Page 46 of Man Vs. Woman

Gossip Time, New York City!

Live from the Big Apple,it’s the show that has its finger on the pulse of the city…

Wake up! Get the husband to work! Send the kids to school.

Because it’s time for the dynamic duo and you to pull up a chair…

It’s Gossip Time, New York City!

Tristan:Hello, hello, New York City! Welcome to Gossip Time! I’m your host this morning, Tristan Manning!

Natalie:And I’m your co-host Natalie Bell! Yes, this is post-sex hair.

Tristan:That might also be post-sex Tristan dripping down your leg, Natalie...

Natalie:Does the cameraman get a raise or fired if he pans down there? Be brave, Ray!

Tristan:And as New York City stares at Natalie’s thighs, have we got a scoop for you today. It’s the biggest gossip since we found Snow White selling cocaine in Times Square.

Natalie:Seems like she got a raw deal...she has seven guys and they still make her work the corner? But it seems not just Tristan and I are entertaining New York City post fuck.

Tristan:That’s right. Looks like two of the three contestants for the Clarendon Tower flagship retail space on 57th and 7th are getting busy.

Natalie:NOT HIRAM HOOCKLESNICKERS!

Tristan:No, Natalie. Ew. I’m talking about billionaire bad boy Colt McCoy and the lovely spa-preneur, Serena James.

Natalie:See, I’d watch their sex tape, but I don’t think I like how you made up “spa-preneur” for her. So maybe I need to make one with Colt...except from everything we’ve seen, it looks like he only has eyes for his competition. Not Hiram Huckleberry. Ew.

Tristan:Well he better watch where his eyes go because our spies tell us that Colt leveraged everything he had for his flagship gym that he had to close after his unfortunate ejaculatory incident. I don’t know how much the banks will extend him leeway if Serena ends up getting the space and he’s left out in the cold.

Natalie:Yeah, and what an insult—unfortunate ejaculatory incident. Okay, I’ll stop laughing. But this doesn’t look good for either Colt or Serena, really.

Tristan:Although, if you’re facing bankruptcy, banging Serena James isn’t the worst way to go...

Natalie:Well I’m betting Serena doesn’t fuck with broke guys OR guys who talk about how hot she is on TV after they just had sex with Natalie Bell. Huff.

Tristan:Did you just say huff?

Natalie:Huff.

Tristan:Right. I think its time for a break, folks. When we come back, we’ll explore how a record number of wealthy New Yorkers have turned to inserting granola up their asses to protest the closure of Serena James’ spa. Who said New Yorkers didn’t care about anything?

:Cue commercial break: