Page 6 of Matrimonial Merger (Lakeshore Empire #2)

I rested my head on his shoulder. “I don’t blame you. She’s fucking mad, but… maybe I don’t quite understand it yet? Maybe motherhood makes you lose your fucking mind for no reason?”

He wrapped his arm around me. “I think that is probably what set your mother off, but it’s no excuse.”

“An explanation?”

“Maybe. I’m sorry. It’s be a hard day.”

“Oh, it’s all my fault.”

“How?” Cal asked. “Baby, you didn’t do anything other than exist. It’s not like anyone let you get a word in.”

“No, they didn’t. And that’s why I just left,” I said. “But… if I wasn’t pregnant, everything wouldn’t be melting down around me. I’m so tired. I have no fight left. I just want to take a nap for two months and wake up when the nausea is gone.”

“It will improve. And things won’t always feel this heavy.”

I met his gaze. “Really, Cal? Because all I hear is that I am going to be forced to be the knocked up bride who is embarrassingly big on her wedding day—like a walking embarrassment. If all of this—if having to go on record about the fact that yes, that was me naked in that video—wasn’t bad enough, let alone being the shameful unwed pregnant woman. ”

“Daph, you’re going to be beautiful?—”

“I don’t want that, Cal. I ran away from my first wedding and was brought back kicking and screaming. Now? Now I have to do it seven months pregnant! It’s mortifying!”

“You don’t need to be embarrassed. This isn’t the sixteen hundreds, baby.”

“Well, it’s not just that. I also…” I couldn’t say the words.

“What?” Cal shifted his weight, looking at me head-on.

“I just.. I’m going to have go down the aisle alone—without Dad—and… it sucks.” Tears welled in my eyes for the thousandth time that day. “I will be embarrassed and sad. At least the first time, I had him there with me. It was the only good part of that day. And I should have savored it all more.”

“Oh, my love,” Cal sighed. “I’m sorry.”

He held me tight as I cried, finally admitting the thing that bothered me most about any sort of wedding planning. I couldn’t imagine standing at the beginning of a church aisle alone without my father.

“It’s why I’ve drug my feet on planning,” I sniffled.

“Because as stupid as it sounds, I cannot visualize it without crying. It feels so lonely and hard. If he were here, he’d be…

so happy. And now... he’d want to meet this baby.

It’s all he ever wanted—to be a grandfather.

But I just… I cannot stomach planning it.

I want to marry you. I want that so much, Cal.

But the wedding? It all feels so sad and pointless.

Because even the things I was excited about—picking a dress that I loved, rather than what I thought everyone wanted and having a beautiful spring wedding with all of our families—it feels ridiculous now.

All I think about is how I’m going to overheat in June and sob the entire way to you.

And how I will hate our pictures and regret all of that—not the marriage, just the wedding. And I’m shallow and I care?—”

He handed me a tissue. “You’re not shallow, Daphne. Not at all. You’re allowed to want to look at your pictures and not hate them. And you’re allowed to miss David. You’re allowed to wish he was alive. I know I did today—a lot.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Daphne, I was sitting in your office expecting to see him any minute. Of course, I’d hear his laugh before I’d see him with any luck.”

I smiled before descending into tears again. “Oh, fuck, I know just what you mean. And I just miss him so much, Cal.”

“We could get married sooner?—”

“Cal, our engagement party isn’t even until February. And your mother?—”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what our mothers do or don’t want. Yours had her way the first time. She is aware this isn’t about her. Mine? She can fuck right off. I told her if she cannot treat you with respect, she doesn’t get to be in our lives—and that includes the baby.”

“You what?” I gasped.

“I told her she could either behave or she’d not know our kid. Daphne, being a grandparent is a fucking privilege. The last thing I want is for our baby to grow up thinking it is okay for another adult to treat their mother like dogshit.”

“To be fair, my mother is no angel and--”

“She called my mother a cunt? I am aware. But… she deserved it.”

I snickered. “Jesus Christ. I never thought she’d utter such a thing.”

“Her baby was sick and Mom kept poking at you on a day where everyone was having a breakdown without David. I get it. I saw red. I think she will behave—I hope she will. And it doesn’t matter.

We will do what we want to do. What do you want to do?

Do you want to wait until after the baby is born?

We could have a long engagement, I guess? ”

I could tell the suggestion pained Cal. He’d have married me tomorrow if I asked him.

“I don’t want to wait until I’m nursing a new baby and trying to figure my shit out,” I said. “No. We’ll only be more exhausted. I wouldn’t want to wait.”

Relief spread across his face.

“I love that you want to marry me so much you were willing to wait even longer ,” I giggled. “But that’s not what I want. I think the only thing worse than being a very pregnant bride is trying to explain for another year that I’m just the mayor’s girlfriend for another year.”

He kissed my forehead. “You are never just anything, Daphne Delphine. You’re everything. I would marry you anywhere, anytime if you’d let me.”

I smiled. “I feel the same. But I do actually want to have some sort of wedding. I will be okay. I’m just mourning what I thought the day would be.

It doesn’t look anything like I thought it would, but it doesn’t matter.

I’m marrying the person I love. And I’m finally having a baby. I should be happy.”

“You will,” Cal said. “And if you’re worried about walking down alone, don’t. I think your brothers would be happy to help. It will look different, but the world is different than the first time I kissed you in that conference room. And maybe that’s not for the worst?”

I held his face in my hands. “Cal Markham, you’re everything I could ever want, but you’re right. Both of us lived, learned, and had to get here.”

“Sorry it took so many twists and turns,” Cal said.

I leaned in, kissing him slowly. He was the only one I needed right now—the only one I cared to entertain, too. I was safe here.

“The best deals are rarely linear,” I said. “M & A takes time, baby.”

He snickered. “Only you would mention M&A during wedding planning, Daphne.”

“It is technically a merger, is it not? Because I swear if you call this an acquisition?—”

Cal shook his head. “It never would be. This is far from a hostile takeover, princess.”