Page 18 of Magic & Matchmaking (Moonflower Witches)

Chapter Seventeen

EMMA

I swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks as I walked on the riverwalk next to Shrubble River. We’d had rain the last few days, so the water levels were higher than normal, and splashes of water sprayed the bottom of my skirt.

Of course Riven was going to leave. I’d known from the beginning he was only here temporarily. This wasn’t his home, not like it was mine. It was a place he visited when he needed a break. His real life wasn’t here. It was out in the world. Without me.

That had been why I’d spent so many years denying that I had feelings for him.

I knew it wouldn’t work. Then he’d kissed me, and I’d lost all sense.

I’d started to believe that maybe we could figure something out.

But what solution could we possibly have when his life was out there and mine was here, in Thistlegrove?

Tears blurred my vision, and I bumped into someone, both of us falling on the path. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said, coming to a stand and pawing at the tears.

“It’s okay.” A feminine voice with a thick accent spoke, and I looked up. She had long black hair that flowed down to her waist and dark brown skin the color of russet. It was Sarise.

“I’m late,” she said. “I was supposed to meet Layla at the tavern. Thank you for introducing us, by the way. She’s so lovely.”

I sniffled, glad she hadn’t noticed I was crying. “Well, I didn’t do much. Just hosted the event. It’s a tradition at the tea shop.”

“Yes, I’ve been to many of them across the realm. Every time I come to a new city, I love to meet a new partner, have fun, and then I’m off again.”

I frowned, my stomach dropping. “You aren’t looking for a relationship?”

“Oh goodness, no.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “How could I have a relationship when I’m always traveling? Unless my partner was able to travel with me, and not many want that lifestyle. I don’t even know if I would want that anyway. I like my life the way it is. Fun, easy, uncomplicated.”

“Right.” Her words burrowed deep, digging into the wound already festering in my heart. She lived the same type of life as Riven. He’d never even said he wanted a relationship. He said he had feelings for me, that he had so much fun with me, but that wasn’t the same as wanting a life with me.

My chest tightened.

“Are you okay?” Sarise put a hand on my arm. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

“No. You go. Don’t want to keep Layla waiting.”

She nodded, looking unsure, but turned. I groaned as she walked off down the path and out of view. I was going to have to tell Layla. I’d encouraged her to get to know Sarise, and now I’d have to let her know that Sarise wasn’t interested in anything more than a fling.

Riven was leaving, Steeped in Love still didn’t like me, and I was going to be responsible for Layla’s heart breaking. Suddenly everything seemed so impossible. I let out a sob, then tripped over a rock, and stumbled straight toward the river.

I let out a shriek as I braced myself to be swept away when a hand grabbed my arm.

“Emma!”

A strong arm pulled me in, crushing me to a very familiar chest.

And I lost it. I sobbed into my father’s tunic, big heaping sobs that made my shoulders shake as tears soaked his orange shirt .

“Emma bear, what’s wrong?” He pulled me away from the river and toward a set of stone pillars that travelers often sat on to rest or to take in the view of the river and the fields beyond.

“I’ve made a mess of everything.” I wiped at the tears streaming down my cheeks. “The tea shop hates me,” I admitted. “The plan with Riven didn’t work.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” My father patted my knee.

“And I don’t blame it. I’m not good with my own love life, and I’m certainly not good with anyone else’s.”

My father was silent for a moment, staring at the rushing river in front of us. The sinking sun cast a golden sheen over the top of the water. “Does this have anything to do with Riven?”

I stiffened. “I told you our plan didn’t work. The fake relationship. The tea shop knows we’re not real.”

That must have been why it was still attacking me. Even when I thought real feelings were growing between us, it knew otherwise.

“You’re not happy,” my father said.

I turned to him, a laugh escaping me. “What clued you in?” I gestured to my tear-streaked face, my puffy eyes.

He laughed, too, and soon we both were laughing, until it turned into a hiccup, then a sob, and then I was crying again.

“Oh, Emma.” My father reached into the front pocket of his tunic and pulled out a handkerchief, dabbing at my cheeks.

That only made me cry harder.

“That’s not quite what I meant,” he finally said once my sobs quieted.

“About what?”

He ran a hand over his thinning grey hair. “I didn’t mean you’re not happy in this moment. Clearly you’re not, but I meant you haven’t been happy. In a long time.”

I swallowed, my throat going dry. “That’s not true. I love being here with you, working with you.”

“Maybe.” He tipped his head to the side, the light showing all the little wrinkles stretching across his forehead. “But it doesn’t mean you’ve been happy.”

“It’s a good life,” I protested.

“But is it the life you want for yourself?” he asked .

We’d never talked about this before, had a conversation about what I wanted for myself. What I wanted didn’t matter.

I opened my mouth, not sure what to say.

“Oh.” He put his head into his hands.

“Are you alright?” Panic spiked in me. “Is it your heart?”

“I’ve made such a mess of things,” he said.

“What are you talking about?” I tucked a stray curl behind my ear. “How have you made a mess of anything? All you’ve ever done is be there for me. You never had to. From the moment you came into my life, you acted like a father. Not like I was a burden or something to get rid of. You loved me.”

“Of course I did.” He stared at me in shock.

“Emma, I fell in love with you the moment I met you. You were such an inquisitive, kind, wonderful girl. I never had any choice in the matter. You looked up at me with those wide blue eyes, hair a mess, and asked why in the world I was wearing shoes at the river bank.”

I sniffled. I remembered. My mother and I often visited the riverbank to walk along the little beach.

We’d dip our toes in the water, slosh through the shallow parts, looking for colorful rocks and river glass.

I’d been horrified that my mother’s newest suitor was wearing shoes, worried that he’d be like all the other men my mother brought home that didn’t understand our rituals, our life.

“So you sat down,” I said, “and took your shoes off.”

“And I never looked back.” A soft smile tugged at his lips. “Emma, after your mother died, I fell apart.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

He waved away my words. “I let myself fall apart. I didn’t eat, I didn’t take care of myself.”

“You were grieving.”

He gave me an incredulous look. “So were you.”

My eyes welled with tears again.

“You sacrificed everything for me, and I let myself believe it was what you wanted. I let myself believe you were happy. That you needed me. Until Riven came.”

I stiffened.

“I’ve seen you two through the tea shop windows, walking around town. There is nothing fake about that relationship. ”

I hadn’t updated my father on anything that had happened between us. It was still so new, and we wanted to keep it to ourselves.

I shifted, hands twisting in my lap.

“You’ve sacrificed so much for me,” he said quietly.

He had it all wrong. He was the one who sacrificed for me and my mother. He gave us a home, he made us into a family.

“But no more sacrificing. Because that is what this has been. You need to live your life, Emma. Do what makes you happy.”

“What about you?” I burst out. “Who will make sure you take your medicine? Eat well?” I placed a hand on his chest. “Take care of your heart.”

“That’s not your job, dear girl, and I am beyond sorry that I ever made you feel like it was.

” His face filled with so much anguish at that my heart squeezed.

“I fell apart after your mother died, and then I had my heart attack, and you left the institute to take care of me. We fell into a rhythm that I got comfortable with. We both got comfortable. Too comfortable. But seeing you with Riven, the way your face lights up around him, seeing you going out and making friends...” His voice shook.

I thought of Layla and how nice it had been to get to know her.

“It’s been a joy,” he said. “I can take care of myself. I promise. I will take my medicine, I will learn how to cook myself healthy meals.”

“But I can do all of that,” I said.

“No,” he said, voice firm. “Not anymore. I am not your responsibility. You don’t owe me anything. I love you no matter what. No strings attached. No conditions. I love you because you’re my daughter.”

Tears filled my eyes for the millionth time that day. He roped me into a tight hug. “And I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.

I pushed back, wiping more tears with the sleeve of my dress. “I don’t even know what I want. I’ve never let myself dream of anything other than this life.”

“You did,” he said. “Once upon a time. You and Riven dreamed of a life traveling around the Witchlands, beyond, even. You talked about it all the time when you came from from the institute.”

“That’s not a job.” I grabbed his handkerchief and dabbed my eyes.

“You are smart, resourceful, and driven. You will find your path. And I have a feeling a certain bard will be more than happy to accommodate you until you do.”

My jaw locked. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” I thought of his tour. He hadn’t asked me to come. I wouldn’t invite myself and impose upon him like that. We were having fun these last few weeks, but I didn’t know if it meant anything more to him.

“So talk to him.”

“What about the tea shop?” I asked. “I can’t just leave it.”

“Do you want to run the tea shop? Is that your dream?”

I liked Steeped in Love. It was comforting. Comfortable. But that was it.

A knowing look flashed in his eyes. “You don’t have to decide anything today, but whether you stay in Thistlegrove or leave, I will no longer be the thing that holds you back.”

I nodded, and he slung an arm around my shoulder and drew me in, then pressed a gentle kiss to my head.

“Now we covered how you think you’ve ruined your own love life.” He paused. “But how do you think you’ve ruined someone else’s?”