Page 13 of Lovers Like Us

I flip a page in the binder and then glance at Farrow. “From an outsider’s perspective, do you think the tour will help with therumors?”

Farrow considers this for a second. “All five of you haven’t been publicly together in years. That tour will be front-page news and bury any other shit.” He scrapes a spoonful of eggs. “I’d take the risk, but my laces aren’t triple-knotted likeyours.”

I blink. “Thank you for that last-second, unneededaddition.”

He smiles into his bite of eggs. “You’rewelcome.”

I flip another page. His presence is like a magnet that sayslook at meand then I veer off track. I’ll relax too much, and I need tothink.

“I can’t let him fucking do this,” I say aloud, reading a sentence I underlined five times:Beckett has taken a temporary leave from the ballet company.As a principal dancer, that’s a bigdeal.

Farrow barely skims the page. “You forgot to writethe tour is hisidea.”

Yeah, I still can’t believe Beckett Cobalt concocted this plan. To help Janie, his sister, most of all. It’s why his twin brother Charlie agreed. Heaven and Earth and every air particle knows Charlie didn’t signup for a 4-month tour just forme.

He may be at the lake house out of support, but the seeds of our relationship are still rotted. They have been since that night on the yacht. Nothing good can growovernight.

And Jane said that Sulli talked about the moments where I’d been there for her. Like the time when she thoughtshe broke her foot on a desert hike. I carried her in a piggyback for eight miles, and I kept trying to calm her. Saying she was a kickass human being and strong. I gave her my canteen early on, and her tears soaked my shirt. She kept telling me her swim career was over, and for Sulli,swimwas synonymous withlife.

Even attwelve.

I was fifteen, and I remember how when we reached the end of the primitive trail, her parents found us. Uncle Ryke and Aunt Daisy immediately drove their daughter to the ER, and I felt responsible for Sulli gettinghurt.

For eight miles, I wished that’d been myfoot.

I keep shaking my head, and I grip the counter. “Everything I’ve ever done,” I tell Farrow, “it wasn’t to cash in for a favor later. I never thought I’d be in a position where myyoungercousins feel obligated to put their careers and lives on hold.” ForJane.

Forme.

Fuck.“We’re the ones who’ve protected them,” I explain to him. “We even used to take their phones and block numbers of porn producers who had called us. Just so they wouldn’t be able to fucking reachthem.”

Farrow shuts the binder. “Look atme.”

I can barely rotate my taut shoulders. I want to open the fucking binder and reread everything.Again.

“Maximoff—”

“I get it. I’m overthinking.” I’m white-knuckling the counter, and finally, I look at myboyfriend.

His eyes carry complete understanding. And somehow he still looks like he’dloveto undo my tight-laces. “I’d be irritated, too, if my younger cousins decided to pay it forward when I didn’t want to be paid. But it’s happening, and you have todeal.”

I nod, my neck stiff. I want to be the kind of guy who can thank them, but I’m not there yet. I recognize the power in family, in that willingness and sacrifice, but just having this conversation, I feel like I failed Sulli and Beckett and evenCharlie.

I reopen the binder. I circled the dateDecember 14tha billion times. The start date. It’ssoon.

“What are you thinking?” Farrowasks.

“None of us will be here for Christmas.” My family normally stays at the lake house for Christmas—a pretty secure place—and our personal bodyguards are allowed to leave and spend the holiday with their families. “I’m thinking about how you and the rest of SFO willfeel—”

“We don’t care,” Farrow cuts meoff.

I frown. “Yousure?”

He smiles. “Man, most of us are in our late twenties. No kids, no spouses, no other obligations. We’re fine to spend holidays where our work takes us.” He lifts his spoon to his mouth. “We know what we signed upfor.”

I nod again. My little brother turns fifteen on Christmas day. I’ll miss his birthday, and I don’t want to hurt him. I think itmight.

Me being in a serious relationship—it’s new to my family. Cousins and siblings have been blowing up my group chats since they found out I’m dating abodyguard.