Page 42 of Match Made in Heaven (The Cricket Club #5)

When the lady came to the bedside table, Ella saw her glance at the letters from Lord Oliver, staring at that spot a half-second longer than she had the others.

Ella willed herself to speak. “D-did Cordelia ask you to come? She shouldn’t have done that.”

Lady Everly waved her hand dismissively. “Your sister has done only what a sister should do. Do not blame the woman for loving you too much. Besides, it wasn’t only her. I reached out to your older sisters as well. They said your illness had passed, but… something was still wrong.”

Ella felt that old irritation surge. Again, her family thought they knew what was best for her, regardless of what she said. “They shouldn’t have alarmed you. As you can see, I’m doing much better.”

She lifted her hands to punctuate her bold words, but Lady Everly’s unimpressed stare forced her to wrap her arms across her chest instead. Ella changed tack. “You’ve also been ill, I’ve heard.”

A shadow fell over the lady’s face before she could blink it away. “I was, yes,” she replied stiffly. “I received some terrible news and stayed at my brother’s home while I recuperated. It… affected me more than I’d expected.”

If Ella could understand anything, it was that. “But I see you’re better now.”

Lady Everly smiled. “Yes, thank you.”

Ella entwined her fingers nervously, thinking of things to say. She was out of practice with small talk. It dawned on her that she’d never entertained a friend in her room before.

“My mother shouldn’t have brought you here,” Ella said. “I could have met you in the drawing room.”

The lady tilted her head swiftly, the blue feather in her bonnet wobbling. “Would you have? From what I’ve heard, you haven’t left your room in days… weeks.”

Shame burned Ella’s cheeks, but it only fueled her anger more.

“Is that why you’ve come, to deride me? Let me guess, Myfanwy ordered you to chastise me for missing the last few practices?

” She turned her back on her friend, facing the window, finding solace in the muted scene.

It had rained all morning, and black umbrellas peppered the sidewalk.

“Tell her that I don’t care. She can replace me. Please, ask her to.”

Lady Everly chuckled, surprising Ella. “Oh, I won’t be doing that . You can handle that on your own. Besides, Myfanwy’s a little busy at present.”

Ella glanced over her shoulder with a questioning look.

“She delivered her baby. A week ago. Jennifer told me. Said she named the baby Grace”—Lady Everly’s lips quirked—“which I found oddly fitting for a daughter of hers.”

Ella clasped her face, overjoyed and overwhelmed by the news.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Lady Everly asked softly. “How life persists even when all else feels lost?”

Ella’s hands fell from her face, her shoulders slumping. “I don’t know,” she replied wearily.

Lady Everly followed her to the window, flicking the lace curtain aside to peer out into the street.

“I met Lord Oliver and his brother when I was very young. Did you know that?” she said, ignoring the hitch in Ella’s breath.

“I couldn’t stand them at first, especially Oliver.

Even for a duke’s heir, he thought too highly of himself.

But Jack”—a faint smile curved her lips—“he was more palatable, if a little too serious. I remember this one time when he decided to build a fort out in the woods of my father’s estate.

We all helped at first, me and Ollie, but soon we grew tired and bored, as most children do.

We retreated to the house for biscuits and forgot about the whole thing.

Much later, I walked back out to the woods to see what he’d accomplished.

And he was still there! So intent. So focused.

He simply wouldn’t stop until he finished what he’d promised.

Even at thirteen, I remember thinking about the man he would become, the passion he was capable of. ”

“Did… did”—Ella’s throat tightened—“did you love him?”

The lady’s eyes widened. “Jack? Good Lord, no. To be honest, he scared me a little with his quiet, brooding stares.”

Ella smiled, seeing the young Jack as the lady described him. All long limbs and forbidding features, keeping everyone from his fort until he’d made it perfect.

Her stomach fluttered at the picture, and though it still stung and made her want to crawl under her sheets once more, it wasn’t intolerable. She could handle it.

Lady Everly extended her arm, as if to pat Ella on the shoulder, but she quickly thought better of it and returned it to her side.

“Yes, well… I just thought… I don’t know what I thought.

” Frowning, she spun to leave, making it halfway across the room before hesitating.

Confused, Ella watched the lady take a deep breath before turning back to face her.

The brackets around her mouth deepened, and she sighed as if debating whether she wanted to say more.

“What is it?” Ella asked.

“When my husband died, I was miserable and lonely. And that quickly gave way to anger and pain. After a time, I was so tired of feeling everything and anything that I just gave up. I chose to avoid it and ignore all the messy emotions plucking at my insides.” She touched the brim of her bonnet, making sure it was still at the proper angle.

“And that worked for a while. I was able to go outside again, meet with people without losing control and falling apart.”

Ella’s heart stalled in her chest.

Lady Everly continued. “But that made everything worse. Because that numbness bled into the rest of my life. I couldn’t smile or laugh; I couldn’t find joy anywhere.

Hiding pain is just a way to keep it with you, safe and locked deep within.

But there’s no containing it, and soon it festers and spreads until there’s nothing left.

” She winced. “The only way to heal is to feel the pain. You have to accept it, move through it. It’s terrible; I can’t lie to you.

You’ll want to die time and time again, but then…

one day you’ll wake up and the first thing you think about won’t be how miserable you are.

I promise you, Ella. All you need to do is get up.

Every day. Again. And again. The rest will take care of itself. ”

Ella didn’t have the energy to wonder how Lady Everly knew about her and Jack. Nor did she have it in her to be furious at Cordelia for probably telling Lady Everly. And she definitely didn’t have it in her to hide her emotions from her friend.

Her vision clouded with tears as she covered the choking sob from her mouth. “What if I can’t? What if I’m not strong enough?”

No one ever described Lady Everly as a soft woman—but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be. “You are. You just don’t know it yet.”