Page 6
6
Rupert
Rupert might be a tad out of sorts. Because when he had departed for his country estate, rolling off in his carriage—just he and his bride, no Mother—a lightness had settled over him. Something swirled uncomfortably in his chest, something that felt a whole lot like guilt. He tugged at his cravat. He knew his mother meant well. And she’d suffered so many trials in her life. But sometimes the pressure of it all…the constant demands, trying to keep her moods from tipping over. Sometimes he feared he’d always fall short of being good enough. And a fortnight away from it all…it sounded like bliss.
He groaned. Guilt.
And then there was his wife. And what having a wife meant.
A wedding night.
The anticipation of his wedding night had built itself into a large, mocking mythical monster. And now he was running scared, deserting his new wife for a solitary meal. Because being in the same room with her? She would have to undress in front of him. Share a bed with him. Well, yes, you dolt, how else do you bed someone?
He dropped his face in his hands and let out a pathetic pained whimper. Because most of his fantasies about that woman didn’t involve a bed. Waves shining like black silk flashed in his mind. Glinting green eyes meeting his as she chanced a look back. To see if he was chasing her. Daring him to. He’d never caught her. But in his fantasies, he did.
He groaned into his palms. His fantasies weren’t civilized. Weren’t acceptable. Were most definitely not what should happen between a husband and wife, let alone happen at all.
And the discussion he’d had with his best mates the night before his wedding? They’d opened his eyes to things that fed into the desires the devil whispered in his ear. He didn’t fully understand where these twisted needs came from. All he knew was after growing up constantly at odds with Franny, her always, always pestering and pushing him, always having the fun, the freedom he never had, always running away from him, just out of reach… He wanted to finally catch her. His blood heated, and he quickly chased down the growing lust with a swig of ale.
Separate rooms would have kept them safe. If he’d worked up the courage, he could have ordered her to wait for his knock and have the lights doused. Then he’d perform a hurried consummation and be back in his room shortly thereafter. Orderly. Perfunctory. Not debase. He’d be completely in control. He would not fall victim to sexual impulse.
But there was only one room. One bed. And it had been quite obvious his new wife expected a wedding night. He wasn’t daft—he knew a large part of his avoidance was from nerves. He didn’t want to muck it up. And not just because one-and-twenty years of demanded excellence made one a slave to perfection. No, it was because of Franny . His fist clenched. He wanted her mindless with pleasure. Wanted to be the cause. The one who gave it. Denied it.
His breaths exploded from him. Fuck , get a hold of yourself . He didn’t like not having an option to escape. To flee if his desires ran out of control. And he knew Franny. If he was in her presence for too long, she was sure to get under his skin. And that was when it was the worst. The desires rose in him like dangerous black waters. The need to punish her. For her to fight him. But not be able to win.
He threw back his tankard, only to find it empty. He called for another, needing to drown out the pulse in his throat ticking erratically in tandem with the muscle in his chest. Stop thinking those thoughts, Rupert .
He’d take his time down here in the dining parlor and hope when he finally made his way back to their room, she would already be asleep. He could handle Franny if she was asleep.
But awake and obstinate and provoking?
It was too big a temptation.
Temptation only leads to moral decay and eternal damnation, my son.
Remember that always.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6 (Reading here)
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63
- Page 64
- Page 65