Page 22
“My parents died, and I didn’t get to say goodbye.
” Zav adjusts his seated position to where our sides rest against each other in a search for silent comfort.
I press myself a little harder against him in encouragement.
“We were estranged at the time, and I knew they didn’t have long due to an illness.
It was absolutely heartbreaking letting them leave this Earth knowing I’d never see them again and yet not doing anything about it either. ”
Our pinkies touch beneath the blanket, and I wrap mine around his just like I did not too long ago. His chest stutters at my touch and his head turns toward mine waiting for my reaction to his admission.
“Why didn’t you go to them?” He must’ve had a reason especially if he’s this broken up about it.
“I couldn’t.” Zav tightens his hold on my finger, his Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows down a wave of emotions. “Circumstances out of my control prevented it from happening.” His head drops and I’ve never seen the lively man look so sad before.
I want to press further on what those circumstances were, but I feel his guard rising the more he talks about it.
“If I could go back, I’d spend as much time as possible with them as I could before the sickness took hold.
I suppose even that was out of my control.
” He loses himself in the memory before he shakes it off and gives me a sad smile.
“Well, this date is going downhill real fast. Sorry for being a downer.”
“Not a downer.” I shake my head. “Thank you for your truth, Zav. I guess it’s my turn now?”
“Celine, you don’t ha—” He goes to stop me, but I insist.
“No, no it’s only fair if you shared a truth that I do too.” Zavier closes his mouth and sits silently waiting for me to continue.
“Sometimes I think I’m doomed to live an endless cycle of people pleasing.
Ava pointed out to me recently that’s what I am—a people pleaser—and she’s right.
My mom abandoning my dad and I, then him leaving me in his own way has done more damage on my psyche than I like to acknowledge.
I know it’s not his fault, but sometimes it still feels that way.
” I give a mirthless laugh. “Part of why I find it hard to say no to Ava is for that reason. The few people I have in my life and care about, I struggle to go against them because I worry they’ll leave me. Stupid, I know.”
“Don’t say that.” Zav growls after my confession. “It’s not stupid and you’re valid in everything you’re feeling.” He speaks like he has his own experience with the pain.
“That’s not the only thing, though.” I bite my lip trying to hold the words inside, but I fail.
“I’m not sure how I feel about my job. I’m slowly coming to the realization it’s yet another piece of my dad I’ve been trying to hold onto.
Being a detective was his thing, and he was so good at it.
” I picture Captain Barnes’s face, full of expectation.
“It’s a high stress job and the burden of his legacy feels so lofty. ”
“What would you do otherwise?” Zav asks quietly.
“I’m not sure. I love the gym I box at, so maybe something with teaching other women self-defense?” I murmur and stroke the fabric of my skirt until it lays straight on my leg. “It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about what I want.”
Long fingers gently lift my chin, and I let my gaze wander over his masculine features before settling on his eyes.
Our faces slowly creep closer to one another’s before a startingly loud thunderclap sounds and I jump. The building almost feels like it quakes, but I know that can’t be true. It’s more likely me that’s trembling at Zav’s proximity.
I can deny my feelings, my attraction, all I want but the truth is I’m drawn to this man in a way I’ve never been to another person.
“Should we go see if we can spot some lightning?” I clear my throat and stand up, the somber mood disappearing like a popped balloon.
Zavier’s footsteps echo lightly as he follows me.
We step out onto the Ledge deck and peek over at the view below.
An unbelievably beautiful sight greets us, and the pouring rain adds to the ambience of the whole scene.
A grid of thousands of lights in various colors, mostly yellows and oranges, stretch as far as the eye can see.
Having the view surround us completely including under our feet is breathtaking.
Even though it’s a touristy thing, seeing it now with nobody else in the room is pretty magical.
“What do you think?” I ask Zav without taking my eyes off the view in front of me.
“Beautiful.”
“Isn’t the view spectacular?” I gush and trace a falling raindrop on the glass with my finger.
“Magnificent.” I feel his stare on me as he says it and fight off the blush wanting to stain my cheeks.
“Let’s sit down. I want to watch for a while.”
We situate ourselves after Zavier runs over to grab the blanket and sets it down, so the glass won’t be as cold to us.
I rest my head against his shoulder, and he stiffens for a second in shock before wrapping an arm around my back.
Somehow, he’s beginning to lower my defenses in a way no one has before.
Cars zip by beneath us like little ants.
I’m not sure how much time passes, but Zav suddenly breaks the silence.
“Thanks for agreeing to come on this date. I know I can come across as a lot sometimes, but I really do like you.” He strokes my shoulder with a featherlight touch.
“I wasn’t sure you’d say yes, and then Ava pushed you into doing it so, yeah, thanks for coming.
” He sounds so small when he says it, but it warms my heart.
I pick my head up from his shoulder and smile. “Of course. I had a wonderful evening with you.”
Determination fills his emerald eyes, our faces inch closer once more. He gives me time to pull away if I want to, but I don’t. I want this. I want him.
“Wait.”
Zav pulls back immediately when I say it, but I’m not protesting for the reason he thinks.
Properly facing him I gently rest my hands on his lean chest. The muscles tighten under my hold beneath his black sweater, and I clutch him tighter.
I slowly push his glasses up onto his head where they sit out of the way.
While I love them on him, I want complete access to his gorgeous face.
Fingering a lock of red hair that has fallen into his eyes I brush it away.
We both lean forward and the anticipatory breaths we release mingle in the air.
Zavier grabs my wrist when I move it up his shoulder and cups the back of my neck with his other hand. It’s strong and warm but not suffocating. A pause is given as if he’s allowing me one last chance to stop this, but I break down that barrier by closing the last bit of distance between us.
My lips are on his.
It starts as a soft, sweet peck and we pull back after it happens, staring into each other’s eyes, as we revel in the moment.
Then, like a raging inferno our lips slam back together and I’m holding onto his shoulders, fully seated in his lap.
We consume each other, weeks of sexual tension building to this.
The floodgates have finally been opened.
Zav yanks the hair tie out of my ponytail, the length cascading around my shoulders, and he fists it, controlling the direction of the kiss.
Our cores grind against each other and a moan slips out of me. Zav’s answering moan tells me he’s as affected by this as I am.
His tongue swipes across my lips asking for entrance and I part mine letting him in.
Our tongues tangle and he continues to clutch me like a life preserver.
A small prick against my lip has me questioning the contact but with another quick swipe of his tongue I’m consumed by pleasure.
My fingers run through his silky crimson strands, and I pull on the silver chain around his neck just enough for a bite of pain to leave him whimpering under me, asking for more.
I love that sound.
A man who whimpers and moans for his woman is such a turn on. While I love to be dominated, sometimes I also love to do the dominating. My sexual history isn’t extensive by any means but enough for me to know a few of my kinks.
Coming up for air we rest our foreheads against each other.
Zav whispers my name like a prayer and tucks his face into my neck. He peppers kisses along the column of my throat, and I hug his broad back reveling in the feeling of being worshipped.
Teeth scrape along my skin and when he starts to suck, I know a hickey is going to be left behind. His heavy breaths bring goosebumps to my flesh when he pulls back slightly to admire his work.
“Shit, Zav.” I can’t help but call out his name when he flips us and lays me down flat on my back. The hard floor smooshes me against the full length of his body and I clench my thighs together. His thick cock presses against my thigh and I moan his name when he licks over his work.
“I had to mark you.” One last kiss to my neck before pulling back. “Look at you splayed out beneath me.” Checking the silver watch on his wrist he smirks. “Just in time for dessert.”
God help me.
Table of Contents
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- Page 22 (Reading here)
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- Page 59