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Chapter Ten

C orie

My heart is racing as I pull out of the parking lot. My hands are fisted on the steering wheel at ten and two, and I feel like I did the day I took the driver’s license test. I don’t look in the rearview mirror to see if Knox is watching me. Something in my gut tells me that he is.

I turn left out of the lot as if I’m going home, but at the stop sign, I turn left again instead of right.

I can’t go home right now. I need to cool off.

If I walk into the house all hot and bothered over my brother’s best friend, he will know something is up.

Instead, I drive a few blocks and pull into the grocery store's parking lot. I park my Jeep Grand Cherokee in the back aisle since I don’t plan on getting out, put it in Park, and reach for my phone.

My hands tremble slightly as I swipe to unlock the screen and pull up Sloane’s contact. The call rings through my car’s speakers, and I drop my phone into the cupholder to grip the steering wheel again. I need to do something with my hands.

“Hey, you tell me you have good news.”

Even with the turmoil churning inside me, I smile. “I got the job,” I tell her, happiness and relief washing over me.

“Whoop! That’s my bestie!” she cheers.

“I know. I start Monday. Nothing like diving right in.” I laugh.

“That’s great, Corie. I’m so excited for you and even more proud. Now, tell me, what else is going on?”

My best friend knows me too well. I don’t bother denying it. “I kissed him.”

“Kissed who, and was he hot?”

“Knox.” I let his name hang between us, but not for long because once what I’ve said registers, Sloane is cheering through the line.

“Knox Beckett? The quarterback for the Nashville Rampage? The object of your desires for the past, what, four? Five years? That Knox Beckett?” She asks the question despite already knowing the answer.

“Knox Beckett, my brother’s best friend. Knox Beckett, my brother’s teammate, and let’s not forget now, my coworker.”

“Details, Corie. Now. Spill.”

So, I do. I tell her what happened, how he was there as I was leaving, and I was so overwhelmed with gratitude, I lost my head and ran to him, and then I kissed him.

“Wait. It sounds as though it was just a peck on the lips, and an even faster one on the cheek.”

“It was.”

“Damn, Corie, you got me all excited for nothing.”

“What do you mean? I kissed him, Sloane.”

“I would not call that a kiss. Sure, your lips touched his, but it was innocent enough. Why are you freaking out?”

“His hand was gripping my ass.”

“I’m still trying to find the problem,” she says, and I can hear the humor in her voice.

“Sloane,” I whine.

“Fine. I get it, but, Corie, you’re an adult. Knox is an adult. The chemistry between the two of you has been building for weeks.”

“If you only knew,” I mutter under my breath.

“Hold up. What am I missing?”

I’m quick to reply, “Nothing,” and then say, “A few things,” just as quickly. I then begin to word vomit and catalog every encounter, every touch between us since I’ve been home from college. By the time I finish, Sloane is speechless, and Sloane is never speechless. “Say something.”

“Shhh,” she says. “I’m living vicariously through you in my mind.”

“Stop.” I chuckle. “This is serious. What do I do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I can’t go around kissing my coworker who is already entwined in my life in other ways.”

“Why not?”

“Sloane!”

“I’m just saying. You’re both consenting adults, and there is obviously something there.”

“He’s a professional football player. He’s never been rumored to date anyone, and he has gorgeous women tossing themselves at him everywhere he goes.

He’s out of my league. Besides, I’m not dating.

I need to focus on my job and get my own place.

” I pause before adding. “I’ve trusted the wrong man in the past. Conner wasn’t nearly as high profile as Knox. ”

“First of all, you can fuck right off talking like that about my best friend. I don’t care who he is, but no one is out of your league. We all put our damn pants on the same way, and his farts still smell like shit,” she says, and I can’t stop the giggle that escapes my lips.

“Second, Conner is in a league of his own. There were red flags for days. He lied to you. He was a smooth-talker and a cheater. There is no comparison between the two. Knox is a good man. You know him. He’s not some slimy ass who picked up the intern and manipulated her.”

“I was lonely,” I say. It’s the first time I’ve ever admitted that out loud.

“I saw the red flags, and I just didn’t care.

Not really. I didn’t sleep with him because of it, but he was in my world.

Kind of. He didn’t need to get close to me to get close to my brother.

He already had high-profile clients. I wasn’t being used by him. ”

“Okay, he didn’t use you, but he cheated on you.”

“That was my fault because I wasn’t sleeping with him.”

“What held you back? The two of you dated for what, six months?”

I don’t have to think about my answer. “No chemistry. I didn’t feel that connection with him, but like I said, I was lonely, working all the time, and it felt like he was close enough to my world, to my brother’s world, that he would be a safe bet.”

“And Knox?”

“Doesn’t feel like a safe bet.”

“Because you like him.”

I hesitate. “Maybe.”

“I believe the word you are looking for is yes,” she teases.

“He’s coming over tonight for dinner. All of them are.

What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to just ignore that he held me in his arms and that I felt him between my thighs?

How do I pretend like, even though briefly, my lips pressed to his didn’t set mine on fire? I’m not an actress, Sloane.”

“Easy, you just do. You be you and see how he acts. Take it one day at a time.”

“Will you come over? I can’t be there by myself. You’ll be my buffer.”

“When?”

“Now? I’m sitting in the parking lot of the grocery store. I needed a minute before going home to face my brother.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Corie.”

“Then why does it feel like I did?”

“Because this is big. It’s bigger than anything else you’ve ever had in a relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” I remind her.

“Not officially,” she coos.

“Sloane,” I say with a groan.

“Fine. I’ll stop. I’m leaving my place now, and I’ll meet you there. Just go with the flow and see what happens.”

“That could land us both in some really hot waters,” I tell her.

“Yeah, but you’d be in those waters together, and as long as you exit simultaneously, it will all work out.”

“I wish I had your confidence.”

“I hate that he took that from you. That he made you lose your trust in yourself. You didn’t choose Conner, Corie. He chose you, and you rode the wave. This is different. You’re choosing Knox, whether you’re willing to admit it or not.”

She’s right, I know she is, but that doesn’t change the fact that this—whatever this is between Knox and me—is all kinds of twisted and forbidden in so many ways. “I’ll see you soon,” I tell her.

“I’ve got you,” she assures me before the line goes silent. I take a deep breath, pull back on the road, and head home. I don’t know what this night will bring or how I’m going to pretend that this connection we have isn’t driving me insane, but somehow, I’ll figure it out.

I have to.

When I make it home, Landry is already on the back deck, heating the grill.

I go upstairs to my room to change and then busy myself in the kitchen, making some mixed vegetables with Mrs. Dash seasoning and some macaroni and cheese to go with dinner.

I try to find something to make for dessert to keep myself occupied, and come up empty.

Thankfully, Sloane is here with me, so we can use the excuse that we’re talking instead of joining the others outside on the patio.

“Maybe he’s not going to show,” Sloane says, keeping her voice low. “You got QB1 for the Rampage running scared,” she teases, knocking her shoulder into mine where we stand side by side at the kitchen island.

“That’s not a good thing. He’s probably avoiding me at all costs after I threw myself at him,” I tell her.

“Nah, Corie girl, never,” a deep voice answers. My head whips around to find Knox standing in the doorway with boxes in his hands.

“Didn’t think you were going to make the call, Mr. Beckett,” Sloane teases him, saving me by ignoring the fact that Knox overheard me.

“I had a stop to make.” He nods to the boxes in his hands. “We can’t celebrate our girl here without a sweet treat.”

Sloane’s smile is so huge, I think they can see it in space. “Interesting. Our girl was just saying she wished she could make something for dessert.”

My eyes move from my best friend to Knox, and our gazes collide.

“They were sold out of cinnamon roll croissants,” he tells me as he places the four boxes on the island.

“I bought everything they had left. I figured I was bound to get something you liked that way.” It’s such a sweet gesture, and my heart races because he thought of me, and I’m blushing.

I don’t have to look in a mirror to know.

I can’t seem to help myself. When he’s around, I can’t control it.

“Oh, she likes all the sweets,” Sloane tells him helpfully. “But Boston cream donuts are her other favorite.”

Knox winks at me. “Noted.”

Sloane elbows me and clears her throat. “Thank you for these. That was really sweet.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a Boston cream.” He lifts the lids of the boxes until a triumphant smile lights up his face. He plucks the donut out of the box, tears a paper towel off the roll on the counter, and hands it to me. “Time to celebrate you, Corie girl.”

“I’ll save it for after dinner.”

“Beckett, I thought you were going to be boring and stay home,” Reid says, stepping into the house. “Ladies, Landry says the meat is done.”

“Thanks, Reid.” I smile. “Can you tell him to bring it inside so everyone can make their plates? There’s no point in carrying all of this out there.”