Page 106 of Lovely Venom

Something inside me snaps.Tears well up, hot and burning, and before I can stop them, they’re spilling down my cheeks. The smile of satisfaction that he broke through to me is tame, considering the feat it is to bring me to my knees.

But Connor is the one on his knees in front of me.

“Please trust me, Raina.” His hands wrap around my waist.

“It’s hard to trust anyone, Connor.” I bite my lip, my body trembling.

“Then trustus.I know it’s too soon.”

Something screams inside my head to believe him. I finally hoarsely whisper, “I’m trying.”

We stay tangled on his floor, our breath mingling, our chests rising and falling for what feels like hours. His phone never stops ringing, and both Rhys and Trace knock on his bedroom door to see if I’m okay.

The genuine concern in their voices pulls me through the darkness.

But lying here, listening to voices who shouldn’t care but somehow do, cracks something open in me.

I have nothing left. Again, I’m stripped of everything from my own tragic choices. Starting over seems like a mountain to climb, but maybe, just maybe, being with Connor is where I start that journey again.

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Connor

Raina sleeps tucked into the blankets. Back in my bed, her breathing is finally steady, like nothing happened. I’ve been watching her for hours. I told myself I’d sleep once I knew she was okay.

But I can’t.

I keep seeing her eyes when she couldn’t get air. The panic. The way she looked strangled by something I couldn’t fight off.

I’ve handled gunfights. Explosions. Torture.

But this?

Watching her go down and not knowing how to save her?

It gutted me. I have to know more about her condition so I won’t be left dumbfounded to help her if this happens again.

I have no patience for Google and doom-scrolling. My brothers think I’m a knuckle-dragging caveman with only death on the brain. I’m smarter than they think. They overlook my hunger for knowledge. My torture tunnel may signal I’m a madman who threw together tools of death and dismemberment, but each weapon was carefully curated.

Before Raina stole into my life, I spent hours down there, cleaning the tools with respect. Researching others and how to effectively use them to maximize pain and damage while minimizing blood.

Faced with Raina’s health ailment I know nothing about, a condition that could kill the woman I’ve fallen for like a pallet of bricks, terrifies me. I almost fell apart today because I didn’tknow what to do.

I text Cormac O’Rourke.DoctorO’Rourke.

Cormac answers my questions thoughtfully. Explains that an attack is like a hiccup of the lungs, but they stay contracted. The spray contains an agent that relaxes the muscles in the lungs, allowing the airways to stay open.

He tells me he’s ordering a pharmacy to deliver five inhalers to me today and that one inhaler should last almost six months. But he says to keep the others in different places in the house and my car. He must have told Trace, who’s his best friend, the same thing.

Finally, Cormac recommends that if Raina gets unprovoked attacks, she should consider seeing a specialist to go on daily medications.

One step at a time.

I want to be her daily medication.

An hour later, Raina stirs in my bed. Her eyes open, slow and heavy-lidded. Still a little glassy, but aware.

“You’re here,” she says softly. “Watching me.”