Page 65 of Marry in Scandal

It had been a very businesslike proposal. He hadn’t even kissed her. Perhaps that was why she felt a little flat. She had to admit she’d been expecting a kiss, at least. And looking forward to it.

Why had he tried so hard to paint himself in such an unfavorable light? Was he trying to put her off, or was he simply trying to be honest with her? It was impossible to know.

He’d admitted that his reason for proposing was the scandal—well, that was no surprise. Before Lily had gone into receive his offer, Emm had told her that she’d tried to talk Mr. Galbraith out of proposing, just as she’d tried to convince Lily not to marry him.

But he’d chosen to propose. And Lily had chosen to accept.

Was it only his sense of honor that had prompted him to offer marriage to her? Or did he have some other reason, one he hadn’t mentioned?

Lily had. She hadn’t admitted it to anyone except Rose yet: She wanted Edward Galbraith. More than wanted, she loved him.

At least she thought she did. Rose said it wasn’t love, that she was confusing love with the gratitude she felt for her rescuer, and Lily did feel grateful. But when Edward had kissed her in the dark woods and held her in his arms, it wasn’t gratitude she felt.

When she’d told Rose and George about the kiss, Rose’s view was that Lily was too inexperienced to tell. Galbraith was a rake; it stood to reason he would know how to kiss. What Lily needed, Rose said, was to be kissed by a lot of other men. Then she’d know what value to put on Mr. Galbraith’s kisses.

Except Lily didn’t want to kiss a lot of other men. She only wanted one man to kiss—Edward.

George had said that Lily didn’t need to kiss anyone else, that any man who shared his kisses around like Mr. Galbraith was reputed to do wasn’t worth having.

There was sense in their opinions, both of them. But Lily wanted Edward with a desperate yearning. She thought of him constantly, and even dreamed of him. Was that love? She didn’t know.

Emm had suggested Lily was perhaps a little infatuated—which was understandable given the dreadful situation he’d rescued her from. It was also understandable, Emm said, that she was attracted to him; he was an attractive man and could be quite charming—when he wanted to be.

But he was so much older than Lily—nearly twenty-eight to Lily’s eighteen—and so much more experienced.Perhaps Lily could look around a little more. The ton was full of charming and eligible young men.

That made sense too, but Lily didn’t want to look around.

She felt certain—almost—that she loved Edward, but was shein lovewith him? Didn’t there need to be two who loved to beinlove? Both of you, loving each other?

It was hard to know. He hadn’t hinted at any feelings. He’d said things like,I’m no catch, you deserve better, I’m no hero, I am a rake—all very clear messages warning her off admiring him in any way.

But the more he tried to make her dislike him, the more she wanted to hug him. He was so much more wonderful than he thought he was.

Was she doing the right thing in marrying him? She didn’t know.

Was she doing the wrong thing? She hoped not.

All she was sure of was that if she’d refused his proposal today, she probably wouldn’t see him again, and that she couldn’t bear.

Something had begun, in that trip back from Yorkshire, and every instinct she had was to nurture it. She felt certain—as certain as a girl full of doubts could—that this was what she had to do. She loved Edward and would do her very best to make him the best wife she could be. And she would hope and pray that he would become the loving kind of husband she’d always dreamed of.

He might be marrying in scandal, but she would marry in hope.

She reached the landing, turned the corner, and found Rose and George sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for her.

“Well? Did you send him on his way?” Rose demanded.

“He’s downstairs, talking to Cal.”

Rose’s eyes narrowed. “What about?” When Lily didn’t respond, Rose made a dismayed exclamation. “You accepted him, didn’t you? Oh, Lily!”

“I want him, Rose,” Lily said quietly.

“I know youthinkyou do, but... Oh, Lily, I just wish...”

“I suppose I must wish you happy, then,” George said. She didn’t sound very confident or in the least bit joyous, but Lily hugged and thanked her anyway.

Then Rose hugged Lily tightly, saying, “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be so— I just want you to be happy, Lily.” Her eyes were bright with unshed tears.