Page 41 of Mac (Demented Souls #7)

E lyse woke to darkness. Not sure why she was awake or what had woken her, she lay still, listening and trying to remember what had woken her.

Had it been a dream or something else? The bed shifting reminded her she wasn't alone, and she reached out trying to find Mac.

There he was,Elyse settled back against his reassuring warmth and tried to relax.

A moment later he rolled over, wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer against him.

"Everything all right, a thasgaidh?"

"I think so." She felt stupid for having woken him with her worries, even if she hadn't done it on purpose.

"Think?" His arm tightened around her middle. "What's wrong?"

Elyse sighed. She hadn't wanted to go into this now, but there really wasn't a good time, was there?

"I know my timing could be better, but I just can't stop my mind from going over and over it, wondering if this is going anywhere.

" She fell quiet for a few seconds then realized how bad that sounded.

"I'm good if we're just having fun here, I just need to know.

" She took a deep breath and pushed it out in a rush.

"I just need to know what to expect." She let out another sigh, convinced she was screwing this up.

His silence did nothing to reassure her.

After what seemed like an eon but was probably no more than a few minutes he spoke. She jumped at the sudden sound of it, only to have his arm tighten around her and his hand rub a soothing pattern on her arm.

" A thasgaidh, I tell you every day what you mean to me.

But I get why you might not understand what I'm saying, with the way I'm saying it.

" She felt him take a deep breath behind her, only unlike her, he let it out slowly.

"I told you a thasgaidh is a term of endearment in Gaelic, what I don't know if I told you is it's what Da called Ma.

I do know I didn't tell you I've never used it with another woman. " He fell quiet for several seconds.

It seemed like he was waiting for that to sink in. She wished she'd known it sooner. Maybe she wouldn't have worried so much.

"Do you understand what the name means to me?"

Elyse felt tears well into her eyes as she opened her mouth to say something, but the words seemed to hang in her throat.

Not wanting him to think she was ignoring him or that his confession meant nothing to her, so she nodded, at least until she figured out what to say and managed to regain her lost ability to speak.

"Thank you," she whispered after a few moments.

tears still streaking sideways down her face.

"I had no idea. I mean I like it when you call me that, but I had no idea what it meant.

Now those words, the ones I know you're saying just for me, mean so much more.

" She shifted, rolling to face him in the darkness.

"I tried to put a brave face on it. I tried asking like it wasn't already too late, but I've known for a while that there's something special about you.

Something that slipped past all my defenses.

" She lifted a hand and laid it along the side of his face, wanting to feel his reaction in the darkness.

"I knew before I asked tonight that I'd already fallen for you.

Fallen hard and fast." Elyse licked her lips and swallowed.

"I can't tell you how much it means to me to know you've basically been telling me the same thing for a while now and I just didn't know it.

" She closed her eyes and took a breath, waiting to see how he would respond.

It took him a few minutes before he said anything.

" A thasgaidh , I don't know what to say.

I live a different kind of life than you're used to.

There are things I just can't share and there always will be.

I want to see if we can make things work, but you need to know that now.

There will be times I disappear, maybe even for days at a time, and I won't be able to tell you where I am or what I'm doing.

It's not an easy thing for a woman to live with, I get that.

It's part of why I've never pursuedanything anywhere near this serious with one. At least not in a very long time."

Elyse couldn'thelp but wonder exactly how long, but this wasn't the time to ask.

Maybe that time would come, but she'd hold her tongue until it did.

She thought about it a moment, could she live with him disappearing, with the secrets?

She didn't have any secrets of her own, and he'd seen the horrible way her mother treated her and the rest of thefamily, she had nothing else to hide.

She remained quiet while she thought about it, thought about him disappearing, or not knowing what's going on, and how she might deal with it.

.. then she thought about living without him.

That sent a sharp pain through her chest and she knew.

"I want to try. I know it won't be easy, but I can't just give up on what we could have.

" Tears welled up and streaked across her face again.

"I love you too much to give up on what we could have. "

"That's all I needed to hear, athasgaidh . I'll give you everything I can, you mean that much to me, my dear."

"No. No, not that. Call me the other thing. I don't like you saying the English version. It feels wrong."

"All right, a thasgaidh it is." He folded his arms around her and pulled her against his chest.

Elyse closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Right here, in his arms was where she belonged. It was what felt right, and she had no intention of giving him up... Ever.

Thank you for reading Mac. If you enjoyed it, or even if you didn’t, please consider leaving a review. The next book in the Demented Souls series is Tuck.