Page 11 of Loving Ohio (State of Us)

Chapter Ten

Devon

T he night is quiet, the kind of silence that feels too big, too empty. It stretches out around me, swallowing everything whole.

I shove my hands into my hoodie pocket, tilting my head back to stare at the constellations, trying to focus on the vastness of the sky. My stomach knots tighter with every passing minute.

I told Christian to come talk. “Find me later when you’re ready.” Simple words. A simple request.

But nothing is ever simple with him.

Where the hell is he?

Kicking at a stray rock, I watch it skitter across the dirt road winding through the campsite.

The fairgrounds are dark now, the neon glow of the rides and booths snuffed out, leaving only the distant flicker of fire pits and the occasional murmur of voices.

RVs and tents sit in tight clusters, their shadows stretching under the moonlight.

I should go back. Should pretend this doesn’t matter. But it does, especially after what happened tonight.

That wasn’t just a verbal attack on Taylor but on us all .

Arya. Me. Huckslee.

And Christian...fuck, I’ve never seen him snap so fast. His whole body locked up, fists clenched so tight his knuckles went white. He’d shifted his stance, winding up for a punch like he was ready to end that guy.

And I didn’t even think. I just reacted. Grabbed him, held him back, felt the tension in his muscles like a live wire. He didn’t fight me, either. Didn’t shake me off. Just stood there, vibrating with rage, his jaw clenched so tight I thought he might break his own teeth.

So I told him, find me later.

And now I’m here. But Christian’s not. I’m left pacing the campground like a fool, waiting for a guy who isn’t coming .

I exhale hard, dragging a hand through my hair before leaning against a tree and sliding to the ground.

I don’t get him.

I don’t get how he can launch himself off ramps at seventy miles an hour, crash and bleed, get back up like it's nothing. But the second something like this happens, he shuts down completely. Like if he ignores it, it won’t exist. Like burying it will make it go away.

But it’s still there. And pretending it doesn’t hurt won’t change that.

I pull out my phone, staring at his name, my thumb hovering over the screen.

I could text him. Could remind him that I’m waiting.

But I don’t.

Because maybe this is my answer.

Maybe Christian’s way of handling shit is pretending it never happened. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk.

I let out a quiet laugh, shaking my head as I shove my phone back into my pocket.

Got it. Message received, loud and fucking clear.

Whatever this thing is between us, it’s not real.

And feelings don’t belong.