Page 12

‘Prom night, baby!’

I gasp for air, coughing and spluttering as I wake.

Chase is standing over me, holding the pillow he just hit me with.

‘Fuck, are you OK?’ He’s wearing the same blue baseball cap.

The same Miami Dolphins shirt.

‘Again?!’ I gulp. ‘You can’t be serious!’

I get out of bed and hurry over to the window.

The rugby team are throwing the ball around as always, completely oblivious to the fact this is the third time we’ve all been here.

‘No, I’m not doing it,’ I say, grabbing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts.

‘Not again.’

‘Doing what?’ Chase says, looking at me in confusion.

‘There’s no point explaining because you’ll just forget again tomorrow!’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

He looks offended.

‘It’s nothing,’ I say.

‘Everything’s fine, OK?

I just need some air.’

‘OK …’ he says, sounding completely baffled.

‘Here if you need me!’ he shouts as I charge out of the room and go straight up to Kellen’s.

There’s a dirty sock on the door handle for some reason.

I knock twice and open the door, to see Kellen straddling Rhys, both of them naked.

‘Zach!’ Kellen squeaks.

Rhys just seems to find it funny.

‘Sorry!’ I yell, quickly shutting the door again.

I must say I’m a little surprised at how he’s dealing with this.

Third day in a time loop and the first thing on his mind is sex?

Last night really must have gone well for them.

Not that Rhys would remember, but something must have Kellen in a ‘ good mood ’ this morning.

We need to talk, but hanging around listening at doorways isn’t my style, so I turn and head back for the stairs.

I’ll figure this out myself and then when he’s finished we can –

‘Zach, wait!’ Kellen calls.

I turn to see him standing in the open doorway.

He’s wearing shorts now and is pulling on a basketball jersey so big it must belong to Rhys.

‘The fuck was that?’ he demands, pulling the door closed behind him.

‘Did you not see the sock?’

‘The sock?’ It’s still drooping on the handle.

‘Is that supposed to mean something?’

‘It means we’re busy .’

‘Since when?’ I swear he’s making this up.

‘Since always . Literally everyone knows that. They practically teach it in sex ed!’

‘I must have missed that lesson. All we got at my last school was Baby Making 101 …’

‘The heterosexual agenda working overtime as always,’ Kellen says with a shrug.

‘You know, it is weird, isn’t it?

That this loop situation is just happening to us, the gays?’

‘Only the two of us,’ I say.

‘I don’t think this is some gay/straight thing.’

‘It just seems weird, though. Of all the students this could happen to.’

‘I guess?’ I say.

‘But does it matter? I really don’t think I can go through this again!’

‘Well, we don’t seem to have a choice …’

‘You seem awfully calm about it.’ Infuriatingly so, actually.

‘First rule of a crisis,’ he reminds me.

‘Fuck the rules of a crisis!’ I cry.

‘Who really remains calm during an earthquake? When a plane starts plummeting? When a building catches fire? You really think people actually make their way calmly to the nearest exit?’

‘Well, they should,’ he says.

‘Panicking doesn’t solve anything.’

‘Neither does immediately hopping on your boyfriend’s dick!’

‘Watch it.’ Maybe he’s right.

Maybe that was uncalled for.

‘Urghhh!’ I run my hands through my hair in frustration.

‘Zach, chill,’ Kellen says, catching my hand to steady me.

He fixes his eyes on mine and there’s something about the way he does it that makes me find a moment of stillness.

Everything is still on fire, of course, but he looks at me like he knows the way to the exit.

‘What are we gonna do?’ I ask softly.

‘Well,’ he says, ‘you can start by telling me what happened at midnight. Was it the guy in the mask again? He kissed you just like last time?’

‘Not exactly.’ I groan.

‘I pushed Ethan into the lake.’

‘You did what ?’ Kellen exclaims. ‘You know he can’t swim, right?’

‘No, I didn’t know that!

Why does everyone know who can and can’t swim?’

‘He’s scared of water, Zach!

He fell off the side of a yacht when he was a kid!’

Truly, only a Hawthorn could have a story of childhood trauma that involves a yacht.

‘That’s why it’s such a big deal that he’s captain of the rowing team,’ Kellen continues.

‘How do you not know this? They ran a story in the Herald and everything!’

‘Must have been a slow news day,’ I scoff.

‘Does the Herald not have more important things to report? Are they really that obsessed with the lives of teenagers?’

I hear Harrington’s car alarm in the distance.

‘There’s a story now!

Students Vandalize Headmaster’s Car!’

‘I would read that story …’ Kellen says.

‘But OK, focus, Zach. Why would you push Ethan in the lake? Why does your day keep ending in disaster?’

‘You mean yours doesn’t?’

Kellen seems unwilling to answer that.

‘It doesn’t matter what happened,’ I say, thinking back to that awful conversation with Ethan.

Him forcing my hand over his body.

I don’t want to have to explain that.

‘He was just being a dick, OK? Fear of water or not, I promise you he deserved it.’

‘But he was OK, right?’

‘I don’t know,’ I say.

‘I jumped in after him. The last thing I remember was choking on the water. And then I woke up here all over again.’

‘You mean you … died ?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

Kellen chews on his lip for a moment.

‘And no sign of the mystery boy?’

‘He never showed,’ I say.

‘Still as much a mystery as ever.’

‘Hmm,’ Kellen says, thinking.

‘You know, we’ve gone through prom twice now, and neither of us have seen anyone wearing anything like that gold suit you described –’

‘I’m not crazy, Kellen.

I know what I saw!’

‘I know,’ he says in that infuriatingly calm voice.

‘But what if someone switched outfits? Halfway through the evening?’

‘Exactly what I was thinking,’ I say.

‘But who? And why?’

‘An accident?’ Kellen looks thoughtful.

‘Maybe someone spilled something?’

The realization hits me like a bucket of pig’s blood.

‘Josh and Owen! I ruined their outfits that first night!’

Kellen seems confused.

‘You did?’

‘With the pig’s blood!’

I must have forgotten to tell him that part.

‘It’s a long story …

but yeah .’

Suddenly he looks more hopeful.

‘So it has to be one of them, right?’

‘I mean, it makes sense. Bec was convinced it was Josh who voted for me anyway.’

‘And you guys have so much history.’

‘We don’t have so much history.’

I sigh. ‘We hooked up one time .’

‘But you like him, right?’

I don’t know how to answer that.

‘I don’t not like him,’ I say.

‘He’s cute, yeah, but –’

‘But nothing. It has to be him. It’s either that or Owen is a closet case.’

I consider that for a moment.

‘Do you think he … could be?’

‘Absolutely not.’ Kellen laughs.

He doesn’t even need to think about it.

‘Even in his rainbow outfit, I have never seen someone so unbendingly straight. It’s Josh.

I’m certain of it. Maybe it’s time for you two to have a little heart-to-heart?’

‘I’m not good at those!’

‘What are you good at?’

OK, ouch .

‘All right, fine,’ I finally say.

‘I’ll talk to him. But I’m not doing a “ heart-to-heart ”.

We’ll just have a normal conversation.

Like two regular guys.’

‘Don’t forget to say no homo .’

Kellen rolls his eyes.

‘You know you’re allowed to talk about your feelings, right?

You don’t have to be this emotionless robot all the time.’

‘Emotionless robot?’ I say.

‘I’m plenty in tune with my emotions!’

‘You’re about as tuned as a grand piano that just fell from the Empire State.’

I scowl, but I know that there’s a little bit of truth in that.

‘I’ll talk to him,’ I say.

‘Just give me a couple of hours.’

‘Take your time,’ he says.

‘I’ve got some business of my own to attend to.’

‘Business?’ I look at the dirty sock still hanging on the door.

‘ Oh … business.’

‘Let me know how you get on?’ He turns back towards his room.

‘We’re in this together, Zach.

Everything’s going to be OK.’

‘Hey, Zach,’ Owen says as I approach him and Josh on the grass outside.

My palms are already sweaty and I haven’t even said anything yet.

‘Hey! Good morning!’ I say way too enthusiastically.

What are you doing, Zach?

‘Someone’s excited,’ Josh says.

I remember him saying something like that in the shower.

‘I mean … it’s our last day, right?

Of course I’m excited!’

Owen laughs. ‘It’s good to see this side of you, Zach.

You normally walk around campus like some emotionless robot.’

OK, that’s the second time I’ve been called that.

How am I only just learning this is what they all think of me?

‘Well, speaking of emotions …’ I say.

‘Mind if I steal Josh for a second?’

‘That sounds ominous,’ Josh teases.

‘Not gonna confess your undying love for me, are you? If you wanna play the beast-with-two-backs again, then just say so!’

This is a nightmare.

How am I supposed to have a heart-to-heart with the class clown?

Even when we hooked up, he was making jokes during.

Though I have to admit I did kind of like that.

It eased the pressure a little.

Made it seem a lot less serious.

‘Please take him,’ Owen says.

‘I’m begging you. He’s doing my head in.’

‘He’s just annoyed that the gay boy wants to talk fashion,’ Josh retorts.

‘I just want you to make a decision! He’s being indecisive about tonight’s outfit.’

‘I’m not being indecisive!

I’m being thorough .’

‘Well, actually,’ I say, ‘that’s exactly what I want to talk about.’

‘Why didn’t you say so!’

Josh jumps to his feet excitedly.

‘I’m always here to talk fashion!

Intending to pull a look tonight, are we?’

‘Not exactly,’ I say, thinking of my plain white suit.

Owen lies back with his head in his hands and shuts his eyes, taking in the warm sunshine.

He’s pretending to be grateful for the peace and quiet, but I know he loves Josh really.

Because that’s how we all feel.

We pretend to be annoyed by his stupid jokes, but I’ve even seen him make Tiffany crack a smile.

Life at Oakbrook would be a whole lot less fun without him.

‘So?’ Josh says, once we’re out of earshot.

‘What fabulous outfits are we talking?’

‘Yours,’ I say.

‘I know what you’re wearing tonight.

It’s a jester’s outfit, right?’

‘Oh, that absolute gibbon.’ He glances back at Owen.

‘I told him not to tell anyone!’

‘He didn’t tell me anything,’ I say.

‘But there is another choice, right? Something else you were thinking of?’

‘Yeah, but it’s too serious ,’ Josh says.

‘I think everyone’s expecting me to do something a bit more fun.’

‘Why, what is it?’

‘I can’t ruin the surprise!’

‘But it’s … important.’

‘Oh yes, very important,’ he says.

‘Zach, what’s really going on here?’

‘It’s complicated,’ I say.

‘But did you see the results of the leavers’ poll?’

‘Oh my God!’ he says.

‘Hottest boy! I knew it was you that voted for me!’

‘Wait, what?’ I say.

‘I thought you voted for me !’

‘Why would I do that?’

‘OK, wow,’ I say.

‘Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?’

He laughs at that.

‘You already know I think you’re hot, Zach.

I didn’t need to tell you in some anonymous poll.

You think I give out love bites to just anyone?’

‘I didn’t want the love bite!

That’s how people found out!’

‘You expect them to believe we went into the boathouse to do what – a jigsaw? Though I do like jigsaws.’ He bites his lip.

‘The way the pieces slot together so effortlessly .’

‘Oh my God –’ I groan – ‘can you be serious for one second?’

‘Hmm.’ He thinks about it.

‘No, I really don’t think I can.’

I want to be annoyed, but I can’t help but smile.

Maybe this makes things easier.

‘So you really didn’t vote for me?’

I say. ‘It seriously wasn’t you?’

‘You would’ve been my second choice,’ he says.

‘But no, I voted for someone else. It was a wasted vote, really. I went for one of the straight boys.’

I glance across at Owen, lazing in the sunshine.

‘You voted for him, didn’t you?’

‘I wasn’t about to let my bestie get zero votes,’ he says.

‘These girls are blind if they don’t see what a catch he is.’

I think about Chase then, and regret not voting for him.

‘But don’t you dare tell him!

I want him to think it was one of the girls!’

‘OK, I promise. And your backup outfit?’

I need to know for certain.

‘Why are you so obsessed with what I’m going to wear, Zach?’

‘I can’t explain why.

I just need you to trust me.’

He looks at me, confused for a moment, and sighs.

‘I really don’t get why this could possibly be so important, but …

I was gonna dress up as Obama.’

‘ What? ’

‘Michelle’s husband.’

‘Yes, I know who he is.’ I laugh.

‘Why on earth were you going to dress as Obama?!’

‘It’s a masquerade!’

he says. ‘You’re supposed to come in disguise!’

‘Yeah, but not like that ! I thought you were worried about it being too serious?’

‘He’s a politician!

That’s ultra serious!’

‘Oh my God!’ Literally only Josh would come up with this.

‘So you weren’t going to dress in a gold suit then?’

‘Ew,’ he says. ‘No, Zach. What on earth would possess me to do that?’

‘It wasn’t Josh,’ I say, catching Kellen at the main door to the school.

He was upstairs for so long that I’m surprised he’s not limping.

‘Are you sure?’ he says, raising an eyebrow.

‘Hundred per cent,’ I say.

‘He went the best-friend route and voted Owen for hottest boy. Wanted him to think one of the girls did it. And he doesn’t have anything gold.’

‘Huh.’ Kellen frowns.

‘I really thought it was him. But if not, that means … Owen ?’

‘It can’t be Owen!’

I protest. ‘He doesn’t raise so much as a blip on my gaydar.’

Kellen rolls his eyes.

‘Gaydar isn’t real, though, is it?

It’s just a bunch of lazy judgements based on stereotypes.’

‘I think it’s a bit more than that,’ I argue.

‘There’s just that indescribable something .

Take Rhys, for example.

He’s not exactly one with the fairies, but I absolutely knew he was queer before he came out.

And I think you did too!

That’s why you pursued him!

Gaydar isn’t real when straight people claim they have it.

But us gays? We know.

We just know.’

‘Well,’ Kellen says, ‘we should at least rule Owen out properly, right? He’s the only other person with a reason to switch outfits.

He’s our only lead now, Zach.’

‘I suppose so,’ I say.

‘But I can’t have another heart-to-heart right now.

Talking to Josh was one thing.

We have history as you oh-so-coyly put it.

How am I supposed to ask Owen if he’s secretly gay and if he fancies me?’

‘Well, good job I came up with a Plan B then, isn’t it?’

Kellen smiles smugly.

‘If he is your mystery kisser, that gold suit should be hanging up in his wardrobe.’

I have to admit this is a really good idea.

‘So you think we should break into Owen’s room?

What if we get caught?’

‘The day’s just going to repeat anyway!

Consequences don’t matter!’

Kellen beams. ‘Besides, we don’t need to break in.’

He holds up a key.

So he wasn’t with Rhys the whole time.

That’s where he’s been.

‘How did you get that?’ I say.

He grins. ‘I have my ways. Come on. While everyone’s still at lunch …’

‘How do you know which room is his?’ I ask as we climb the final flight of Hawthorn stairs, reaching the top floor.

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been up here.

‘I’ve been in all the boys’ rooms,’ Kellen says.

‘I’m a social butterfly.’

‘That’s true. I remember you brought me a house plant back in first year.’

‘You seemed homesick! I thought you might need a project.’

‘You said our friendship would blossom as long as the plant did.’

Kellen raises an eyebrow.

‘And how long did it take you to kill it?’

‘A week,’ I say.

‘Me and plants do not get along.’

He laughs at that.

‘Maybe we’d have stayed closer if you’d done a better job of watering it.’

‘Are you really gonna blame a plant for us drifting apart?’

‘No,’ he says.

‘We’ve just had very different lives here.

I wish we’d stayed close, though.

I honestly mean that.’

‘Well, be careful what you wish for. What if we get stuck in this loop forever?’

‘We won’t,’ he says, stopping by one of the dorm rooms. ‘Every story has an ending.’

‘Is this it?’ I say, trying the door to see if it’s already open.

It’s locked.

‘This is it,’ he confirms, taking the little key out of his pocket and holding it up.

‘You wanna do the honours?’

‘I guess,’ I say, taking the key and unlocking the door with a click.

Doing this feels necessary, but I still can’t help thinking that what we’re doing is terribly wrong .

I’d hate it if somebody went snooping around in my room – not that I really have anything to hide.

The room is altogether unremarkable, barely different from mine.

The only thing that sets it apart is that it has a much better view.

Unsurprisingly, Hawthorn have all the rooms that look out over the lake.

Though I suppose, from the Sycamore side, we do get to watch the rugby team, so there are some perks …

‘So, is Owen top or bottom?’ I ask.

‘I can’t say I’ve given it much thought,’ Kellen says, looking at me weirdly.

‘There is a certain masc energy about him, but –’

‘The bunks, Kellen!’

‘ Ohhhh ,’ he says.

‘Bottom, obviously. Owen is a conventional neat-and-tidy person. Look, his bed’s made perfectly, the corners tucked, the pillows fluffed.

The top one, however …’

‘Who’s his room-mate?’

I say, looking at the messy bunk.

‘I dunno, one of the rugby boys?’ Kellen shrugs.

I’m so glad I don’t have to share with a straight guy.

I really lucked out with that one.

Things could so easily have been different.

Kellen nods to the wardrobe.

‘Ready to find out if Owen is your mystery man?’

‘I guess.’ I sigh, walking over to grab the handles.

‘I bet it’s not him,’ I say, flinging the doors open.

‘See …’

We both fall speechless as the sun strikes an elegantly cut suit, setting it shimmering in the light.

Gold fabric that looks way too familiar.

By pulling open those wardrobe doors, we pull Owen out of the closet.

‘That’s it,’ I say, reaching out to touch the fabric.

‘I can’t believe it.’

‘Me neither,’ Kellen says, but his voice is strained.

‘Are you OK?’ I ask.

There’s a flash of something on his face that suggests there’s something he’s not telling me, like his brain is working overtime.

‘I’m fine.’ He reaches for a familiar mask on the top shelf of the wardrobe.

‘And this?’

‘Yeah,’ I say, taking it from him.

‘That’s it. It was actually Owen.’

‘Maybe it’s not as surprising as we thought,’ Kellen muses.

‘He’s always been a bit of an outsider, always kept his cards close to his chest. The Hawthorn kids are constantly awful to him.

Maybe he thought coming out would make things even worse?’

‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘But something about this doesn’t make sense …’

‘Could it be that you’re disappointed?’

Kellen says cautiously.

‘I mean, you were hoping it was someone else, right? You were still hoping it was Cameron?’

‘Maybe,’ I say.

‘Owen isn’t exactly my type …’

‘Well,’ he says, ‘perhaps that’s all you need to know?

Just because Owen kissed you, Zach, that doesn’t mean he’s the one .’

‘True,’ I say. ‘But I kinda thought figuring this out might … I dunno … break the spell?’

Kellen shakes his head.

‘We’re in this loop together.

Surely whatever we have to do to get out of it has to be something to do with both of us, right?’

‘I suppose,’ I say, feeling more lost now than ever.

At least before I had an objective – uncover the stranger, secure true love’s kiss.

But that’s not going to work now.

Not with Owen. I can’t just force myself to like him like that.

‘Do you wanna go down and join them?’ Kellen says, pointing out of the window.

The rest of Sycamore are heading towards our base.

‘Ethan won’t get by us a third time.’

‘Can we just skip it?’ I say.

‘Hawthorn are only going to win anyway.’

Kellen grins.

‘I was kinda hoping you’d say that.’

‘You were? But everyone will be wondering where we are.’

I take out my phone.

There’s already a load of Where are you ?

messages from Chase.

‘Does it matter?’ says Kellen.

‘The day’s just gonna loop over again anyway.’

‘Do you really think so?’

‘I don’t know,’ he says.

‘But there’s truly nothing I’d rather do less than play Capture the Flag for a third time.

Do you trust me? I have a much better idea.’

‘Two–one to Hawthorn!’

Miss Madzikanda’s distant voice booms over the loudspeaker.

The game is going ahead and our not being there has made absolutely no difference.

The scoring is the same as always.

Our team are no worse off without us.

‘I’ve always wanted to do this,’ Kellen says, opening the door to the boathouse.

It smells like old wood and sawdust, with a hint of teenage sex.

Though I wonder if I’m imagining that part.

The reputation of this place precedes it.

‘I’m not having sex with you,’ I say, peering in.

‘You should be so lucky,’ he shoots back as we slip inside.

‘So what are we doing?’ I ask, looking around the racks of racing boats.

‘Isn’t it obvious?’ he says, going over to a little wooden rowing boat bobbing up and down in the water.

‘I always wanted to join the rowing team …’

‘And yet you didn’t,’ I say.

‘Because they take all the fun out of it. Correct posture … synchronization … health and safety …’

‘Because nothing says fun like drowning.’

‘It’s just a little rowing boat,’ Kellen says.

‘What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘You do remember I almost drowned twelve hours ago, right?’

I remember the horrifying feeling of being trapped underneath the water.

‘Of course,’ he says, peering into the lake.

‘Only you could drown in something so shallow.’

I look down, and in the sunlight I can see right to the bottom.

Kellen’s right: it’s no more than a metre deep.

Weird. I could have sworn it was far deeper than that last night.

‘Besides,’ Kellen continues, ‘if you fall in, I’ll jump in to save you.’

‘My hero,’ I say sarcastically, reluctantly climbing into the boat.

I sit facing him, watching as he grapples with the oars for a few moments.

‘You have no idea what you’re doing, do you?’

‘I’ve seen this plenty of times,’ he says.

‘You just sort of have to …’ He sticks his tongue out with concentration as he tries to get the boat to move, and eventually, with great difficulty, he finally pushes us out from the boathouse on to the water.

‘See?’ he says. ‘It’s easy!’

‘And yet you make it look so difficult,’ I tease as we begin to glide over the water, sunshine dappling across the rippled surface, reeds swaying in the gentle wash of the boat.

I hate to admit it, but Kellen is right: it would have been a shame to leave school having never done this.

‘It’s hot out here,’ he says, pausing to take off his shirt.

Beads of sweat glisten on his skin, and I feel myself staring.

As annoying as Kellen is, he’s cute.

You’d have to be blind not to see that.

Maybe if him and Rhys hadn’t ended up together …

?

I watch as he fiddles with his phone for a moment before sighing and shoving it back in his pocket.

‘Everything OK?’

‘It’s nothing,’ he says.

What is he hiding?

‘I’m so sick of these nails,’ he says, changing the subject.

‘If I’d known I was gonna be stuck with them forever , I’d have done a better job.

See?’ He holds his hand up so I can get a better look.

‘This one’s already chipped.’

I take his hand in mine as I study it.

We make eye contact for a moment before I quickly pull away.

Get it together, Zach.

He has a boyfriend.

‘So what do we do now?’ I say as we reach the other side of the lake.

There’s a little wooden platform that juts out over the water from the edge of the woodland, the trees swaying gently in the breeze.

‘Nothing,’ he says, tying up the boat and climbing out.

‘We do absolutely nothing.’

‘I don’t understand.’

Kellen sighs. ‘I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I’m starting to suspect that us being at prom just makes everything worse.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Think about it. Everything bad that’s happened has happened because of one of us.

The pig’s blood on the yearbook.

Ethan in the lake. That embarrassing proposal.

We’re the reason everything keeps going to shit.

I think we just need to stay out of the way.

Stop messing everything up.

It’s like the butterfly effect.

One tiny change can completely alter the course of history!

You go back in time, tread on the wrong leaf, and suddenly humans have three eyes and can breathe underwater.’

‘Why would we have three eyes just because you trod on a leaf?’

Kellen sighs.

‘I think you’re missing the point.’

‘I see what you’re saying,’ I say.

‘But have you not noticed how everything seems to want to run the same way, no matter what we do? We can ruffle a thousand butterfly wings and yet we wind up having the exact same conversations with our friends –’

‘Another point to Sycamore!’ Madzikanda’s voice booms. ‘Two–two!’

‘– you see? Even the game is going the same way without us.’

‘So what’s your point?’

Kellen says.

‘Well, if we can do whatever we want and it doesn’t have an impact, it means we’re free of consequences, right?

Like, if we do something awful but nobody remembers it, does it even matter?

We could become supervillains and inflict pain on everyone, and then wake up the next day like saints!’

‘Should I be worried that you went from zero to supervillains inflicting pain on everyone in the space of about three seconds?’

I huff.

‘I’m not saying I want to inflict pain on everyone.

But we could, right?’

‘Well, no … because we’d remember, wouldn’t we?

We’d have that on our conscience forever.

And, even if we didn’t, I think karma would catch up with us eventually.

Karma remembers, even when people don’t.’

‘Karma isn’t real, though,’ I say.

‘It’s just a nonsense concept people use to make themselves feel better about their choices.

Look at all the worst people in the world getting away with stuff – murderers and dictators and Elon Musk.

Where’s their karma?’

‘I don’t know,’ he says.

‘But maybe it’s still coming to them.

How can you say karma is nonsense when we’re stuck here living in nonsense?

If this loop is real, then who says karma isn’t?

Or heaven and hell? Or whatever else people choose to believe in.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy” – and we’re quite literally living proof of that!’

I shake my head.

‘There’s a scientific explanation for everything.

Maybe we’re just dreaming all of this?

What if it’s a joint hallucination?

Or how do I know that you’re even here at all – you could be a figment of my imagination?’

‘You really believe that?’ Kellen scoffs.

‘You really think this is just some dream.’

‘I dunno.’ I shrug.

‘I’m just saying that there’s probably a rational explanation.

Just one we haven’t figured out yet.

Maybe the planets are just …

fucking with the timeline.’

‘I’m sorry, did you just say “ the planets are just fucking with the timeline” ?’

I laugh. ‘Shut up!’

Kellen holds his hands out in front of him, turning them over, as if examining them.

‘Do you think we’re getting older?’