Page 3 of Marrying the Gardener (The Bachelor Brothers #3)

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The Hallmark Channel called; they want their plot back.

Kaleb

“My grandfather is a—” Crimson swears an adjective, then a noun, mere moments after my pseudonym—the name Madame D’Clancy helped me get paperwork for—graces the space at the bottom of an NDA.

My brows rise, and my mind trips to consolidate the refined tone saturating such crass language.

If nothing else, I suppose we’re starting this meeting eloquently.

Within a private room at The Black Swan, Crimson laces her fingers atop the table between us, genteel complacency mingling with the calm on her face. “In other words, he’s a sexist, arrogant boomer. And he is also dying.”

I blink.

Did…

I am so sorry.

Did Crimson Nightingale just call her grandfather a boomer ?

That feels somewhat incorrect. I’d expect a dry delivery of Gen-Z vocabulary from Crisis, but never Crimson. It’s a testament to their relationship if they’re rubbing off on each other like this, but I’m not certain how to manage the whiplash.

Wetting her perfect red lips, she lowers her gaze to her hands.

“In his final weeks, he’s taken a renewed interest in his family, proposing that from now until he dies he’d like to spend time with us each Saturday, so long as he feels well enough.

And so long as we all continue to receive invitations.

Do you understand where I’m going with this? ”

“Your…grandfather is setting up a particularly interesting Bachelorette for a shot at his inheritance…”

A frail smile graces her mouth, and my heart can hardly manage being the cause of it.

“Indeed. I need a husband who will continue seeing that we’re invited each week all the way up until my grandfather’s will is decided.

Once he passes and the matters of his wealth are finalized, we’ll divorce, and per the prenup I’ve drafted, all estates obtained during our marriage will belong to me. ”

Seems simple enough.

In a totally did I watch this on the Hallmark channel…? kind of way.

Lifting my water cup, I rest the cool glass against my bottom lip and maintain my collected facade. Because although I fell asleep during the last Hallmark film I saw, I know what happened to the main characters.

They fell in love and lived happily ever after.

Imagine my being this lucky.

Pushing back the luxurious waves of her hair, Crimson presents a thick document and touches the tip of her pen to what appears to be an extensive list of regulations.

“My grandfather is attracted to men who are cocky and arrogant, like him, but who worship the ground he walks on. My father is the same. Likely, you will need to win them both over. The way I intend to introduce our relationship won’t be graceful, so you will quickly need to establish that you are a man willing and able to keep me in my place. ”

Tensing, I take a sip of my water.

“There will, inevitably, be a physical aspect to this ploy. The men in my family treat their women like objects without brains. In the interest of aligning you among them, I am willing to be manhandled.”

I choke on my water.

Crimson pulls her attention off the document and peers at me. “Are you all right?”

Dragging a linen napkin to my mouth, I cough and nod. “I’m sorry. I must have misheard you. Did you just say you want me to manhandle you?”

“ Want is a strong word. If you accept this job, I’m giving you permission to partake in the precursor to what you’ve been suggesting from the moment we met.

Graciously, the men in my family refrain from public displays of assault, so these physical displays won’t reach a zenith, but…

well. I am willing to let them be uncomfortable enough to get the points I need them to across. ”

“To be painfully clear, Ms. Nightingale, I have in no way petitioned an interest in manhandling you.”

She stares at me. Her pupils dart off my face for a second, then drop to the papers. “Are you not a man?”

“I…am.”

“And were you not attempting to get your hands on me?”

“Well…”

Her eyes lock on mine for many seconds, then she sets the matter quite squarely aside.

“So anyway.” She moves her pen to another page and another paragraph.

“Once we begin, you will address me by name, with endearments, or with insults. I have a cousin whose husband strictly calls her flubber because her BMI is three points above underweight . That is to say, she’s three points into a healthy weight. And this bothers him. Greatly.”

When I swallow, it feels like glass going down my throat.

“If you use insults or endearments with me in private, I will cut off your tongue. Do you understand?”

My fist clenches against my thigh. “Absolutely.”

She turns another page. “I intend to play off our relationship as one that has been standing secretly for several years. I have enclosed information on our history that I will expect you to study before we tie the knot. As far as my father needs to know, I’m pregnant.

You convinced me marriage was the right thing to do , and I believed you.

Because I’m female and have the mental capabilities of a jellyfish. ”

I…am glad I have stopped drinking water.

“My grandfather will be dead before any signs of pregnancy can show, and once he is, it will be too late to change his will when no infant appears. I am the only child of my grandfather’s only son.

Implying a possibility that the perfect male specimen might have already set in motion the potential for an heir will lead to further favor in this game.

” Another page turns. “While we’re married, I expect you to live with me in my manor.

I only want the two of us to know that our relationship isn’t real, which means I expect this act to be maintained in front of my staff.

This eliminates some chance of error in case my grandfather gets suspicious, visits, or sends anyone to interrogate my girls concerning you.

I have the means with which to control and falsify your work history should he look into it, so don’t worry about that. ”

She’s got some incredible trust issues, doesn’t she? “Will your staff not be suspicious themselves, having neither seen nor heard of me until now?”

“Because of your status and my family’s pressure, I’ll tell them that I’ve kept our relationship secret from everyone.

It helps that I’ve been averse to all mention of political relationships until now.

They can think it’s because I’ve been in love with someone I shouldn’t be.

From a psychology standpoint, it should be believable enough that I’ve fallen into the toxic cycle of finding someone just like my father.

Now that a pregnancy has changed our access to secrecy, my role will be woman in love who is thrilled that we can finally be together . Your role will be man .”

My brow jumps. “ Man? ”

She nods. “You think you own me. You’ve been playing the long game.

You’re hyped on your own genius at having finally conned your way into the Nightingale family.

Keep the toxicity a constant undercurrent, at home and in public.

Make sure you’re subtle enough that it makes sense for me to have fallen for you, though.

No one is allowed to suspect a thing. Can you manage that? ”

Can I manage that? Sure. Without vomiting though…? I’ll do my best. “I can.”

“We’ll stay married until the executioner of my grandfather’s estate signs off on my due.

Given the information I’m privy to, I suspect my grandfather has approximately a month left to live.

The subsequent distribution of his assets shouldn’t take more than a year.

Are you willing to commit to this ruse for that long? ”

Oh, darling… I’m willing to commit my life to you for as long as you want it. “I am.”

Fractionally, she relaxes. “Any questions?”

Trying to stop my hand from quaking against my thigh, I say, “If you hate your family so much, why haven’t you cut them off sooner? Why go through any of this to begin with?”

“Money.”

“Money’s worth your peace?”

Her eyes narrow, and she leans back in the white leather of her chair.

“Peace can’t exist without power. Without power, I have no protection.

In this world, money is power. Cutting off my family without the ability to stand on my own two feet means blacklisting my name.

My family is bitter and petty and full of egomaniacs.

I don’t know what my father would do in order to make my life miserable if he perceives that I’ve disrespected him.

Without money, and power, I’d have to disappear. ”

Disappear . I can’t say I don’t completely understand…

But she’s not entirely correct in assuming there are only these options. In her case, she’d either have to disappear…or marry someone with the kind of power she needs to level the playing field with her family.

Someone like a Bachelor .

“Any other questions?” she asks.

I press my lips together, control my breath. “No.”

“Do you think you’re suited for this job?”

Am I suited to play an abusive husband? Not exactly. And, yet, I think I’d do just about anything to help this woman. “Acting selfishly is simple enough. Where do I sign?”

She tightens her grip on the pen. “Before that, I have questions. What do you seek to gain from this? I can’t afford your asking costs on this timeline, and for this to work, you’ll need to forego your escort services for at least a year.

Anyone who overlaps in our circle will need to be told that they were a means to an end you are no longer interested in.

That burns bridges with clients. I can provide favors once I have power, but the way I see it, if you were ambitious enough and had enough clients, you could make millions in a matter of months.

No matter how I look at it, this results in a loss for you. ”

“Consider my interests in this agreement somewhat personal.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“I assume we’ll be sharing a bedroom. If you intend to keep this ruse between us, your live-in staff will expect as much. Consider it my honor to spend such intimate time with you.”

She frees a sardonic laugh. “In some ways, it’s refreshing to know you aren’t sugar-coating your intentions. That is the only angle I keep coming back to—the novelty of being with a Nightingale. I cannot stress enough that we will not be going there, Mr. Charter.”

“Never call me that. Please.”

“Very well. Kaleb, we will not be going there. If you want to waste millions on a futile effort to get in my pants, I won’t try to convince you otherwise, but for my own peace of mind, I want to make myself painfully clear.

” She leans forward, and ice sharpens the look in her brown eyes.

“We will not be engaging in intercourse. We will not be sharing a bed. My master bedroom shares a closet with another master bedroom. Those doors lock. You will be staying in that other room.”

“In that case, I do actually have a price. I’d like for you to allow me to spend time with you in private each evening before we go to our separate rooms.”

“No.”

“That’s my requirement. It’s important for both our sakes, Ms. Nightingale.

You’re placing me in a corrosive role. For this to work, we need to remain united.

We will need to understand each other. It’s vital that we set aside the time to communicate, apologize, and renew our trust in each other after whatever horrors the day’s act brings us both through. Is that not reasonable?”

“I’m entirely convinced that you intend to use that time trying to seduce me.”

I hold her gaze. “And if I do?”

“It’s futile.”

“Then what do you have to lose?”

Her expression cools, and she offers me the pen. “Fair enough, Kaleb. But you should know, I am not morally opposed to stabbing in self defense.”

“Do continue to flirt with me, Crimson.” Taking the pen, I sign my name on every line, then I smile and offer her my hand. “Pleasure doing business with you, wife.”

Chuckling, she clasps my fingers, and squeezes. “Til his death do we part, husband.”