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CHAPTER TEN

Early July, 1204 A.D.

“M y lady?” Gart addressed Emberley as he entered the great hall of Dunster. “You should come to the kitchens and see the impressive buck that your sons killed.”

The afternoon was warm, lazy, with a stiff sea breeze blowing off the ocean. It made the outside air sticky with moisture and salt. The great hall of Dunster was a nice cool spot, dry, smelling of smoke and old rushes. It had been quiet and peaceful until Gart and the boys had broken the spell.

Emberley smiled at Romney and Orin, who were flanking Gart with faces full of pride. She set down the sewing in her hand, a lovely little dress that she was making for Lacy. It was blue with embroidered flowers around the neck. Spread out all over the table were her sewing things as she mended breeches and sewed little dresses. Although the servants could do the work, she enjoyed it.

“A buck?” she lifted her eyebrows at her boys, then Gart. “I thought you were teaching them to ride. You said nothing about hunting.”

Gart nodded. “I was teaching them to ride, but we were interrupted by a three point buck. Rom and Orin are very good with a crossbow.”

She tried to keep the shock from her expression. “Crossbow?” she repeated. “Those weapons are bigger than they are.”

“I held it and they pulled the trigger.”

The boys were nodding proudly throughout Gart and Emberley’s exchange. They seemed so genuinely happy that Emberley didn’t have the heart to scold Gart for allowing her sons around something as dangerous as a hair-trigger crossbow.

“Come and see our buck, Mama,” Romney reached out and grabbed her hand. “We will feed everyone with it and Gart said he will have a man make shoes from the hide.”

Emberley let Romney pull her from the great hall. Orin was running on ahead, jumping up and down and shouting about the buck. Gart brought up the rear, a lazy smile on his face as he watched the boys dance around, yanking on Emberley’s arm.

She looked over her shoulder to make sure he was following, smiling when their eyes met. Gart’s smile broadened and he winked at her. It made his heart swell simply to look at her. The past seven weeks at Dunster had been just like heaven. Tucked away in their own little world, he could pretend that Emberley and the children belonged to him. They played together every day and at night after the children went to bed, Gart would sneak into Emberley’s bower and make love to her most of the night. He couldn’t ever remember being happier, safely shielded in this little corner of paradise with a woman he deeply adored.

Days like today had become commonplace. He would spend his time with the boys during the day, teaching them about riding or battle, schooling them as he had often schooled pages and squires in the past. All three boys were fast learners, eager, and they had all become quite attached to each other. Gart always made sure he returned to his own bedchamber before the children woke up because every morning at dawn, three eager little boys woke him up. It was the best thing he could wake up to, this part of life he had never known existed.

As Gart thought of the joys of the past several weeks, watching Emberley’s shapely backside in the process, the group rounded the corner of the towering keep and entered the kitchen yard. The big buck was lying in the middle of the yard, surrounded by a couple of male servants and the cook as they figured out the best way to go about butchering it. Romney made sure to tell the cook that he killed the buck and the fat woman was very proud of him.

“Good heavens,” Emberley exclaimed softly. “That is a very big deer. We will have lots of meat from him.”

Romney and Orin were nearly bursting with satisfaction. “Gart said we could kill another one the next time, too,” Romney said. “Can I have my own crossbow, Mama?”

Emberley shook her head. “You may not,” she said. “It is not that I do not trust you, but a seven-year-old boy simply does not need a weapon like that.”

“But I will be able to feed the castle,” Romney insisted, looking at Gart. “Do you think I am big enough to have one?”

Gart didn’t want to get in the middle of the debate. “If your mother says you must wait, then you will listen to her,” he told the boy. “Her decision is the one we will abide by.”

Romney didn’t seem pleased but he kept his mouth shut. Not wanting to crush her son’s spirit, Emberley hastened to reassure him.

“You did a fine job, sweetheart,” she told him. “I am very proud of you. Go find Gerta now and I will meet you in the hall for the nooning meal.”

Romney obeyed his mother, taking Orin with him. As Emberley eyed the big buck, Gart noticed that the cook and the two servants had moved back into the kitchens to find a knife big enough to cut the buck with. It was just him and Emberley left in the yard as he faced her.

“Did I do a fine job, also?” he asked softly.

She looked at him, a smile playing on her lips. “You did, sweetheart. I am proud of you as well.”

He smiled at her. “Just so you are aware, I had a crossbow when I was Rom’s age. My father commissioned it for me.”

Her smile left her and she flattened her lips irritably. “Did Rom coerce you into begging on his behalf?”

Gart laughed. “He did not. I am begging of my own accord. Boys must be allowed to become men.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “At seven years of age he must become a man?” she shook her head. “That is ridiculous. He is still a child.”

“He wants very much to be a man. You must let him.”

She cocked her head “If he was your flesh and blood child whom you had raised from birth, I wonder if you would be so eager to see him grow up?”

“I suppose we shall find out one day if God is merciful.”

Her smile abruptly faded and she turned away from him, hoping he would not see her change in expression. But Gart was extremely observant and noticed immediately. He also noticed she was trying to hide it from him.

“What is wrong?” he asked softly. “Why do you look that way?”

She shook her head but he wouldn’t let her get away so easily. When she tried to move away, he blocked her path.

“Tell me what is wrong,” he begged softly.

She grew frustrated and stepped back from him, still not meeting his eye. “Do you have any idea what you ask for?”

“What do you mean?”

She looked at him then. “You pray for a child of your flesh and mine.”

“I realize that.”

“It will be a bastard!”

She lifted her voice and he shushed her softly. “It will not be that way forever.”

She rolled her eyes miserably. “You do not know that for certain.”

“Aye, I do.”

She burst into quiet tears. Unsure why she was so emotional, Gart looked around quickly, spying the buttery in the corner of the kitchen yard. It was a little stone shack where cold dairy products were stored. It was also sturdy and private. Not wanting Emberley’s tears to be seen by everyone, he took her by the elbow and gently pulled her into the buttery. She followed without a fight.

He shut the door behind them. It was cool and dark inside, a small window near the roof allowing for ventilation and a small amount of light. Gart pulled her into his arms now that they had some privacy, rocking her gently.

“What is the matter, my love?” he asked, his lips against her head. “Why do you weep?”

She sobbed miserably. “We are in trouble.”

Other than the obvious, he had no idea what she meant. “Why?”

She was sobbing so much that it was difficult for him to understand her. “Since… since Julian and the queen have been lovers, he has not… not… touched me. He said that it would not be right.”

Gart digested that statement, the ridiculousness of it, feeling a great deal of happiness in the declaration. But he was still confused.

“I see,” he wasn’t sure what more to say. “What does that have to do with anything?”

She pulled back, gazing up at him with a harried, frightened expression. “Because he will know he is not the father.”

Gart still wasn’t quite following her. “What do you mean?”

She struggled to calm herself, gazing into his handsome face and laboring to bring forth the words. “The baby,” she said softly. “He will know it is not his.”

“What…?”

“I am pregnant, Gart,” she interrupted him softly. “You have your wish. But Julian will know the baby is not his.”

Gart stared at her, such shock invading his features that, for a moment, it looked as if the man were about to blow the top of his head off. He was stunned. Genuinely speechless, he pulled her into a crushing embrace.

“My sweet, sweet girl,” he breathed, holding her tightly. “How do you… are you certain of this?”

Emberley was tucked up against him, protected and safe. She wanted to stay there for the rest of her life. At the moment, she didn’t feel nearly the fear she had been feeling seconds earlier. Gart seemed to have the ability to suck the fear right out of her.

“I have had four children, Gart,” she said with some irony. “I know when I am with child.”

He suddenly held her at arm’s length, looking her over. There was a quiver to his movements, as if everything were all bottled up inside of him and waiting to come bursting forth. Even his hands were shaking as he gripped her.

“But… how?” he asked, correcting himself when he realized how stupid that sounded. “What I mean to say is why did you not tell me before now?”

She couldn’t tell if he was upset or thrilled. She wiped at the tears on her face, composing herself.

“I am only now certain,” she said. “I was not going to tell you my suspicions until I was certain. There was no need to upset you.”

His eyebrows flew up. “ Upset me?” he repeated, almost outraged. “Did you truly believe this news would upset me?”

She shrugged weakly. “I was not sure,” she said honestly. “In fact, while you were out shooting the buck, I was sitting at the table trying to determine just how I should tell you. It is not as if we do not have enough worries on our minds.”

He knew she was right. It was both joyous and terrible news. With a heavy sigh, he pulled her back into his powerful embrace, feeling her soft warmth against him. He leaned back against the cold stone, holding her as his mind wandered to the new scenario now presented. Now, things had changed dramatically.

“It is not as if we did not know this could happen,” he said softly. “We have been with each other nightly. I did not have to spill my seed inside of you but… I was selfish. I wanted to. To lose that joy and that expression of my feelings for you somehow made the act itself seem trite and incomplete.”

Her head was against his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. “I became pregnant very quickly with my children,” she confessed. “In fact, Julian has truly only touched me a handful of times since we have been married, and only then he did it until I conceived, which was mercifully quick. I seem to be very fertile. I knew this could happen but it did not discourage me. You belong to me, Gart, as I belong to you. Conceiving a child in such love does not seem wrong.”

He grunted in agreement. “Nay, it does not,” he whispered. “But the fact remains that the situation has changed considerably. We must make some hard decisions and make them quickly.”

She was coming to feel afraid again. “I told you once that I will trust you to do what is right. I still trust you, more than ever. What shall we do?”

Gart had been thinking on that subject for more than seven weeks. There were times he would wake up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep because his mind was whirling with thought. He would lay there with Emberley in his arms, staring at the ceiling and wondering what in the world he was going to do. As much as he loved living a fantasy life at Dunster, the truth was that he could not do that any longer. He had to make a decision and follow that path through to completion or the consequences could be deadly.

But he needed time to clear his thoughts. A pending child had changed everything. He put his enormous hands on Emberley’s face, kissing her sweetly in the dim light of the buttery.

“Go inside and take the nooning meal with the children,” he told her. “I will see you later and we will make plans.”

She nodded. “As you say,” she replied. “Will you not take the meal with us?”

“Nay. I will see you later.”

“Where are you going?”

He paused. “To see a priest.”

She blinked. “Priest?” she repeated. “What about?”

He grinned. “Can I not keep any secrets from you?”

She returned his smile, reluctantly. “I did not mean to pry, but if you are going to confession, do not go to the church in town or in Minehead. Those priests are loyal to Julian and they would not hesitate to tell him your confession.”

Gart nodded, his smile fading. “I understand. Thank you for the warning. But I did not intend to go to confession.”

“May I ask what you intend to do?”

“I want to know what the church would consider grounds for a divorce.”

She looked at the man as if he had lost his mind. Gart quietly opened the door, peering out into the kitchen yard to see that the cook and the two male servants had returned to butcher the buck. They were far enough away that Gart and Emberley were able to slip from the buttery unseen. Gart touched her hand sweetly before moving off towards the stables while Emberley continued on to the keep.

Lost in thoughts of a divorce, Emberley rounded the corner of the keep from the stables and kitchen yard area into the main body of the bailey. She could hear soldiers on the wall, shouting to one another, but she was used to the commotion and didn’t give it much thought. Life went on around her, dogs and men and horses, but she ignored it as she pondered her future. She was afraid, but she was also hopeful. At the moment, she couldn’t really decide what she was feeling because it was all so surreal. Like Gart, she needed time to sort her thoughts out as well.

Mounting the stairs, she noticed that there seemed to be a good deal of activity on the walls, enough that it jarred her from her thoughts. Glancing up, Emberley could see that Gart had mounted the walls and his men were talking to him, pointing out into the countryside beyond. Curious but not overly so, Emberley continued into the keep where her children were taking their meal.