Page 16 of Magic Betrayed (The Shifter of Sheridan Avenue #2)

SIXTEEN

I knew it was the right decision to wait. But I had to spend the entire rest of the day reminding myself why, so I didn’t go running off to Guthrie with nothing but rage and a pair of bolt cutters.

We needed the Tanner twins as a diversion, and no one went ghost hunting in daylight.

Callum couldn’t afford the scrutiny that would come with a daylight flight.

And we didn’t want any neighbors seeing what we were doing and calling human law enforcement, so we needed them to be asleep.

All very good reasons that did nothing to quell my sense of urgency.

The first thing I tried as a distraction was cleaning up the mess Ari’s legos had made of The Portal’s floor, though I left the house intact, just in case we needed it as a reference. Afterwards, I swept and mopped and wiped down the tabletops, then wandered into the kitchen looking for dirty dishes. I found Ari’s plate, washed it and put it away, and was considering scrubbing the stovetop when Faris walked in.

“Is it helping?”

I set down the sanitizer and the sponge and stretched out my back. “Well, it isn’t not helping,” I muttered. “Ari is with Kira, Callum is sleeping off his double shift, and I just needed to not be all up in my head.”

My boss regarded me with lips pursed, as if trying to make up his mind about something.

“Did Callum talk to you?”

“About…” I knew what he was asking. I just didn’t want to say it out loud in front of another person.

“About whether the two of you are going to continue living in denial,” he said bluntly.

Okay, fine, I guess we were doing this. “He brought it up.”

Faris grunted. “Good. I’m not here to pressure you for an answer. I’m sure he told you what’s at stake. I just thought…” He paused again and rubbed the back of his neck.

This hesitation was odd, coming from my normally straightforward boss.

Was he trying to warn me off? Tell me how inappropriate it was to even dream of being with Callum? “You can just say it.”

“I thought since you didn’t have any parents to tell you about this mate-bond stuff… that you might have questions.” He said it rapidly, not quite meeting my eyes.

Oh my heck. Faris was offering to have some Idrian version of the talk . This was awkward, not to mention unexpected. And I was pretty sure I’d never experienced anything so simultaneously heart-warming and embarrassing in my life.

“Bonds are all a bit different,” he hastened to add. “So I can’t give you specifics. But if there was anything you were worried about or wondering…”

“Is it awful?” I blurted out, in spite of my intention not to. “Knowing that someone can read your thoughts?”

Faris seemed to relax a little. As if he’d been afraid I would ask something a lot more personal.

“I’m not a shifter,” he pointed out. “So my bond with Morghaine is less intense. I can feel when she’s nearby, and I can tell when she’s happy or distressed or in danger. But she can read me more deeply, and no, it’s not embarrassing.” His arms folded and his head tilted back thoughtfully. “Maybe because we’re committed to each other, and nothing is going to change that. So the less that’s hidden, the closer we’re able to be. Same as with humans. Same as with every relationship.”

The less that was hidden…

I was still hiding things from Callum. If this bond between us grew too deep, too fast, he might learn too much. Might decide he didn’t want me after all, but then it would be too late. We would be bound together with no way to escape each other.

But if I just told him… He might walk away. And yet, wasn’t that what I’d always thought would be best for both of us? For him to return to the Shapeshifter Court, find a proper dragon for a mate, and not subject himself to judgement, derision, and rejection for choosing someone like me—a human and a fugitive from shapeshifter law.

I wanted him so badly. I wanted his warmth and caring and dedication. Wanted his fierce commitment to doing the right thing and protecting the things that mattered most. Choosing to deny those feelings wasn’t going to help either of us, but… Just because I wanted something didn’t mean it was right.

“I’m scared,” I said simply.

And Faris didn’t try to tell me not to be scared. He just nodded. Waited. Listened.

“I’m scared I’ll never be enough. I’m scared that I’ll drag him down. Scared that he doesn’t actually understand how… broken I am. I come with so much baggage, Faris. So many scars, so many bits and pieces of myself that may never quite be… normal . Some of these scars might never heal.”

He sighed and moved towards me, muttering under his breath about Irene and death threats before leaning back against the prep table and crossing his arms.

“You’ve met Morghaine.”

I had. “Once, in your office.”

“Do you know her story?”

“Only a little.” Kira had freed her in the broken world of Idria, but Morghaine had then sacrificed herself so Kira and Draven could escape. Only much later had they learned that she’d survived and been taken captive again by the fae.

“She was captured, tortured, and imprisoned for over eleven years,” Faris told me, his voice turned gravelly with emotion. “The former fae prince Llyr used her blood to construct deadly creatures of shadow that he sent against his enemies. One of them nearly killed Kira.”

The parallels with my own story were not lost on me.

“Her captors took her eye, one of her fingers, and even…” He stopped, and I could see him working to say the words. His eyes went red, and his voice shook with the pain. “They even took her wings.”

It punched me right in the gut. They’d cut off a dragon’s wings ?

“She’ll never fly again. Never see again. Sometimes she wakes up screaming from the nightmares.”

He’d earned his legendary distrust of the fae—about a million times over.

“I don’t love her scars, or what she went through to get them. If I could go back, undo her pain, or take it on myself, I would. But,” he said firmly, “I do love the woman that her life has made her. Exactly as she is. Her scars and her broken places are a part of who she is, and I have zero regrets about choosing to share a life with her.”

I was crying, too. How could I not?

“Talk to Callum,” he said. “He’s not a fool, and I’ve never known him to be unsure about what he wants. He thinks things through before he acts, considers all the consequences, and then moves ahead when he’s ready to accept them. He never would have told you about the bond unless he was certain.”

But how could he be so sure when there was so much he didn’t know? Even back when we’d first met, he’d decided to trust me on so little evidence. He’d admitted at the time that it was out of character for him. What if this was shapeshifter magic, causing him to act against his own convictions?

“There are secrets he doesn’t know. Things I haven’t told him.”

Faris just shrugged. “Then tell him. Let him decide.”

“And the Shapeshifter Court…”

My boss cut me off with a slash of his hand. “Don’t try to protect him from himself,” he warned me. “If you’re worried, tell him. If you’re scared, tell him. Talk about it. Don’t run from it and pretend it’s the noble thing to do.”

So apparently now Faris could read my mind too.

“I don’t know how,” I admitted helplessly. “I don’t know… if I can make myself that vulnerable.”

“Do you like my nephew?”

I liked him so much it scared me. Sometimes it seemed as if I’d begun to crave his presence like some sort of strange drug. I felt happy when he was with me, and cranky when he wasn’t. But that wasn’t the kind of thing I felt like I could tell my boss, and when I didn’t answer, he changed the question. “Do you trust him?”

Weirdly, that was easier. Now, as always, the answer was… “Yes.”

“Then trust him with the truth. That’s the only way to find out whether this will ever work. The only way to make a decision you won’t regret.”

He was right. I knew he was right. But there were too many other things in my mind and heart right now for that conversation to happen.

“Not today,” he added. “Today, let’s take care of business. And when everyone is safe, you two can figure this out.”

I let out my breath in a long sigh. This conversation hadn’t actually fixed any of my problems, but for some reason, I felt lighter.

“Thanks,” I said quietly. “You’re a good person, Faris. I don’t know why you chose us, but you did, and we’ll always be in your debt.”

“Don’t talk nonsense,” he growled, straightening and glaring at me in his usual patented style. “Now stop pretending to clean. You can stay in my office, or you can go home. We’ve fixed the lock on your apartment door, added alarms, and upgraded the cameras, so nobody is getting in there without me knowing about it. I suggest you go and get some rest before tonight.”

I threw in the towel—literally—and managed to hit the laundry hamper from halfway across the kitchen. A good omen, I hoped.

“Okay,” I conceded. “I’ll try.”

* * *

Spoiler alert: I failed.

Miserably. Spectacularly. Thoroughly. Pick your adverb.

I would have sworn the next five hours were actually five days. They contained multitudes—of worries, fears, memories, anxieties, and downright horrors. When I couldn’t sleep, I paced, and when I got tired of pacing through the haunted rooms of my apartment, I left and wandered the streets instead.

Was it safe? Possibly not. But I’d taken out five Idrian mercenaries, defeated the elemental queen, and survived multiple other attempts on my life. Callum seemed to think I was dangerous enough to give most other Idrians pause, and frankly, I was almost hoping someone would try me. At least if I was attacked, I wouldn’t have to spend the next few hours flailing around, feeling helpless and afraid.

It was late, but at least it wasn’t cold. Oklahoma weather in January could be anything from below zero to seventy-five, and for the moment, it had chosen to be a relatively pleasant temperature. But the decent weather meant there were others out sharing the sidewalks. I tried not to glare at everyone I passed, or let them see the turmoil eating me up inside, but I did notice a handful of pedestrians giving me a wider than normal bubble as we passed one another.

Myriad Gardens held too many memories and Bricktown was too busy, so I wandered north, and paused just outside the Oklahoma City National Memorial with its twinned bronze gates and reflecting pool.

Along the south side of the pool, the Field of Empty Chairs left a ghostly pattern of light and shadow—each chair representing a life lost in a moment that had carved indelible scars into the heart of this city.

Now, this was a place of quiet. Of remembrance. Of healing. One that honored both the dead and the living.

The scars were still there. The pain would never be forgotten. But the city was thriving. Growing. A testament to the resilience of its people and the power of community.

I wanted that same renaissance for myself. For Kes and for Logan and for Ari. But some days I doubted whether it was possible. Doubted whether we would ever be safe for long enough to heal. Doubted whether the dreams and the memories and the guilt would ever leave us.

From what Faris had said of Morghaine, perhaps they never would. But if there was one thing I recalled of the former dragon seneschal… she’d seemed to be at peace. Despite everything she had suffered, her life was not consumed by the pain.

Maybe… Maybe when this was all over, I could ask if she would be willing to talk to me. Maybe there was some sort of wisdom she could impart that would make all of this make sense. Tell me what I needed to do. Or even what I didn’t need to do.

After a while, my wandering feet continued north, where more people were gathered around the restaurants and pubs of Midtown. I wasn’t looking for noise, company, or alcohol, so I moved on until I crossed into Heritage Hills, where noise and chaos were banned, houses and lawns were pristine, and the sidewalks all but deserted.

It was here that I’d first met Leith—the siren king of the Wildkin Court. He was sly and enigmatic, with eyes that seemed to see right through me—eyes full of secrets and plots and a self-contained mirth that clearly frustrated Callum.

At the time, Callum had seemed disgusted by what the siren was capable of. Suspicious of his actions and his motives. Leith had appeared highly amused throughout our encounter and I wondered now, in hindsight… Had he known about my siren power all along? And when he first suggested a relationship between me and Callum, had he foreseen what that would bring about?

A few more blocks and I was in the neighborhood of Mesta Park, with its deeper shadows, a couple of barking dogs, and a few other dark figures out for a late night stroll.

I watched them carefully, but none of them even looked my way, let alone offered any threat to my safety.

It was on another lonely, late night walk that I’d caught my first glimpse of who Callum truly was. He’d followed me home and saved me from being beaten up by a gang of teenage bullies after I tried to save the kitten they’d been tormenting. They’d turned on me, and as a result, I’d shifted for the first time. It was the same night I’d betrayed my magic in front of the entire Portal. And the night I realized that Callum-ro-Deverin wasn’t nearly as scary as he pretended.

Oh, he could be scary enough if you were his enemy, or if you threatened anyone or anything he cared about. But when he chose to save that kitten, I knew—there was a soft and gooey center behind all that glaring and growling and bossiness.

I wondered where the kitten was now. Probably at his home in the Shapeshifter Court. I knew without needing to ask that he would never have abandoned her.

Another few blocks, and suddenly I was at Twenty-third Street, wondering whether Kira was asleep. Maybe I should just turn around and go back to my apartment. Or maybe if I kept wandering the streets long enough, the next few hours would pass and it would be time.

“Raine?”

The sound of my name in an unfamiliar male voice startled me into stopping and scanning my surroundings. There were two men on the sidewalk just down the block, but they were deep in conversation with one another. A woman in a long coat and heels stepped into the bar across the street, and two people got into a car at the corner. None of them appeared to have even noticed my existence.

But just ahead, parked along the curb, was a dark pickup truck with one door open and boots visible beneath the door.

“Raine, is that really you?”

I didn’t need my hunch magic to know that something wasn’t right.

My steps slowed, and I checked the traffic, hoping to dart across the street, but the boots stepped away from the truck, moving partially out from behind the door.

The wearer was male, and around my height. He seemed fascinated with something on the sidewalk, so the streetlight didn’t reveal much except brown skin, floppy dark hair, and a slight build.

He took a step towards me, but never moved fully out of cover. Then he said my name again.

“Raine. Don’t you remember me?”

He lifted his face. Looked me full in the eye.

Recognition shot through me like a spear of solid ice, piercing straight to my core and leaving me cold—cold with memories, with regret, and with terror.

“Ethan,” I whispered, and took an involuntary step back.

Something stabbed my leg. I slapped at it, felt something hard and cold, and looked down.

What the heck? I’d been shot with a tiny dart, like some kind of zoo animal they were trying to tranquilize.

Anger surged, and so did my fae magic, but even as it coursed towards my fingertips, it sputtered and died.

No. I would not allow myself to be powerless again. I reached for my elemental power, but could find no source of water and the effort created an instant, blinding headache. My siren magic screamed at me and I opened my mouth to call out for help, but my tongue didn’t seem to work. And when I tried to run, my body turned in two different directions and I simply fell over.

I landed on my knees on the sidewalk. Felt the concrete bite through my jeans. Everything was sideways. There were people coming towards me, but they had too many arms and legs.

I had just enough conscious thought remaining to realize the terrible truth—I was about to disappear, just like Kes and Logan and Ari. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.