Page 35

As far as Kara and Vahn could tell, Rocky’s pack consisted of five or six hound-beasts. But they stayed within the forest so it was hard to know for sure. Occasionally there would be a chorus of howls from the trees which Rocky would answer, as if reassuring them everything was fine. But after that first time they made no effort to approach the camp.

Kara told Vahn the story of how they’d found Rocky as a puppy, a scrap of fur close to death. How he’d been their constant companion until Ela shot him with her blaster after the Vraxians had found them.

“He must have searched for us when he woke up,”

said Kara, fondling his ears. “Went back over the hills and found a pack instead, then brought them here.”

“It is fortunate he remembered us.”

“Yeah. He’s got a better memory than you,”

she teased.

Vahn resumed his preparation of the rabbit.

“Maybe I will never get my memory back,”

he observed mildly. “Have you thought about that?”

Kara ducked her head so he wouldn’t see her expression.

“Cross that bridge when we come to it,”

she said lightly.

She spent the rest of the day showing him some of the places which had become important to them. The small circle of stones which had marked their sparring arena. The hollowed out tree trunk where they placed things for safe-keeping. The flat rock overhanging the river where they would sit for hours dangling fishing lures.

“The first meal you ever made me was seared fish,”

she recalled. “We were still on the other side of the hill at that point. Everything was just dust or bones. Then the heavens opened and the planet came back to life. It was a miracle.”

Vahn looked out over the river, searching for some shred of familiarity. Rocky snuffled round his feet and he knew Kara was hoping the beast’s presence would help jog his memory.

But it was frustrating. His mind felt as if it was filled with pieces of a puzzle, some of which he recognized and some he didn’t, which he just couldn’t put together.

“May I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course.”

“When did we become more than co-survivors?”

“When did we start having sex, you mean?”

“If that’s how you wish to put it, yes.”

Kara hesitated, not sure where to start.

“The first time was when you were ill. Delirious. You grabbed me and, um, did things to me. Not horrible things,”

she added hurriedly as she saw his face. “You didn’t hurt me. But you, um, you were intimate with me. That was my first clue that you liked me.”

“Kara!”

Vahn was horrified. “I forced you?”

“It wasn’t like that. You weren’t doing it on purpose. And, well…”

she shrugged, embarrassed. “I liked it. Besides, you performed farnor so it’s all water under the bridge.”

“I am ashamed,”

he muttered, his scales darkening.

“Don’t be. The second time we made out, it was me coming onto you. I tried to make you kiss me.”

“You did?”

Vahn was fascinated. “And how did I respond?”

“You didn’t,”

Kara laughed. “You were a gentleman. But it didn’t last for long. We crossed the point of no return a short time later. Though it was a while before you could convince me it was kalehsh.”

“You did not believe in fate?”

“No, not then. But you believed enough for both of us.”

Vahn looked out over the river again. The two suns beat down and he knew it must be hot for the human, but she didn’t complain or ask to move into the shade. Beside him, Rocky lay down and put his head on his paws.

“When I had the flashback at the pool, it was the strongest one yet,”

he said slowly. Kara straightened. “But it was less of a memory and more of a… a feeling. About you.”

“What feeling?”

“It’s hard to explain. But Kara, these moments… they’re making everything harder.”

“What do you mean?”

He rubbed his face wearily.

“These little flashes of my past are agonizing. Knowing you and I have a history but not being able to remember… having all these complicated emotions about you but not knowing why… it is driving me to insanity. I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”

Kara’s heart chilled.

“You want to give up?”

“Maybe it would be for the best.”

She walked over to him and prodded him in the chest.

“Not acceptable. We can’t give up now.”

“You’re not the one whose mind is splintering,”

he said irritably.

“I know it’s hard. But we only have two days left. Please, Vahn.”

She looked at him imploringly. With a sigh, he coiled a serpetrus around her and lifted her so that her face was on a level with his. He gazed into her eyes, as rich and dark as the beans of the queran tree. So different to the bright yellow irises of his own people.

“Do you ever take no for an answer, human?”

“If the roles were reversed, you’d do the same for me.”

“I fear you’re on a hopeless quest.”

“I don’t care. You promised you’d try. Or does the word of a Zhaal mean nothing?”

He gritted his teeth.

“Fine. You have your two more days.”

Relief flooded through her. Before she really knew what she was doing, she flung her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.

“Thank you,”

she mumbled.

Vahn let her scent wash over him and knew he would never really have said no. He sighed ruefully and set her down.

They walked back to camp and roasted their game over the fire. They ate as dusk fell, sharing a loaf of Vraxian bread and washing it down with a couple of shots of melamak.

Rocky watched, ears pricked hopefully until Vahn relented and tossed him a leg. The hound-beast wolfed it down bones and all.

Then he got to all fours, stretched luxuriously, and trotted into the forest without a backwards glance.

“He’s checking on his pack,”

said Kara. “I keep forgetting he’s the leader.”

“No doubt they hunt at night. I am just thankful the beasts do not regard us as prey any longer.”

“Rocky used to hunt for us,”

Kara said. “He’d leave fresh little corpses right outside the tent. I’m surprised you don’t remember that, you stepped on them enough times.”

Vahn didn’t answer. He poked at the fire and Kara didn’t know if he was trying to cast his mind back or if he was just past caring.

Dread settled in her stomach. I can’t let him give up. I can’t.

But what if he was right? What if he never remembered, and all she was doing was damaging his mental health?

“I think I’ll turn in,”

she said at last. “I’m tired. Not used to all this fresh air.”

“I’ll follow shortly.”

This time he waited until he was absolutely sure she was asleep. Then he crept in and took his place as far from her as possible.

It made no difference. When he awoke in the early hours, they had once again gravitated towards each other. This time she was curled around him with her head on his shoulder.

He took a moment to examine her as she slept. It was strange how he no longer found her features disconcerting. Everything that was alien about her – her lack of scales, her smooth unprotected head, her otherworldly coloring – were now the reasons he enjoyed looking at her.

Her eyelids fluttered which he knew to be a sign of dreaming. Vraxians were incapable of this basic human function and he wondered what she was dreaming about. The fact that humans could experience vivid non-existent images whilst unconscious was endlessly fascinating to him.

When she murmured something unintelligible and shifted in her sleep, he took the opportunity to extricate himself.

He sat outside the tent and watched the sunrise.

Why had this happened to him, he brooded? Why would the gods grant him kalehsh and then remove his memory of it? Had they realized they’d made a mistake?

Perhaps he had only found kalehsh with Kara because they’d been marooned on a planet where they were the only two compatible beings. Perhaps, when they were rescued, the gods had decided to rectify the error and taken his memory of it.

But that wouldn’t explain his current feelings towards her. Try as he might to deny it, there was something about her that pulled at his very essence. And the longer he spent in her company, the more intense that connection became.

He thought of how close he’d come to poisoning her when he first awoke and a shudder ran down his spine. Thank Ayanlesh he’d failed.

He wondered when, exactly, his feelings towards her had changed. After the explosion he’d seen her only as an enemy. The idea that she meant anything to him was unfathomable. He’d been worried about how their kalehsh would be perceived, about how he’d be perceived if he allowed it to continue.

But everywhere she went, Kara inspired people. They liked her. Not the bigots or the extremists, certainly, but by and large she’d been accepted by Vraxians.

She was smart and resourceful, and she never admitted defeat. Even Ela, the fiercest soldier in the Empire, had warmed to her. And it was Kara’s influence that had allowed him to steer Vraxos to an unprecedented peace with the Terrans.

Drek’aa beresh. He’d come to Minerva-6 for the express reason of proving to Kara that their marriage was no longer viable. And instead he found himself pulled in the opposite direction.

He rubbed his face wearily. He needed to make a decision, and soon. A decision on his future and how he was going to live it.

And whether he wanted Kara to be a part of it.