Page 2 of Make Me (Immortal Vices and Virtues: All Hallows’ Eve #1)
Her head tilts slightly. “What kind of nerve?”
“I’ve been thinking about going back to the fae world even though?—”
She chokes on air, her face going pale. “You’ve what now?”
“I’m not actually going to,” I tell her with a grin. I never thought I’d see the day that this woman gave a damn about anyone other than herself and her secrets, but love sure does look good on my best friend.
“I’ll stop interrupting now.” Spencer settles and waves a hand for me to proceed.
“Only if you’re sure,” I tease, and she gives me a glare that’s savage enough to cut anyone weaker to their core. “Right. So, as I was saying, I briefly thought about going back to Avalon. Then, I remembered why I left and decided that was a terrible idea.”
I pause, allowing Spencer to ask the question I fully expect. “I don’t think you’ve ever told me why that was. Maybe you’re feeling up to it now?”
“Well, I’m not really wanted there.”
She scoffs. “That’s impossible. You’re the nicest, scariest fae I’ve ever met—and Sin lives there. You two are still close even though you don’t see each other as much, right?”
She’s correct. I still adore Sin, and I know she cares about me even if having a new mate has kept her busier than normal. It’s not her fault I refuse to visit. But having a friend there doesn’t solve my problems.
“Don’t forget, there isn’t only fae blood running through me,” I remind Spencer. “I’m also half wolf shifter.”
Her mouth forms an O. “Is that why you left? Did someone force you out? If so, I’ll strangle them with my bare hands without breaking a sweat.”
I laugh, the sound a little hollow. “Yes and no. My mother cheated on her mate, and I was the result of that infidelity. Both men ended up abandoning her, and she made sure I always knew I was the reason she was miserable. Especially after the first time I shifted.”
“You can shift? ” Her eyes widen, shimmering with something suspiciously close to hurt. “Why haven’t you ever run with us?”
“Because I committed the ultimate betrayal to my wolf,” I admit, doing my best not to let the tears burning in my eyes fall down my cheeks. “I bound her and tried to pretend I wasn’t the black stain on my mother’s life that she made me feel I was.”
Spencer’s chest rumbles, the sound pure rage. “I know you said we weren’t going to kill anyone, but…” she mutters, barely holding herself back.
I place a hand on her leg, attempting to settle her and myself. “I left that world behind a long time ago, Spence. And I intend to keep it that way.”
This time, I mean it. No more crazy ideas about going back to the fae.
“I’ve just been lonely,” I admit reluctantly. “And sometimes I wonder if maybe I left my fated mate back in the past. Then this invitation shows up—using my true fae name—and it got under my skin.” I force a shaky smile. “But it’s fine. I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now.”
My gaze drifts instinctively to her stomach. There’s no way I’m missing the birth of my niece or nephew, or missing the chance to watch them grow up. Something I’d failed to take into consideration before, but that won’t happen twice.
That would hurt worse than any loneliness ever could.
Spencer’s glare returns full force. “Don’t you dare use me as an excuse not to live your life.”
I snort, but she isn’t done.
“I will cut you quicker than you can blink. You deserve happiness too, but before we circle back to that.” She points dramatically at the crumpled invitation in my hand. “You better spill before I rip that thing out of your fingers. What’s your fae name?”
I groan loudly, knowing that denying her is futile. “Don’t laugh.”
She raises her palm. “On our friendship.”
Here goes nothing. “Kamishola Havensflint.”
Spencer’s smile goes wide. “That’s a beautiful name. A mouthful, but beautiful nonetheless. As is Kasha Flinn. I like that you kept pieces of your true self.”
“Not all of them.” I frown and look away from her. “Maybe I’ll never find my mate because of what I did to my wolf.”
“Nonsense.” She grabs my hands and squeezes them tightly. “If you want to free your wolf, I bet Natalia can help you.”
I’ve considered asking the witch more times than I care to count, but shame is a powerful and suffocating thing.
Spencer waggles her brows at me. “Maybe you’ll find your mate at this party. I heard Vaelora invited more than just the residents of Crossroads.”
Of course she did. She’s trying to make a spectacle of herself, and she won’t stop until everyone knows her name.
“Are you guys going?” I have no desire to, no matter who’s on the guest list, but if Spencer’s already decided, I might not have a choice.
She shakes her head. “I thought about it, but Drake and I already made plans tonight, and I’ve canceled on him twice thanks to this little pup making me nauseous.” Her palm covers her stomach again, and a longing unlike anything I’ve ever known slams into me.
Damn it . What’s wrong with me lately? I’m going to blame Bruno. I’d been on a dry spell then Raegan and Clara hooked me up with their cousin… It was all downhill after that night and not in the fun way.
“You should go,” Spencer adds, slicing right through my internal panic-induced spiral.
“Absolutely not.” I shake my head so swiftly it’s a miracle my neck doesn’t snap. “I won’t give Vaelora the satisfaction.”
Spencer lifts an eyebrow—a look that always spells trouble for me. “But you not showing up?” she says sweetly. “That’s basically telling her she has so much power over you that her existence alone can keep you from the hottest party of the year.”
I scowl. “I really don’t like you.”
She grins wickedly and grabs my hand. “Yet, you keep coming back for more. Show her she doesn’t matter. Go. Meet someone new. You never know. It might end up being the best night of your life.”
Or it might end in a spectacular, fiery disaster, knowing my luck.
“We’ll see,” I mutter, standing up and pulling her with me. “How about that lunch you promised?” I add, needing a distraction before I agree to something beyond stupid.
Spencer chuckles as she leads me toward the kitchen. “I’ll feed you. But we’re not done with this conversation.”
Yeah, I didn’t think we were.