Page 52 of Making Home with You

I’m thrilled Finn is here right now, but it’s not coming across that way and I feel like a jerk.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter, linking my arm in Finn’s and leading him toward the door, but Finn stops me.

“Why are you sorry?”he asks, turning to me, his smile bold, as if seeing me is the best part of his day.“I’m the one who missed our lunch date, so I thought I’d surprise you for dinner.”

I love his surprise, but what I don’t love is the fact that my creeper boss is going to haul ass out of that elevator and attempt to diminish my career and my ability by saying something disgusting.

I have to get Finn out of here before it happens, and that’s when the elevator chimes out, and for some reason it’s the only thing I hear.Loud and clear, and it stops me in my path, but luckily the lobby is busy and the crowd that exits is moving in a herd.

“Thank you, dinner would be amazing,” I say, but it comes out in rush and again my heart is racing.I know Andrew is in that crowd and I can’t let him reach me.

What he said to me as I was leaving tells me that this is leading to exactly where I thought it would, and fuck me, if I’ll ever be a part of something like that.

I move Finn along, quickly, hoping to not only avoid the crowd that is now moving to the doors, but to avoid the parting of the crowd and the revealing of Andrew.

Finn’s hand is on my lower back as he guides me through the open doors and out onto the sidewalk.

But before we turn and walk away from the building, I look back over my shoulder.And there, right behind Finn, is Andrew.He glares at me, his jaw set in a firm line as he slowly shakes his head at me, and I’m trying to figure out if he’s angry at me for leaving with Finn or if the shake of his head is an admonition to keep my mouth shut.

I whip around quickly and speed up my pace.I can’t believe I am letting this sleazebag affect me like this, my heart pulsing loud and fast in my ears.It feels like it’s strangling me, and for a second I wonder if I should tell Finn.He could end all of this for me, but Andrew could also end my idea of ever getting another job in the industry.

How the hell did I end up here?

This is what money, power and privilege looks like, and this is what it feels like when you have it dangled over your head, used against you and backed into a corner.This is the reason Andrew has gotten away with this for so long.He has all the power in the world and I have nothing.

I ask Finn if we can just head back to Rockport rather than having dinner in Boston, and he agrees despite the disappointment I hear in his voice.

While Boston is a large city, the irrational part of me worries that by staying I could run into Andrew, or even worse, what if he followed us.I know how ridiculous it sounds as it plays out in my head, but it still somehow scares the shit out of me.

Would he stalk me?Is he capable of something like that?Am I overthinking this?I’m just a fucking glorified errand girl at this company.Why do I even matter?

I’m quiet too long, my eyes trained on the slow passing cars of the highway, and Finn rests his hand on my thigh.

“You okay?”he asks, but his brow is wrinkled and I swallow back the heartburn I feel race its way up into my throat.

I should tell him I’m not okay, but I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.

Because again, it’s nothing.

It’s just words.Andrew hasn’t done anything more and I’ve made it clear that I’m not interested.Maybe I just need to be more assertive?

But even more than my situation weighing heavy on me, so is Finn’s.I worry about his job, his anxiety over what is happening to him.I worry that bearing my soul will only add more to his already full plate.

So I keep quiet.

“I’m okay,” I respond, nodding my head and his wrinkled forehead relaxes, but the tension in the car remains thick.We both know there’s something up, but neither of us says a word.

It’s late by the time we make it back to Rockport, because while the commute by train is brutal and long, the commute by car is longer.It’s arduous, and mentally taxing, slow moving and boring.And when it hit the two-hour mark we both knew there would be no relaxing quiet dinner.

The exhaustion we both try to filter from our faces is still there, heavy and visible in every dark circle and wrinkle, and in every word neither of us says.

We slide into a booth at O’Loughlin’s and I know this isn’t what Finn had in mind when he showed up at my work asking to take me to dinner.

Beck is behind the bar and there’s a cute little waitress hustling around to the few tables that are filled and she greets us with a smile and two menus.

“Hi, Finn,” she says, and her voice is a little high, but she’s not flirting with him.“I hope you’re doing okay.”

He nods in response to her and it takes me a second to realize she’s taken his side in all of this.This is fucking small town bullshit, and people are choosing sides.