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Kage’s voice forced a dark chuckle. “I think you and I know better.”

“Yeah, well. I doubt you’re calling at this time of night to reminisce about old times.”

I rubbed my jaw. “Your instincts are still on the money.”

“If that was true, our lives would be entirely different. What are you into?”

The debate on telling anyone about the mission had also weighed heavily on my mind. However, Kage had been forthcoming enough about the mission with which Gray had tasked him. If anyone could provide either advice or a clearcut warning, it would be him.

A man I’d learned to hate.

The irony was glaring.

“What do you know about Mercury Fulminate?”

He laughed. “That shit has been around since the eighteen hundreds. Rarely used because of its instability. But you already know that. Which means…” He hesitated. “Let me guess. The recent rumor mill is accurate.”

“Which is?”

“That some brilliant scientist figured out a way to stabilize various qualities, reshaping certain properties so the compound became more dangerous.”

“Where did you hear that?” I asked as I studied the street, constantly ensuring we hadn’t been compromised.

“You know how people talk. Plus, I still have a few old buddies I chat with. They keep me up to date.”

I didn’t laugh, nor did I answer.

“Shit,” he huffed. “Don’t tell me. You’re currently sitting in some shitty bar in some godforsaken country.”

“Staring down at one of those shitty bars from a safehouse.”

Kage remained silent for several seconds. “Gray called you for some mission.”

“Nope. He just showed up.”

“He has a habit of doing that. I’m surprised you accepted.”

“Why?” I bristled. “Because I shouldn’t consider myself worthy?”

“Jesus, Maddox. I deserved that, but you called me. Remember? You’re way more qualified with extractions than I am.”

My grip on the phone was tight. “Yeah, I did. I’m sorry. Been a hell of a couple days.”

“Just like old times. All I was going to say was that I was surprised given what Alfaro put you through. Is this about seeking revenge?”

“Now, why would I do that? This is about a wayward reporter who decided to place herself in harm’s way.”

“Sounds a lot like a woman I know sleeping beside me in a king-sized bed.”

I was happy for Kage. I truly was. He’d found the love of his life. Was I jealous? Hell, no. I’d simply never anticipated he’d fall for one woman. “She’s a fucking handful.”

“Uh-huh. Which means you don’t want to like her, but you do.”

“I didn’t call you for relationship advice. I can handle her.” I wasn’t about to offer up her name. Not at this point.

“Then why did you call me in the middle of the night?”

As I took another deep swallow of brew, I thought about whether I was doing the right thing. “I need you to do some checking. If you’re not too busy with that horse sanctuary you now own.”

“Gray told you.”

“He did.”

The way he muttered under his breath caused a smile. He was certainly a different man than when I’d known him years before. “What do you need?”

“This needs to remain between us. At least for now.”

“You don’t necessarily trust why our commander tasked you for the mission.”

“You would be correct,” I admitted. “I need to know what kind of radar Alfaro is under and what lengths the DEA is going to in order to track him down.”

“Let me guess. No questions asked.”

My instinct told me Charmaine had no clue what she’d found herself in the middle of. “I can’t give you any details. At least not yet. But it’s possible I’ll need your help later.”

“You got it. I’ll see what I can find. But you’ll owe me.”

“Fine. I’ll owe you. I should be back in the States in a couple days. Call me when you find something.”

“Will do.” Kage remained on the line. “Where are you taking her if you’re successful getting her out?”

“DC. She got herself involved in a national situation.”

“Of course,” he huffed. “Be careful who you trust. Lots of rumors flying around.”

“You don’t need to tell me.”

“If you need some help, give Damon Zephyr a call. He’s currently living in Alexandria, Virginia. He knows people.”

Damon. I hadn’t thought about the man in years. He’d been a part of our unit then suddenly transferred. “I heard through the grapevine he was into criminal activity.”

“Maybe. However, he’s one of us.”

One of us. ‘The only easy day was yesterday.’ A saying so many SEALs recited when things got tough. Damon had been one of them. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good.” Kage’s hesitation continued.

“What?” I finally asked.

“I’m curious. Are you still dreaming, you know, about the shit that went down?”

My teeth were gritted, the force enough my jaw ached. “Almost every night.”

“Do you ever wonder if we’ll be free of the nightmares?”

I grabbed my beer and continued staring down at the street. “No. We deserve them.” Almost as soon as I closed my eyes, an ugly memory swept in.

“Quiet,” our commander said as we approached the group of buildings.

The light was dim, only the bright moon to guide us over treacherous terrain.

I glanced at Kage, nodding to tell him I was ready.

Our advance had taken longer than we’d hoped.

Even the night vision goggles had been more of a hindrance than anything.

Commander Jenkins motioned for the two of us to advance. We flanked the sides of the door leading into where we’d been told an Afghani army chief responsible for thousands of deaths during sweeping massacres was holed up.

I glanced behind me at Stone as our commander sent another group around to the back of the building.

I turned my head, the stream of moonlight catching Kage’s evil grin. There was nothing better than taking down the enemy. That’s what we were trained to do.

“We go on three,” Commander Jenkins instructed in a harsh whisper.

With a determined look on his face, Kage took a step back. He’d been tasked to kick the door open.

Suddenly a flash caught my attention. Just as Kage kicked in the door, I sensed a presence. There was no time to call out, no chance of warning anyone this could be a fucking setup. I reacted on instinct, lunging forward into the darkness as the others followed orders.

Popping sounds suddenly occurred from every angle. I dropped and rolled, firing off several shots into the darkness.

The interior had been breached, several of the SEALs rushing inside.

This was meant to be about capturing the leader of the insurgents, a brutal man who’d taken out one of our own.

Yet as the bullets continued to fly, there was no doubt we’d been brought here to be eliminated.

Boom!

With my hand clenched around the almost empty beer bottle, I leaned forward, gasping for air.

I’d believed my actions to be correct, attempting to save the men I’d sworn to die for.

Instead, I’d ignored orders and in doing so, I’d destroyed trust. I’d killed a half dozen of the bastards who’d set the fire, determined to bring us to our knees.

But at the end of the mission, that hadn’t mattered.

I’d lost my way.

There wasn’t a day that had gone by that I hadn’t retraced my steps or endured night sweats about what had been called a reckless decision.

Would I do it again?

I just didn’t know.

When I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, I sucked in my breath.

“You’re a good man, Maddox. Thank you for saving my life.”

Charmaine’s voice penetrated every part of me, yet the ache remained. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

“No,” she whispered and leaned down, pressing a kiss against my cheek. “This is one thing I’m not wrong about. You are my hero.”