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Dino

Dino

S he’s looking at me with an expression I work out at once. She’s not sure if she’s allowed to want this. It’s easy to understand.

Women get told desire is shameful. They have it drip fed into them that wanting dirty things is all kinds of wrong. They can only be madonnas or whores and nothing in between.

“It’s okay to say yes,” I tell her, my finger hovering on the switch.

She still looks nervous. A few minutes ago, she wanted to stab me and now she looks very different.

I know it was the kiss that did it. The way her lips feel against mine changes me every single time. Makes me wonder about myself. Maybe I’m not as dead inside as I thought I was.

I flick the switch, and she shakes her head. “No, don’t.”

The screens on the window shift and suddenly there’s a ton of light in the room. She’s more nervous than she needs to be. Most people in the city don’t even notice what’s going on right in front of them, let alone through a window three stories up.

Across from my place is an office and there’s people typing away in there. None of them are looking our way. “Say the word if you want it to end,” I tell her, my finger still on the switch.

She looks at me, and her eyes bulge. “Please, for fuck’s sake. Don’t let them see me.”

I pause for a few delicious seconds before flicking the switch again. The window screens shift and she’s no longer visible to the outside world.

“How did it feel knowing the world could see your tits?”

“Awful. Humiliating.”

I smile. “Exciting too?”

She shakes her head, but then a tiny smile flickers on her lips and I know the truth. She can’t admit it yet, but she will. She’s an exhibitionist.

Maybe I can take advantage of that while we’re in Rome. I’m not sure when to go, but not yet. First, I need to deal with Ricardo.

I walk over to the bed and sit on the edge, stroking a circle around her nipples with my fingers. “If you say sorry for trying to stab me, I’ll let you up.”

“Will you?”

“Of course. I’m no monster.”

“You sure?”

“Not to you.”

“Then let me up.”

“Say sorry first.”

“I’m sorry all right.”

I nod approval. “And what are you sorry for?”

“Trying to stab you.”

“You going to behave? ”

“Yes, I’ll behave.”

“Then up you come.” I untie her wrists as my cellphone rings in my jacket pocket. I dig it out and head for the door, leaving her to undo the bonds on her ankles. I lock the bedroom door on the way out, just to be safe. I’m still not sure if I can trust her yet.

She might try to run again and I can’t have that. Not now. She’s shown me the real her in there. Filled with lust and desire, if she’ll only admit it. She will find an outlet for all she once thought shameful. She will find genuine pleasure here with me if she’ll only let me in and stop fighting me all the time.

Fighting gives you an excuse to punish her.

The thought flits through my mind as I press the cellphone to my ear. “Speak to me.”

“I’ve got some shitty news,” Corrado says."

“What is it?”

“The shelter got demolished this morning.”

“What the fuck? I gave explicit instructions to hold off until I give the word.”

“I know that.”

“Then why the fuck has it been knocked down?”

“I’ve got the guy in the basement if you want to talk to him about it.”

I glance back at the bedroom door. She’ll have to wait. She’s just starting to trust me. I told her I wouldn’t lie to her.

I said the demolition wouldn’t go ahead until she had a chance to see the paperwork. I better make sure she doesn’t find out. First step, find out how the fuck it happened.

I march down the stairs and slide open the door to the basement. I take the steps two at a time and unlock the interrogation room. Inside Corrado and a couple of soldiers. In the middle of them a guy strapped to a chair spitting out blood, his face a mess.

“Who the fuck gives the orders around here?” I ask, storming over to him.

“Don Belucci sends his regards,” he replies. “Heard about your deal with her and thought he’d send a wedding present to fuck things up for you.”

I pull out my gun and press it to his forehead. “Got any last words?” I ask.

“You going to shoot a made man?” he says with a laugh. “Stop bluffing and go call the Don. He wants to talk.”

“Who says I can’t shoot a made man? I already whacked Santo.”

“Only the Capo dei Capi can whack made men without permission,” he says, not looking as bold as he did a moment ago. “You know that.”

“Should have left the shelter alone,” I say. “Where’s Ricardo?”

“Gone where you won’t find him.”

“I’ll make it quick if you tell me.”

“So make it slow. I’m no pussy.”

I curse under my breath and then shoot him in the head. “He might have talked,” Corrado says as my ears start ringing.

“Torture him long enough and he’d tell me he was the Pope,” I reply. “Men like that take their secrets to the grave. You have any luck finding Ricardo?”

“Not yet, but I’m working on it. What do you want me to do about the shelter?”

“Get the new building constructed fast. No one talks to Rose about it, got it?”

The soldiers nod.

“And get rid of that body. Do it so Don Belucci doesn’t find him.”

I walk over to the stairs and climb up them, stepping out into the study. I’ve barely set foot in there when I get a message on my cellphone. Unknown number. Library. A single word, but one that sends a chill through my blood.

I’ve not been called to the library for years. It’s where the Capo dei Capi sends his messages. Public space. Computer terminal one in the corner on the third floor, Italian political history. He’s got a sense of humor, I’m guessing.

Am I scared? No, it’s not that. What is it then, this feeling running through me as I head out to the Bentley? I work it out while I’m driving. It’s fear that he’ll refuse to recognize the marriage. Tell me I’m not good enough for his daughter.

I’m not giving her up.

That means if he won’t allow the union, I go to war with the most powerful man in the country, a man I’ve never seen in person.

Rumor has it he has his killings done quietly, bodies dissolved, never to be seen again. Is that what’s about to happen to me?

She’s still in the bedroom, and the last thing I did was walk out on her. Will I get to see her again?

I check my gun. Good to go. I’ll fight the devil himself, if that’s what it takes to keep her by my side.

I get to the library and park up. I walk inside and take the stairs to the third floor. Last time I was here, I’d been Don for twenty-four hours. He already knew and sent congratulations, gave me a job that should have been impossible.

Take out the cutter, the guy in Europe who slices up the worn out women, the ones trafficked over there back in Don Belucci’s heyday.

I went over to Europe and tracked him down, found him with a family, wife, kids, little kitten. Hard to believe I had the right guy, but the fingerprints proved it.

He was hiding in plain sight. That’s the way to do it. Hide out in the open where no one expects to find you.

I waited a week for the right moment. Until he was home alone. Got Timmy to help me bypass the security and then got in there. The Capo dei Capi said the cutter was still using his skills on the locals. Since we dealt with the trafficking, he was obviously getting bored. Time to retire him permanently.

He was supposed to be impossible to find, but I managed it. Impossible to kill, but he died easily enough. I got rid of his body before his family got home. Did they know who he really was? Impossible to say.

I let them live. They weren’t involved. They didn’t know I’d even been inside. The only evidence I was ever there was the scar on my side from his blade. Cut me deep, but I cut him deeper.

I walk out onto the third floor of the library and wonder what the message will be this time.

The computer terminal is empty. Is this the way he talks to all the families or has he got dead drops all over the city? Who knows? What I do know is I sit down, and the screen goes blank at once. He must be watching the cameras, know I’ve arrived.

I think I might be about to get whacked. This is the ultimate test. It’s the part I didn’t tell her. If the Capo dei Capi doesn’t approve of the union, it gets ended quickly. I could count in hours the length of time we’ve been married. Is this it? Does it end here ?

I tense up. Message or death. This is the moment of truth.

Text appears on the black screen, green capital letters like it’s the 1980s. Do you love her?

That’s not easy to answer. I don’t know if I’m capable of love. I thought I was once, but I soon stomped down on it. It’s an emotional weakness that gets in the way of business. I rose above it to reach the top in front of my brothers. Her name flickers into my mind. Rose. Do I love her?

I don’t know what love is, I type back.

Do you love her?

I pause before replying. I want to fuck her. I want to have an heir with her. Base emotions are the reason for both those desires. What is love, anyway? Isn’t it just the desire to fuck? That’s all I’ve ever felt toward women. I never felt anything deeper than that. I doubt it exists.

No, I reply, not sure I’m telling the truth. Have I got the job or just signed my own death warrant with those words?

Then let her go.

I type fast.

If I do, Ricardo Belucci will claim her.

Let her go. That’s an order.

The screen clicks off and a second later it’s back on the library menu, like nothing happened. I stand up. The conversation is over.

I can’t obey his command. He may be the Capo dei Capi, in charge of all the mafia families in the country, but he’s not the boss of me. I will not give her up.

Whether I love her or not is irrelevant. If I let her go, Ricardo gets her. Maybe once I’ve dealt with him, I can think about it, but for now, she remains my wife.

I call Corrado on the way out of the library. “He sent a message,” I tell him. “Told me to get rid of her. ”

“Going to do it?”

“Not a chance in hell.”

He laughs. “Only you would go against a ruling from the Capo dei Capi. You know what this means, right?”

“Trouble.”

“I’ve been getting bored recently, Dino. Maybe it’s time we show our muscle, show what we’re capable of. You got the chip. You got her. I say you make yourself the Capo dei Capi. Fuck them all.”

I hang up and get in the car. Is this the start of the war? Is this how I go out?

If the world’s about to go to hell, there’s one thing I want to do first. She’s waiting for me back at the house. Some people want a last cigarette. Some want a last meal. I want a last fuck with my wife.