. I’m probably imagining it. He’s only said one word, so that’s not enough to draw any conclusions, yet here I am, doing just that.

“Already miss me?” I ask when he still hasn’t said anything. “You’ve been gone for two days. Man, tropical islands must really suck if you still have time to remember me.”

He lets out a short, low laugh.

“ Is that where you think I am? ” he asks. “ Some island in the middle of the Caribbean? ”

“Or on a yacht, working on your tan.”

It’s my best guess. It’s not like he said where he was going. Just that he’d be out of town until the end of the week.

“Taking some time off,” is what he said flippantly. I had no idea what that meant for him, but somehow it seems to mean texting me a lot. My phone’s been going off a whole lot more these past few days, and it’s always Sutton. I’m not sure what to make of it. I’m also not sure what to make of the fact that I like it. That when I see his name on my phone screen, something warm unfurls inside my chest.

“ I’ve never been one for lying still in the sun. I get bored, ” Sutton says, cutting into my thoughts.

“It does sound a bit boring,” I admit. “Not that I’ve tried, so I don’t know for sure,” I add, and he laughs again, more relaxed this time.

“ Never had a beach day? ”

“When I was a kid, but then I was building sandcastles and not lying still. I haven’t been in years, though. Extensive burn scars and too much sun don’t go together.”

“ You’re not missing out on much. ”

“I’ll have to take your word for it.” I wiggle a bit to settle in more comfortably and suppress a yawn. “How are things?”

He makes some sort of noncommittal sound and ignores the question.

“ Tell me about your day. ”

“Because you want me to bore you to sleep?” I ask. “There’s really not much to say. It’s just the usual.”

“ Tell me ,” he says.

I do. I tell him about my day, and he listens and insists on me covering all the mundane details about my classes and work. It gets to a point where I relay what I had for lunch.

“ Dinner? ” he asks once I’m done covering the specifics of the sandwich I scarfed down between classes.

“Pasta with mushrooms and vegetables. Seriously, are you having a contest with somebody to see who has the most boring friends?” I ask with a laugh.

He’s silent for so long I really do start to think I’ve managed to bore him to sleep.

“ Is that what we are? ” he finally asks . “ Friends? ”

“I mean… yes?” I say. “At least, I think we are?”

I’m not sure I should’ve said that, what with the whole I’m-against-relationships-of-any-kind policy he’s got going on. But also maybe I shouldn’t tiptoe around everything. Fuck’s sake, he’s had my cock down his throat and I’ve told him more about myself than I have anyone else. I think I’m allowed to say we’re a bit more than just casual acquaintances by now.

“ Yeah, ” he says after he’s mulled over it and apparently determined that he’s not going to burst into flames just for using the wrong kind of f-word in association with me. “ Yeah. I think we are, too. ”

He takes a deep breath.

“ What do you have planned for the rest of the week? ”

“Same old, same old. More school. More work. I was thinking of heading to the park on Saturday.”

“ For birds? ” he asks, and he sounds way too excited about something most people probably consider excruciatingly boring.

“Yeah. I have nothing else planned, so I’m taking advantage.”

“ Where? ” he asks.

“I’m not sure yet. The Ramble, maybe? I haven’t been there in forever. I guess I’ll see.”

He hums thoughtfully.

“ What time? ”

I laugh. “Why? You’re out of town. What does it matter?”

“ Fine. Be mysterious. ”

“Yeah. That’s me. Mysterious,” I say. “Sometime in the afternoon. Four-ish.”

“ See? Was that so hard? ”

He sounds weirdly cheerful all of a sudden, and I’m not sure why.

“Excruciating,” I say. “What do you have planned for the rest of your time on that multimillion-dollar yacht you’re currently hanging around on? Keep in mind that I have no idea how the other half lives, so don’t disappoint. Do you have a butler who indulges your every whim? So if you get a hankering for a steak covered in gold or a diamond watch in the middle of the night, they’ll make it happen? Are you staying in a cabin made of gold? Is the yacht made of gold? Do you have orgies? Is there?—”

“ Whoa, ” he says with a loud laugh. “ No. ”

“To all of it?” I ask. “Even the orgies?”

“ You sound disappointed. Did you want me to have an orgy? ”

Fuck, no.

The thought is quick and unbidden, and it should have no business being anywhere in the vicinity of my brain. The uncomfortable squeezing in my chest has even less right to be there.

I know the rules.

“Well, you’re… I mean, I don’t…” I squeeze my eyes shut. “If you wanted,” I finish and feel like an idiot.

He falls silent, and I curse in my head. I should’ve just shut up. Instead, I’ve now invited all sorts of thoughts and I’m quickly finding out I don’t really like them. I also don’t like that I don’t like them.

It’s stupid. I know it is, but up until now I didn’t really think about who else Sutton might be sleeping with besides me. I also realize it’s incredibly naive to operate under the assumption that he isn’t. Just because my social life is nonexistent doesn’t mean his is. And since he says he has no commitments or obligations, he has a lot of time on his hands to do whatever and whoever he wants.

I don’t like that idea.

And I also don’t like that I don’t like that idea.

It’s a slippery slope and idiotic to boot to develop a crush on somebody just because you like the way he handles your dick.

It’s not real.

The crush, not my dick.

And it’s not even a crush.

I just like Sutton.

And that’s fine. Plus, I suspect the weird thoughts I’m having about him have got something to do with the fact that I’ve just gotten used to having him around a lot, and now he’s away. So this I-like-him crap most likely has at least something to do with his absence.

I should really end this call before I accidentally say or think something else that’s a firm ten on the dumb scale.

“I should let you go,” I say into the phone. “It’s getting?—”

“ I’m not going to, ” he says, and the words come out in a rush, like he wasn’t sure he was going to let them out until they were just there.

“Not going to what?” I ask.

“ Have an orgy. ” For a moment, the only thing I can hear is his soft breathing in my ear. “ And I’m not sleeping with anybody else right now, ” he adds like he can read my thoughts.

My heart picks up speed, even if I really don’t appreciate it.

I ignore it and clear my throat.

“Yeah. No. Me neither.” I almost snort out a laugh, because that sounds like I have a steady line of takers queueing up behind my bedroom door. “That sounds… fine.”

“ Fine, ” he repeats. I can hear the smile in his voice, and it makes me roll my eyes.

“Whatever.”

“ You should probably get some sleep now, ” he says.

Probably.

But I’d keep talking to him if he wanted me to.

Which is a clear sign I really should put some distance between us. I’ll be back to my senses once he gets back in town.

“I’ll see you on Monday?” I say, because I just can’t seem to help myself.

“ I think it’s pretty safe to say you’ll be seeing me on Monday. ”

And still, neither of us hangs up.

Luckily it only takes me a little while to realize I’m being an idiot again.

“Bye,” I say.

“ Bye. ”

I hang up.

Monday suddenly seems so far away.