Page 24 of Making Home with You (The Rockport Beach #3)

Sarah

I nearly slam into Finn with my heart racing so fast in my chest that I’m afraid he might feel it when he hugs me.

As I pull back, I ask, “What are you doing here?” But I’m breathless and I feel like he might misinterpret my need to get the hell out of here for something else. “I mean…” I say, smiling up at him, but everything about this moment is wrong.

I know Andrew is hot on my heels and will be hitting the lobby any second now, and having Finn see him, possibly meet him, is not at all how I wanted a surprise like this to play out.

I’m thrilled Finn is here right now, but it’s not coming across that way and I feel like a jerk.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter, linking my arm in Finn’s and leading him toward the door, but Finn stops me.

“Why are you sorry?” he asks, turning to me, his smile bold, as if seeing me is the best part of his day. “I’m the one who missed our lunch date, so I thought I’d surprise you for dinner.”

I love his surprise, but what I don’t love is the fact that my creeper boss is going to haul ass out of that elevator and attempt to diminish my career and my ability by saying something disgusting.

I have to get Finn out of here before it happens, and that’s when the elevator chimes out, and for some reason it’s the only thing I hear. Loud and clear, and it stops me in my path, but luckily the lobby is busy and the crowd that exits is moving in a herd.

“Thank you, dinner would be amazing,” I say, but it comes out in rush and again my heart is racing. I know Andrew is in that crowd and I can’t let him reach me.

What he said to me as I was leaving tells me that this is leading to exactly where I thought it would, and fuck me, if I’ll ever be a part of something like that.

I move Finn along, quickly, hoping to not only avoid the crowd that is now moving to the doors, but to avoid the parting of the crowd and the revealing of Andrew.

Finn’s hand is on my lower back as he guides me through the open doors and out onto the sidewalk.

But before we turn and walk away from the building, I look back over my shoulder.

And there, right behind Finn, is Andrew.

He glares at me, his jaw set in a firm line as he slowly shakes his head at me, and I’m trying to figure out if he’s angry at me for leaving with Finn or if the shake of his head is an admonition to keep my mouth shut.

I whip around quickly and speed up my pace.

I can’t believe I am letting this sleazebag affect me like this, my heart pulsing loud and fast in my ears.

It feels like it’s strangling me, and for a second I wonder if I should tell Finn.

He could end all of this for me, but Andrew could also end my idea of ever getting another job in the industry.

How the hell did I end up here?

This is what money, power and privilege looks like, and this is what it feels like when you have it dangled over your head, used against you and backed into a corner. This is the reason Andrew has gotten away with this for so long. He has all the power in the world and I have nothing.

I ask Finn if we can just head back to Rockport rather than having dinner in Boston, and he agrees despite the disappointment I hear in his voice.

While Boston is a large city, the irrational part of me worries that by staying I could run into Andrew, or even worse, what if he followed us. I know how ridiculous it sounds as it plays out in my head, but it still somehow scares the shit out of me.

Would he stalk me? Is he capable of something like that? Am I overthinking this? I’m just a fucking glorified errand girl at this company. Why do I even matter?

I’m quiet too long, my eyes trained on the slow passing cars of the highway, and Finn rests his hand on my thigh.

“You okay?” he asks, but his brow is wrinkled and I swallow back the heartburn I feel race its way up into my throat.

I should tell him I’m not okay, but I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.

Because again, it’s nothing.

It’s just words. Andrew hasn’t done anything more and I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested. Maybe I just need to be more assertive?

But even more than my situation weighing heavy on me, so is Finn’s. I worry about his job, his anxiety over what is happening to him. I worry that bearing my soul will only add more to his already full plate.

So I keep quiet.

“I’m okay,” I respond, nodding my head and his wrinkled forehead relaxes, but the tension in the car remains thick. We both know there’s something up, but neither of us says a word.

It’s late by the time we make it back to Rockport, because while the commute by train is brutal and long, the commute by car is longer. It’s arduous, and mentally taxing, slow moving and boring. And when it hit the two-hour mark we both knew there would be no relaxing quiet dinner.

The exhaustion we both try to filter from our faces is still there, heavy and visible in every dark circle and wrinkle, and in every word neither of us says.

We slide into a booth at O’Loughlin’s and I know this isn’t what Finn had in mind when he showed up at my work asking to take me to dinner.

Beck is behind the bar and there’s a cute little waitress hustling around to the few tables that are filled and she greets us with a smile and two menus.

“Hi, Finn,” she says, and her voice is a little high, but she’s not flirting with him. “I hope you’re doing okay.”

He nods in response to her and it takes me a second to realize she’s taken his side in all of this. This is fucking small town bullshit, and people are choosing sides.

She damn well better be on his side, if there’s even a side to take since I don’t really know what’s going on. But she works at the bar he owns, and then I begin to wonder if anyone has quit since this whole thing started up.

I glance around the room and it’s slow, but there are still customers. I know this shit that is going down could not only ruin Finn’s career, but now I realize that it could also take the bar down with it.

People are petty, and when they get something in their head, they’ll stop at nothing to get what they want.

Do people want Finn fired? Do they want to see their local watering hole go under? For fuck’s sake my brother would lose his job. Beck would lose everything.

Oh my god, I’m fucking out of control.

I need a Xanax.

I grab for the water glass the waitress set down, and chug it, but Finn is watching me.

“You going to order?” he asks, and he’s smiling, but it’s forced and I know he can sense my anxiety. He looks at me like he’s trying to read my thoughts and I curse myself for having the worst poker face in the world.

I notice the waitress is waiting on me and luckily I know this menu like the back of my hand, but for all I know she has been waiting on me for a while. So I order quickly and Finn and I get back to sitting in silence.

I know he doesn’t need to talk to me. He’s the type who could sit silently for hours and not feel uncomfortable, but I’m not and the stillness of everything is killing me.

But it’s Finn who’s the first to break through, telling me, “There’s someplace I’d like to take you when we’re done here if you’re up for it.” And this time when he smiles at me it’s genuine.

I love a good surprise, and I’m intrigued by his comment. It quiets the chaos in my head and he reaches across the table, taking my hand in his.

“Okay,” I say, smiling back at him, returning his enthusiasm that seems to have grown at my response.

The conversation comes easy now and we chat about how Finn used to have a cat named Lisa, named after Kelly LeBrock’s character from Weird Science because besides his mother, she’s the only girl he’s ever loved.

His story makes me laugh, even down to the moment when he admits to me that Lisa is stored in his garage in a silver urn.

He watches me wipe the tears from my cheeks, his face still lit up from our conversation, and he pauses for a second, and then opens his mouth but says nothing.

He shakes his head, his smile growing, and he says, “God, Sarah, you make things so fucking simple, so easy.” But I get this feeling that wasn’t what he wanted to say.

“So do you,”

We leave the bar hand in hand, and the air is cold so I lean into Finn’s side. Even with the nagging feeling that I have to return to work tomorrow, I feel happy. I’m happy just being around Finn.

We climb into Finn’s SUV and without telling me where we’re going, we leave and heads toward the water. Pulling off to the side of the road, he shifts the car into park and flips off the headlights.

Everything around us is dark, and when I look out the windshield, the ocean looks like a black abyss, endless and cold. But even with the cold chill of the wind and shore of the frozen sea, there’s a warmth and comfort in what we are doing.

“Put your hat on,” Finn commands and I smirk at him.

“Why?”

“Because I told you to.”

“I don’t do everything I’m told,” I flirt back and Finn grabs my hat and slips it onto my head.

“Now, put your seat back,” Finn simply states, but it’s more of a demand than a request and again I smirk at him.

“You’re being a little bossy, aren’t you?”

He narrows his eyes at me, but the cheeky smile on his face gives away that he loves this banter between us.

“Just do it, Sarah.”

And when I don’t move, Finn reaches across me and presses the button, my seat moving back now, but Finn’s body is still resting against mine.

As he pulls away his lips brush mine, teasingly and this time when my heart starts racing I don’t want it to stop. But he doesn’t kiss me, letting his thumb drag along where his lips once were and everything in me is screaming for him.

I had no idea that just being this close to him, his teasing and the light touch of his skin to mine would elicit these feelings. And when he runs his hand up the inside of my thigh, my body squirms in response.

“Just wait till we get home,” Finn murmurs, his mouth next to my ear, and his voice deep, “But for now just look up.”