Page 31 of Lovesick Gods (Lovesick #1)

Lynn opened her mouth to say something more, but Danny heard his phone go off in the main room and leapt at the chance to answer it.

“Just a sec, that might be important.” He lightning jumped to his pile of clothes and answered the call without looking at the ID. “Hello?”

“Hey, Danny, got a minute?”

Stella . He’d been hoping for Cho. “Hey…” Glancing at Andre, then at Lynn as she came in from the hallway, Danny offered an apologetic shrug and walked past her to take the call out of earshot. He trudged down the hallway toward the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Just confirming you’re joining us for family dinner again this week.”

Crap. Danny had forgotten she’d texted him about that earlier.

There went another evening, he thought as his stomach bottomed out, but he’d promised he wouldn’t fall into his routine of ditching.

“Yeah, of course. What was that message you sent about playing Trivial Pursuit after dinner though? Can’t we watch a movie or something instead?

It’s like you want the night to end in a fist fight,” he forced a laugh.

Stella chuckled. “Well at least now that you’re Zeus, you can heal any bruises I give you in only a few hours.”

“Ha…right.” Yeah, he healed—like his body was a big whiteboard that could be easily erased. “Was there anything else? I have to get out on the streets.”

“Oh, um, yeah, actually…if that’s okay?”

Danny leaned against the wall by the mini fridge, sensing something big coming. “What is it?”

“Look, I know it hasn’t been very long with Joey around, in the grand scheme of our lives, but he’s not going anywhere any time soon.”

“Sure,” Danny frowned, “it’s not like I want him to go.”

“No, Danny, I know that. That’s not what this is about. And I’m not saying now is the best time, I just wanted to test the waters on what you might think.”

“On what I think about what?”

“On telling Joey that you’re Zeus.”

“ What? ” Danny’s eyes widened as he pushed from the wall.

“He’s family, Danny. He’s bound to find out eventually. Wouldn’t it be better if we controlled that? If we found the right way and time to tell him ourselves?”

“Because the best way to welcome him to the family is to put his life in danger?”

“He’d be in danger anyway, he just wouldn’t know why.”

Danny’s lightning thrummed through him with an audible buzz. He’d thought the same thing so many times, that the people he loved were always and would always be in danger because of him, but no one had ever said it out loud before.

“So being part of my family, just knowing me, is enough to endanger someone’s life?”

“I didn’t say—”

“You didn’t have to. It’s true. Rick died because of me. Mom died because of me.”

“Danny—”

“If I could send you and Dad away, I would, to protect you from…”

“From you?” Stella prompted when Danny trailed off.

Raising his fingers to touch the tears on his cheeks, Danny was as surprised to find them there as he’d been the night he fought Camo. He should be stronger than this. He had to be stronger than this.

“Danny, talk to me,” Stella said.

He didn’t want to be sad. He didn’t want to be angry.

He didn’t want to be numb. He just wanted to be happy again.

He knew that wasn’t something he could feel every moment of every day, but just one, just one day, why couldn’t he have one day ?

Lately he’d only felt wholly and truly good during and immediately after seeing Cho.

God, he was so messed up.

“Danny, please—”

“I haven’t been myself lately,” he said, not ready to tell her everything, not when he had patrol and needed to get a lead on Ludgate.

“I’ve been a little out of my mind,” he laughed, and it sounded so broken, he worried Stella would drop everything to come get him.

“But I’m working through it. I have something that’s helping me work through it.

I didn’t mean to react like that.” He never did, but the harsh, snap-reactions kept finding their way out of him.

“You’re right about Joey, Stella. He should know.

Someday. Not now, I’m not ready, but…someday soon.

After we’ve talked to Dad and the rest of the team about it. ”

“Okay, Danny. That sounds like a good idea. And I’m glad you’re trying to work through things, but you know you can always talk to me, right?”

“I know. That’s why I am. But I can’t exactly bare my soul to you right now when I have a new Elemental to chase.”

“Then you have to promise me that someday, sooner than whenever you’re ready to tell Joey the truth, you’ll get coffee or dinner with your sister and tell me what’s been going on.

I miss you. And not just for family dinner.

I miss you —just you and me. Whatever it is, I’m always here for you. Just like you were there for me.”

When she lost her parents—the first time. That had seemed so much easier when Danny was removed from it. He sometimes forgot that Stella was grieving again too.

Her words should have carried with them the comfort he craved, but Danny felt hollow. Once again someone had to put him back together because he didn’t know how to do it himself.

“I’m okay, Stella,” he said anyway, wiping his eyes and taking a breath. “I have to go. But I’ll be there for dinner this week, I promise. You can help cheer me up by beating my ass at Sports & Leisure.”

Stella laughed. “If you’re sure.” She always gave him that same out, the chance to say one more thing.

The only thing he was sure about was that his life was a disaster.

“I’m sure. I’ll talk to you later.”

Letting Stella hang up first, Danny paused to stare at the tremble in his hand before he hurled his phone away from him, finally giving into the temptation of the past several weeks.

It struck the wall by the kitchen door and clattered to the ground.

If it hadn’t been for the phone case, his outburst would have shattered the screen, but it still did the job of hanging up the call.

As he wiped the dampness from his eyes, guilt and anger and so much nothing boiled inside of him like some churning, dangerous storm.

He couldn’t even call Cho to relieve the pressure.

The only thing he could do was hit the streets and hope that luck was on his side to catch some sign of Ludgate or that some mugger had chosen the wrong night to do bad.

Footsteps sounded from down the hall. The click of heels. Lynn. Danny would get his phone later when he hung up his suit for the night. Right now, he just wanted to get away.

Pulling down his mask, he told Andre over the comms that he was hitting the streets and lightning jumped out of the morgue.