Page 157 of Lucas

A strange mix of feminine pride and tenderness wells up inside me. “I’m not sorry,” I whisper.

His eyes soften. “Good. Never be sorry for how you affect me. It’s the headiest damn thing I’ve ever experienced.”

We gaze at each other, the air crackling with all the unspoken love and longing between us. No more words. Not now.

I set my clothing to rights, and just in time, too, as we’re pulling up outside my house.

Ever the gentleman, Lucas exits the car and comes around to open my door for me. But he doesn’t step back to let me out. Instead, he crowds into my space, one hand braced on the frame beside my head.

“Thank you for trusting me today,” he says, his eyes intense on mine. “For hearing me out. It meant more than I can put into words.”

“I’m glad you took me. That you let me in, even just a little.” I reach up to cup his stubbled cheek, reveling in the rasp against my palm. “I know we still have a ways to go, things to work through. But this was a good start.”

“The best,” he agrees, nuzzling into my touch.

I let my hand drop and gather my courage. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to say my next words. “I should head inside. Alone.”

Disappointment and hurt shutter his expression before he masks it.

He nods and steps back. “I understand. You still need time.”

“I do,” I agree, hating the flicker of pain I see in his eyes before he shutters it. “But I promise you, it’s not forever. I just...I need to be sure, Lucas. Before I let you all the way back in.”

“I get it, Ava. And I’ll be here whenever you’re ready. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” I whisper back. I remain rooted to the spot as he gets back in his car and pulls away. Only when his taillights disappear from view do I turn and head into the quiet house.

But my mind is anything but quiet.

I want to let Lucas back into my life, my heart, my bed. To lose myself in his arms and never let go. I’m terrified of getting hurt again, though. Of placing my trust in him only to have it shattered once more.

I love him. God, do I love him. So much it’s like a physical ache. But the lingering specter of betrayal tempered that love, and I need to make peace with that. To know, with bone-deep certainty, that I can count on him, no matter what.

Heaving a sigh, I shuffle into the living room and collapse on the couch. I flip on the TV, more for noise than any actual interest.

I must doze off because the next thing I know, I’m startled awake to the discordant screech of “ring-ring!”

“Jesus,” I mutter, scrubbing the sleep from my eyes. Across the room, I spot Cartman bobbing on his perch, looking too pleased with himself.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m awake,” I grumble at him as I fumble for my phone. The number flashing on the screen has me frowning. “Michelle? Is everything okay?”

“Well, that depends,” my best friend chirps. “You’re not in the middle of wild reunion sex with Lover Boy, are you? Because I don’t want to be a cockblocker, so if you are, I’ll hang up and let you get back to riding the Lucas Express.”

“Oh my God, Michelle.” I pinch the bridge of my nose. My girl has many excellent qualities, but tact has never been one of them. “I’m not having sex. I just woke up from a nap.”

“Okay, well, I’m here with Noah, and they have this birthday tradition where they call each other and curse each other out or some dumb shit. The problem is, Lucas isn’t answering, and I remembered you had that thing with him today, so I figured you made up and are together. So is he with you? Can you put Lucas on so Noah can do his thing and I can get my orgasm?”

“Wait. What?”

“Hey, Ava,” Noah chimes in. “Can you put me on speaker so Lucas can hear?”

“It’s Lucas’s birthday today?”

“Yeah.” Noah sounds surprised. “Wait, you didn’t know?”

“No, I didn’t. And he’s not here.”

“Oh. Well, do you know where he is? He’s not answering his phone.”