Page 19 of Manhunt in the Narrows (Red Rock Murders #1)

Her heart hurt.

Along with the rest of her.

She could feel the pain rippling off Elias as he’d relived the last few memories of his dad.

It was a wonder he hadn’t let that loss corrupt him.

Turn him bitter and guarded. As she had.

How had he done it? How had he managed to keep himself grounded when all she’d wanted to do was run, to hide and forget all those broken pieces of herself?

Flecks of water caressed her face as they passed beneath a tendril of water snaking down the rock canyon wall.

He was going to make the people responsible for his father’s death pay.

Because Elias was the kind of man who never gave up on the ones he cared about.

He’d proven that coming after her, hadn’t he?

Loyal. Warm. Dependable. She wasn’t sure her ex had ever possessed those qualities, and maybe she’d blinded herself to the red flags.

Maybe her standards for affection had been so low that the small amount she’d received from her ex had felt like a privilege instead of a given, but that wasn’t the case anymore.

Elias had shown her that in the span of mere days as they’d worked together, survived together, saved each other.

It was in the way he’d treated her as an equal and trusted her experience.

How he’d let her take the lead and speak her mind.

Respect. He respected her, and the realization imbued her with a sense of power.

And desire. For possibility and change and…

hope. It was an odd feeling. The shift that came with looking toward the future instead of living in the past.

Her ex was still out there, though she’d been granted a divorce by the state considering law enforcement couldn’t find him.

He would always shadow her every thought, every choice, but she was so tired of letting him win.

And that was exactly what she’d done by running from Colorado after her release and the courts had settled on her wrongful imprisonment.

She’d let him win by giving up contact with her family, by pushing her away from her friends and her home, by not fighting back.

“I hope you find them. The people who killed your dad.” She meant it.

Wanting that closure for Elias, even though she couldn’t have it for herself.

To see her ex pay for what he’d done to her.

They were nearly through Wall Street Corridor.

The sun’s rays descended along rough outcroppings and sharp edges of the canyon wall.

Her body temperature dropped as they crossed into the shade, then immediately spiked entering the sunlight.

“I know what it’s like to not have closure. To wish you could change things.”

It wasn’t a great feeling, succumbing to a feeling created solely by a man determined to give up her entire identity for him. For nothing in return.

“You’ll get yours.” Elias’s confidence fought to soak into her, would if she let it, but she’d become all too accustomed to wearing a mask.

A thick layer of protection against any and all feeling.

It’d been the only way to get through those horrible months behind bars, to not hope.

But the federal agent at her side had slowly started dismantling the darkness she’d lived in these past few months.

Bringing with him a hint of light so small she hadn’t recognized it for what it was.

A raft. He winked at her. Still playful after everything they’d survived.

She hoped he never lost that ability. “It might not be today or next week, but sooner or later, he’s going to make a mistake.

People like your ex think too highly of themselves.

Think they’re smarter than the rest of us.

Most of the time to their own downfall.”

Why did she get the feeling Elias would ensure her ex’s arrest if given the opportunity?

Sayles didn’t let herself follow that thought down the rabbit hole too much further.

If she was being honest with herself, the comparisons she’d drawn—between her ex and Elias—were another added layer of protection.

Trying to find similarities. A reason to shut whatever this was between them down before it had a chance to get under her skin.

But he’d saved her. When she’d had nothing more than a palm-size rock and a knowledge of the park to her advantage against the Hitchhiker Killer, he’d saved her where her ex had purposefully tried to destroy her.

And fear that had nothing to do with the trail and everything to do with that distinction slithered into awareness.

“I think I would like to see that.” Maybe she could somehow get a front-row seat in the courthouse. Just to watch her ex betray himself as effectively as he’d betrayed her. He deserved it. For what he’d done. For what he’d turned her into.

“Didn’t take you for the vengeful type.” Elias dragged his feet through the chilled waters rising to their calves, flashing her that smile quickly highlighting her days. “I like it.”

“Thanks. I think.” Her self-critic—moderately created by the man who’d framed her for murder—fought against that compliment.

If that was what it was. Sayles shut down the inclination to shrink.

Elias liked something about her, and the comment hadn’t come with a hint of sarcasm.

She…believed him. Maybe her willingness to watch her ex go down in flames of his own making wasn’t the only thing, either.

Wow. He’d really screwed her up, hadn’t he?

Convinced her she wasn’t worth complimenting, that she was nothing without him.

How was it even months later she was fighting against all these little mechanisms and habits she’d picked up to cope throughout her marriage?

Why couldn’t she just let it go? And why the hell couldn’t she give herself a break and accept it would take time?

“You good?” Elias tapped the back of his hand against her arm.

Bringing her back to the moment. Pulling her out of the spiral with mere touch.

Just as he had in the tent, dragging her body against his.

Giving her permission to use him in whatever capacity she’d needed to get through what they’d suffered.

It’d been enough. She’d dropped into unconsciousness within seconds with him pressed against her.

That was all it’d taken. Because she’d felt…

safe. For the first time in a long time, she hadn’t even thought about putting a weapon beneath her pillow or triple-checking the zipper on her tent.

She hadn’t startled awake in the middle of the night at the slightest sound that didn’t fit her surroundings.

There’d only been Elias, who’d held her throughout the night as though he’d needed her as much as she’d needed him.

And it’d felt right. Like a puzzle piece she’d been missing for months had finally clicked into place. “I’m good.”

And it wasn’t the same lie she’d been telling her fellow rangers or Risner or anyone else who’d bothered to check in out of a warped sense of obligation.

The heaviness she’d adapted to since leaving Colorado didn’t have the same hold on her as it had a few days ago.

Because of him. “Thinking about what happens after you catch this killer.”

“What do you mean?” Elias made a good effort to focus on the path he carved through the river.

“I mean you kissed me yesterday.” Tightening her grip around her pack’s straps, she tried to counter the ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. It was no use. “Do you normally go around kissing your partners during an investigation?”

“Grant hasn’t complained.” His laugh charged through her, sweeping the last remnants of apprehension from her veins.

He shook his head. “No. I don’t just go around kissing people on cases.

Though, can you blame me for wanting to kiss you?

You’re freaking formidable hanging off the edge of a cliff.

Anyone else in your position would’ve given up, but you fought. ”

She didn’t have an answer for that, but the beaten-down ghost of her past self preened.

Hell, she needed a life. Friends, hobbies, dreams—all the things her ex had systematically cut her off from.

Lila, her roommate, didn’t count, and could she really consider hiking the Narrows every weekend a hobby if it was technically her job?

As for dreams… It’d been a long time since she’d considered what would come next.

Since she’d allowed herself to hope it wouldn’t be taken away.

“Oh. Well, I haven’t…um, kissed anyone since…

before I was arrested. Or dated anyone. Or just generally given anyone the impression I am a nice person, but I want to know what you think it meant. ”

“You mean if I want to kiss you again.” Elias halted right there in the middle of the river. The mere words out of his mouth—the idea of his mouth on hers again—coiled something low in her belly. “Yeah. I think I do.”

“Why?” She hadn’t meant to ask, but there it was.

All of the doubt and self-hatred and disappointment in herself that’d built up since two officers had shown up at her door to arrest her for her ex’s murder.

Doubt that she’d make it through, self-hatred for staying with the bastard as long as she had and the disappointment for not seeing who he’d really been before it was too late.

A rawness spread through her. Why? Why did a man like Elias—tough-minded, accomplished and honor-bound—want anything to do with the hot mess in front of him?

He closed that short distance between them, looking far too put together than he deserved after what they’d survived. “You want to know what I see in you?”

Did that make her needy? Wanting to know who in their right mind would look at her and see something other than a broken thing that had no chance of living a normal life again? Her mouth dried.

“I see a woman who isn’t afraid to express her very strong opinions.

” His smile cracked another layer of armor she’d relied on over the past couple of years.

“You never seem to run out of energy, which makes me think you’re some kind of witch sent to put my outdoor skills to shame.

” Elias skimmed calloused fingertips along her forearm, then over the pulse in her wrist. The contact was enough to shove those fears back into the box at the back of her mind where they belonged.

“Despite the front you put on, I think you feel more than anyone else I’ve ever met.

You’re the kind of person who will never forget or forgive the slights against her, and I admire that about you.

I admire your outright determination to become someone you’re proud of, who will never take abuse or manipulation again and who will put herself at risk to protect others from suffering what you went through. ”

Six years of marriage and her ex had never bothered to really get to know her, but this man had somehow worked past her defenses. She couldn’t dislodge the swell of emotion in her throat. “You see all that after only two days together?”

“I saw it the moment I met you.” Dropping his hand from hers, Elias waited for her to make the next move. Choice. It was always a choice with him.

They were coming up on the four-mile point, a marker that should’ve taken no more than three and a half hours to reach on a good day, but the park itself seemed to be turning against them.

Not to mention the killer determined to escape.

Wynopits Mountain demanded attention over the wall of the canyon to the east. One mile more and they’d reach Big Spring, where the Narrows officially ended.

Where the Hitchhiker Killer had wanted her to take him, but her instincts told her there was something more to his final destination.

Not that he’d just wanted out of the park, but that there might be something there he needed.

“The killer—Patrick—wanted me to get him to Big Spring before the FBI could catch up with him.” Sayles swiped at her face with a renewed energy singing through her. Of possibility and hope. “I think we should get there first.”