Page 18

“Love in the present, remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn’t exist and never shall. There is only now.”

—Christopher Paolini, Eldest

They were awoken in the early afternoon the next day by sloppy, doggy kisses.

Lizzy could tell that the sun was already slowly starting its journey down instead of up. She stretched to full wakefulness as the lion-dog squirmed onto the outdoor bed she shared with Ben, wagging his giant pom-pom of a tail and making eager whimpers.

They were still wrapped up in each other, joined together. Lizzy was amazed at how well-rested she was, how relaxed and softened every part of her body was. She didn’t feel any kinks despite sleeping so tightly entwined with a very hard, very angular living and breathing body pillow, never mind that a rather significant part of said pillow was still inside of her. Somehow, she was made for this.

Made for Ben.

And he was made for her. All the pieces of them fit together seamlessly.

She was also surprised that she wasn’t the least bit shy when it came to sex and the sensuality of sleeping naked beneath the sky. A part of her recognized that none of her past lives had any qualms about it, for it was simply pleasure. Simply nature.

Only the part of Lizzy that was raised in Elkhorn, Nebraska, by relatively old-fashioned parents felt awareness for social norms. But that part was soundly suppressed when it came to taking what she wanted and needed from her Mate.

“Yoohoo!” Divina’s voice floated over from some distance away, beyond the tight ring of cypress trees that surrounded Lizzy and Ben’s quarter of the villa.

“Are you decent for company? I sent Chewie to scout ahead. It’s two in the afternoon, not that time matters when you’re having fun. But I thought you might want to break your fast with Andros and I. I have a feast filled with local delights prepared!”

Lizzy painstakingly disengaged her body from Ben’s, but couldn’t help herself from clenching rhythmically around his thick staff before letting him go.

He groaned in his sleep, his arm tightening around her waist reflexively, his hips thrusting forward to keep their connection.

Oh, she was so very tempted to stay in his embrace and make use of that magnificent undying erection for the rest of the day.

But her stomach gurgled loudly in protest, and Chewie barked with impatience.

Laughing at the giant pup, she scratched behind his floppy ears and quickly got dressed. Then, she leaned over Ben and slowly brought him to wakefulness with hungry little kisses all over his chest, throat and face.

He reached up and cupped the back of her head as he took her mouth more deeply in a lingering, tongue-filled kiss.

“Good morning,” she murmured when they finally broke for breath.

“Mmm,” he rumbled, slitting his eyes open slightly to peer at her through his lashes.

“We’re invited to a late lunch with Divina and Andros.”

“Mmm,” was all he said as he pulled her back down for a full-bodied kiss, his naked erection prodding into her belly, separated only by the thin fabric of her dress.

Ah, hell.

Maybe they could take another hour or two to properly wake up with a couple of orgasms, Lizzy thought as she devoured Ben’s mouth.

But Chewie barked again and pushed his head against them, trying to wedge himself between them.

“All right, all right!” Lizzy laughed.

“We’re up, we’re up!”

After Ben dressed too, they walked hand in hand where the mastiff led them. Divina was there to greet them beyond the cypress trees. Andros waited a bit farther off—

In his centaur form.

“Oh!” Lizzy exclaimed, shielding her eyes from the afternoon sun to get a better look at him.

“Isn’t he the most magnificent sight you’ve ever seen?” Divina sighed, looking also at her Mate.

Well, Lizzy thought he couldn’t hold a candle to Ben. But she could still appreciate a fine specimen of raw masculinity.

“None of the renderings I’ve seen of centaurs, ancient or modern, do him justice,” she agreed.

As if he knew they were talking about him, Andros cocked his head a little, stomped his front hoof and flicked his luxurious tail.

His upper body was bigger in this form than as a man, though the proportions remained the same. His long black hair cascaded down his back. The lower half was all equine. Larger, taller and more muscular than the largest stallion Lizzy had ever seen, his hide such a glossy black it had a sheen of blue to it.

“You go on ahead with Andros,” Divina said to Ben, tugging Lizzy closer to her by wrapping her arms around one of Lizzy’s.

“We girls have things to talk about, not fit for manly ears.”

She smiled at Ben slyly, full of good-humored teasing.

Ben kissed Lizzy deep and hard before leaving her to Divina and walking ahead to join Andros.

When the two males strode out of hearing distance, Divina turned her assessing gaze to Lizzy.

“So…how do you like your quarters?”

Lizzy knew what she was really asking.

“They were… sufficiently enticing,” she replied.

The two women grinned at each other.

“Thank you for preparing this beautiful haven for us,” Lizzy said. “We needed it. We needed each other.”

“Darling girl,” Divina said, “I do not know Benjamin very well, not as well as his sire, Ere. But I have always sensed the loneliness he kept hidden behind that sunny smile.”

“He gives so much life and joy to others, yet he doesn’t receive the same. At least, not in all the ways he needs. As soon as he mentioned he’s coming here with you, I knew. I could hear it in his voice. You’re the one for him.”

“I know,” Lizzy whispered, still reeling from the truth of it.

“I can’t believe I get to have him. I…I’m not entirely caught up with everything that happened in our past lives, but…I don’t feel like I’ve done anything to deserve him.”

“It’s not so much about what one deserves,” Divina said sagely.

“It’s about who one loves. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like a choice. You feel helpless against it. But it’s always a choice to give of yourself. A choice in the degree to which you make yourself vulnerable and open to another. He chooses to love you, clearly. And it sounds like he’s always made that choice.”

Divina gazed at her intently.

“And now, I can see also very clearly, that you choose to love him too.”

Lizzy shook her head, not sure how to put her feelings into words.

“Like you said, I feel helpless not to love him. I can’t believe I chose to deny him in the past, deny what I felt. Especially in my first incarnation.”

“As the Pure Goddess,” Divina more stated than asked.

“That’s what I’m learning,” Lizzy admitted.

“Well, as a sort of deity myself, at least to the humans who used to worship me, I can relate a little bit,” Divina said.

Lizzy looked at her closely, full of questions she didn’t know how to ask.

But Divina knew what she wanted to ask anyway, for she explained:

“When you live a seemingly endless life, you see the best and worst of people. Everything comes to an end, it appears. Gods are soulless beings, not necessarily because they want to be that way, but because they must be.”

“Can you imagine powerful, immortal deities who run high on extreme emotions from one day to the next?” Divina threw up her hands in gesticulation.

“The world would crumble. The skies would fall.”

Lizzy dimly recalled that she had brought those calamities about herself, eons ago. When she lost the first incarnation of Ben.

“I watched humans over the millennia of my existence, and I came to love them,” Divina went on wistfully.

“I envied them for their freedom with emotions, the freedom to take risks in matters of the heart.”

Her breath hitched.

“I hurt Andros when I met him and didn’t know what to do with the feelings he evoked in me. I tried to tamp them down and shove them away. To make them less than what they were. He is the purest, most honest male I know. He didn’t understand why I would ever deny the Bond between us. I hurt him very badly.”

Lizzy made a sound in her throat in empathy. In shared experience. Because she knew she’d done the same with Ben. Maybe not in this life, but before. For so very long, she’d made the same stupid mistake, and hurt him beyond any soul’s endurance.

A weaker soul would have given up long ago. But Ben never did.

They were taking the long, scenic route to wherever they were having luncheon, Lizzy realized.

They walked slowly, arm in arm, through olive groves and over hills that overlooked the glistening sea. The figures of their males could be seen farther up ahead. From the distance, it looked like a very tall, broad-shouldered man was walking next to another such man on a horse. She supposed if there were visitors on the island who didn’t know better, they wouldn’t even realize it was actually a centaur they glimpsed from far away.

“What I am trying to say is that there is no point regretting the past, for the past is done and cannot be changed.”

“But people change. Those who learn from their mistakes, anyway. What you must do now is live in the present, make the right choices and love freely, openly, deeply.”

Divina gave her a head-to-toe inspection, her eyes turning into half-moons in an indulgent smile.

“I see you have given your love free reign, Lizzy my friend. It looks good on you.”

Lizzy breathed in deeply and let it out slowly.

“It feels good too,” she said. “I’ve never felt this free before. Like I’m soaring. Like I can do anything, and everything is possible.”

“Hmm,” Divina murmured thoughtfully.

“Perhaps others see it too. I gather that you have a role in these dragon egg quests. But I sense it’s more than that.”

Lizzy nodded, slowing her footsteps even more as she reflected over the past weeks.

“It seems that whoever is after the eggs wants me too,” she recognized.

“I appear to have the…ability to activate the eggs somehow. The dragons inside are dormant until I touch them.”

“You are the goddess, after all, who created all dragons,” Divina supplied. “If I were after ultimate power, I would want access to the source, not just what she could do.”

“But to what end?” Lizzy wondered, stopping in their walk altogether and biting her lip, frowning in thought.

“Oh, my dear,” Divina said, “you were born human in this incarnation, and you haven’t recalled all of your past. In an Immortal’s long existence, power is the only thing that matters to most. The control of it. The dispensing of it. Everything else exists in service to it. Money, fame, even scientific advancement.”

Lizzy’s frown turned into a scowl.

“Why can’t we all just get along? Exist in harmony?”

“But harmony is boring,” Divina said, the seriousness of her tone belying the flippancy of her words.

“Harmony often implies the absence of change. Because change would disrupt harmony whenever it is achieved. Can you imagine ageless Immortals never changing while continuing to exist? They would do anything to dispel the boredom. They must have something to strive for, something to spice things up. And power is the ultimate drug of choice.”

“Ben’s friends aren’t like that,” Lizzy pointed out.

“There is a counter balance for every force,” Divina said. “Love is the greatest equalizer. It’s a drug that doesn’t harm, only heals. And it’s inexhaustible. Costs nothing, yet priceless.”

She smiled cheekily at Lizzy.

“I am not a fighter and never will be. My way of contributing to our friends’ efforts to keep the Universal Balance is to spread as much love as I can.”

“You’re very good at it,” Lizzy smiled in return.

“Naturally,” Divina crowed, not so much arrogant as confident in her calling in life.

“This is my love island,” she said, spreading her arms to gesture to the gorgeous seaside vista.

“I own all of the properties here. There’s something for everyone, from affordable hostels to luxury villas. Most of the visitors are couples falling in love or already in love. And the locals here have deep, generational love amongst them that feed into everything they do. We pride ourselves that the couples who visit and leave here are more in love than ever, and there’s no shortage of people who fall in love during their stay.”

“I can see why,” Lizzy murmured.

She’d personally experienced the enchantment of the place as well.

“Any other tips you can give me?” she asked. “Given you’re a bonified love goddess.”

Divina’s dark chocolate eyes twinkled at her.

“What kind of tips would you like to hear?” she asked in return.

“Well…”

For the next few minutes before they rejoined their men, Lizzy leaned in and whispered in Divina’s ear, making the sultry she-dragon laugh with naughty delight.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“Five eggs have already been found. The sixth is somewhere nearby, according to intelligence from the Cove,” Ben summarized.

They were full and relaxed from a late afternoon lunch. While he was used to taking his meals earlier in the day, this timing was consistent with the slower pace of things in the Mediterranean region.

Besides, he’d snacked on Lizzy the night before, using her body as she used his. The hunger that burned inside him that was all for her ever trumped the needs of his belly. He didn’t want to end this sensual feast, in all meanings of the phrase. But it was now time to turn to the quest at hand.

“My troops have scoured all of Greece and the surrounding islands,” Andros said.

“We have identified two potential locations. Santorini and Nisyros. Both are southeast of Athens. It is most expedient for us to travel there by dragon back. It will take about four hours, maybe less, at top speed.”

Divina let out a huff at this, clearly not looking forward to it.

“I am useless over long distances, I fear,” she lamented. “I knew that the treasure was most likely near those islands, and we could have headed directly there from Athens, but…”

She gave Lizzy a sly glance.

“Well, I wanted you two to have a romantic getaway first. And this is my love island. I wanted to show it off.”

“We appreciate the consideration,” Lizzy murmured, ducking her head and sipping her cherry vyssinatha while her cheeks took on a rosy tinge.

Again, Ben wished they could stay longer on Corfu, at this magical villa. He wished they had more time to explore the bounty of the island hand in hand.

But the singeing heat of the rings he wore reminded him that time was of the essence. They must find and recover all of the eggs soon.

He didn’t know why; the rings didn’t tell him. But he felt the time pressure all the same. Just like the Jade Emperor’s dragon quests. There was always a time limit.

“I can carry all of us,” Ben said.

“And thank goodness for that,” Divina immediately sighed with relief. “Else, we’d have to travel the old-fashioned way, by human inventions.”

Beside them, sitting on the ground, Chewie barked.

“Not you, baby,” Divina cooed, stroking through the luxurious ruff around his face that gave him the lion look.

“You stay here and guard the fort. We will be back before you know it.”

“My troops will meet us on the ground,” Andros said.

“Are they centaurs too?” Lizzy asked, curious.

“A few,” Andros acknowledged.

“They are our descendants and their Mates. But as the genes become diluted, there are less and less centaurs in the world. Only a handful now. All of them are mine. The lines of the other original centaurs have ended in humans and horses.”

He said this with some regret and sadness, which prompted Divina to lean over and nuzzle their faces together in comfort.

“I’m sorry to hear it,” Lizzy said.

Ben felt a pang of loss as well.

He knew that centaurs didn’t have the longevity of Immortals. In fact, depending on the lineage, some centaurs lived shorter spans than humans.

Andros’ line was the longest lived, given that he descended directly from the god Apollo. But even then, it was a few hundred years at best. Andros himself was Immortal only because he was Divina’s Mate.

“But we have thousands of progeny,” Divina said with grin, squeezing Andros’ bicep.

He gave a brief nod, a small smile hovering on his lips.

“Goodness, I used to pop out babies every other year for decades!” Divina crowed.

At this, Andros met her eyes, his smile widening wolfishly.

Divina sighed.

“I miss being pregnant. I loved growing and nurturing a baby inside. Being full and luscious. I miss having a voracious appetite.”

She waggled her brows at her Mate.

“For everything .”

The pair shared an extremely heated look.

Ben smiled to himself. It did not appear that certain aspects of Divina’s “appetite” had abated in the least.

“But you don’t…that is…” Lizzy grimaced, clearly not knowing how to ask her question delicately.

“I haven’t been with child for over a thousand years,” Divina admitted.

“Oh.”

“In fact, I didn’t even know I could become pregnant in the first place. I never had been before meeting my Mate. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience while it lasted, however. And I have soooo many babies all over the world to keep tabs on!”

She snuggled against her Mate and sighed again.

“I would like another baby of my very own. I get my fix by visiting my great great great…well, you get the idea—grandchildren’s babies. But it’s not quite the same.”

“This is your chance, then,” Ben said.

Shortly thereafter, they took off to Santorini.

Ben’s scales had the ability to reflect and absorb all kinds of light, rather like Zai’s. As such, he could fly in camouflage mode during all times of the day, though he typically avoided when the sun was brightest. In such times, the glare that his scales sometimes created was visible from afar, like the flash of a star. It didn’t last long and was only caused by a specific combination of angles, but unless it was necessary, he preferred not to risk it.

We will stop at Santorini first , Andros communicated to all of them through the link he shared with Divina.

If the treasure cannot be found there, we will go to Nisyros next.

If I’m not mistaken , Lizzy said, the most famous volcanic eruption in Santorini was dated to 1640 BC. According to some theories, this island is connected with the sunken kingdom of Atlantis, and is credited for the destruction of the Minoans.

These are more than theories, Ben replied.

As you know, there is always truth in myth. Atlantis is known by many names, but the island itself is very real, and so are the people who thrived on it before it was submerged beneath the sea.

So, the volcanic eruption and its aftermath were the reasons an entire civilization disappeared? Lizzy asked.

Yes and no, it was Divina who answered.

According to the stories I heard, a dragon was the reason the volcano erupted in the first place. But that was well before my time in Greece. And I do not know what happened to the dragon.

It could well have been one of the Celestial dragons sent down to earth by the Jade Emperor for a particular purpose , Ben hypothesized.

The Jade Emperor? Lizzy queried.

Her voice in his head held a strange sort of fission, and her body went still and stiff upon his back.

Yes , Ben answered.

He is an all-powerful being who has sent Ere and me on many dragon quests. Over the years, we’ve found and liberated all of the known dragons in the world from across time and space. He rules over a magical place called the Celestial Realm. It defies all description. Real yet not real.

Lizzy was eerily silent at that.

He couldn’t hear her thoughts at all, and she wasn’t in the habit of keeping them hidden from him. She was getting better at controlling access to her mind it seemed.

It made him worry.

Then, how do you know if the Jade Emperor himself is real? she asked after a long while.

He noticed that she only spoke in his mind through their Bond. Andros and Divina couldn’t hear them now.

Have you met him?

Ben considered this.

I’ve never seen the Jade Emperor for myself, no, he said at length. And to my knowledge, none of my friends have either.

I suppose it’s possible he’s not real. Ere has mentioned that he’s heard a thunderous voice in the Celestial Realm and whenever he was chosen for quests.

But that could have been anyone, right? Lizzy persisted. All dragons, the male ones anyway, seem to have thunderous voices.

You believe in dragons, but you don’t believe in a being like the JE? Ben asked.

Well, I can see and touch dragons, can’t I, she argued. But no one has ever seen or touched the JE, as you said.

There was something she wasn’t telling him. Something she knew that he didn’t. Could it have to do with her past incarnations?

The most powerful beings I’ve ever seen and touched were the Pure and Dark Goddesses , Ben admitted.

I’ve always heard that there was a Jade Emperor and his lady wife, but none of us lesser beings have ever been in their presence.

She was silent again for a long time.

He didn’t press her, tried not to intrude. It was only very recently that she discovered parts of her past lives. She needed time to remember and to sort things out.

And there were a lot of things to sort out.

Ben, I…

I’m the Pure and Dark Goddess, aren’t I? The Twins are actually One.

As I understand it, yes, he confirmed.

And…if I’m the most powerful being you’ve ever encountered, I-I think…

I think I might have created the Jade Emperor.

He had not contemplated the possibility.

After Lizzy’s most recent incarnation, Eve, disappeared, along with the shadow dragons that were the final remnants of the Dark Goddess’s power, Ben hadn’t heard from the Jade Emperor or the Celestial Realm for thirty years. If anything, he felt the absence of it.

As if an invisible fissure had finally healed in the sky.

At least, I created the persona of the Jade Emperor , Lizzy amended.

He’s not real. I mean, he used to be real. He created me , after all. But his consciousness had ceased to exist eons ago.

I think I know what happened, she said with a sharp indrawn breath.

The Jade Emperor and the Queen Mother of the West faded away right before the War of the Gods. In fact, it was their disappearance from the Universe that triggered the other gods rising up against the Twins.

I-I mean— me.

Ben searched his memories as Byakko to see if he could recall anything. But it was after his time.

According to Ere, the War of the Gods happened after Byakko’s passing. The Twins were punished for it. They were cursed with souls, the only gods who possessed souls. The other gods saw it as a weakness and ganged up against them, thinking this would be the best opportunity to usurp the Goddesses.

The Twins weren’t punished for the death of Byakko , Lizzy said quietly, breaking into his thoughts.

I remember.

There was no “punishment” exerted by an external force. I grew my own soul out of grief and regret over the loss of Byakko. I didn’t know it at the time.

It felt as if a bottomless hole had opened up inside of me. It felt like I was suddenly weak, as if I was bleeding out from a mortal wound.

But now I know it was the inconsolable anguish from losing you.

Ben.

He shuddered at her words, making Divina squeak in protest as her seat on his back was jostled, making Andros tighten his grip on her, as well as tighten his thighs on Ben.

The other gods banded together to bring me down at my weakest , Lizzy went on, her voice in his mind sounding distant, as if someone else was saying these words for her.

It took them centuries. I created dragons to fight this war with me. But ultimately, I chose to save your— our —son, Goya, instead of my other half. And in so doing, I ensured my own downfall, for my twin is part of me.

Her voice no longer sounded like Lizzy’s by this point. It was a strange amalgamation of all of her previous incarnations.

Since then, I imprisoned half of myself in the Celestial Realm, which I created, to isolate my destructive power from the world. The other half of me was funneled into a fox spirit because…

She inhaled a shaky breath as she remembered.

As Ben remembered with her.

Because I wanted to haunt the world like a ghost, waiting for a time when your soul might be reborn.

His heart thrashed around in his chest at the truth of her words.

I couldn’t become a real person, not split in half like that. Yet, I didn’t trust myself to control my powers if my halves were One.

I did finally find you, the leopard Beast you’d been reborn into. But I wasn’t brave enough to love you fully, even as a ghost.

And…and…

I know , he rumbled deeply.

What happened when the Dark Queen Ashlu captured the Beast. What happened when the Beast looked into his Mate’s eyes when she witnessed his debasement.

Desperately, he steered her thoughts away from that part of their tormented past.

If all of that is true, and you created the Celestial Realm and the JE, why did you send us on the dragon quests?

She was silent again. Thinking.

Finally, she said:

I knew that half of myself was still out there, seething with fury and vengeance. You must understand—there is not a good half and a bad half. They are all me. I have never been purely good, like you.

Lizzy—

No. Let me finish.

Ben was silent, though he didn’t like the way she was talking about herself.

His Lizzy was good. She was the best . How many gods could say the same? How many gods had learned to love and sacrificed themselves for it?

None.

Not a single one across time and space.

Only Lizzy.

I knew my other half was out there, she continued.

Plotting. Planning. Gathering her strength, though it had worn thin over all these millennia. In my self-imprisonment in the Celestial Realm, everything was muted. I made it that way so I would never be tempted into extremes again. And thus, my powers were muted too.

But I still cared what went on in the earthly realm.

Looking into the Mirror Pond was my only escape. I tried to be a neutral, uninterested observer. I didn’t always succeed. I raised Pure and Dark Ones from dying humans as the original gods and Immortals began to grow extinct from all the wars and the lack of progeny.

Each spark I gifted eroded more of my powers. But there had to be Balance against the likes of Medusa and her minions.

Ben reflected on this and asked:

You are also the reason the Pure Ones suffer the Decline. Why would you put such a curse on them?

He could feel both her shrug and her chagrin as she replied.

I just said I wasn’t a good person, didn’t I? If my Byakko had to suffer such pains, I wanted all those with Pure souls to suffer the same.

He frowned.

But—

But why wouldn’t I remove their suffering instead? Hadn’t I learned anything?

Yes. That’s exactly what Ben wanted to say.

When have gods ever been reasonable? she retorted.

I certainly seldom was. You recall, don’t you? My irrational temper. The mood swings. That’s the problem with power. The more you have, the more unpredictable and uncontrollable it is.

And now that I learned empathy in this human life and in my past incarnation toward the end, I want to reverse these rules. But here’s the irony—I can’t. I no longer have the power to.

Ben shook his head, jostling his riders again.

All of these revelations boggled the mind. He never realized…

So, back to the dragon quests , she said.

A part of me knew that my twin was still out there in the world, after being defeated by the Black Dragon. I could feel her still. We, neither of us, can ever truly be destroyed. We—I—will always exist in the Universe in one form or another.

The dragon quests were created out of the boredom of my self-imposed incarceration, but also because I wanted to collect power from the earthly realm, for I could feel my twin amassing her own. The quests themselves were a means to an end—

The matching of Mates was the real objective , Ben supplied.

Yes , she agreed.

I’ve seen enough from the Mirror Pond to realize that there was no power greater than true love. Even though I didn’t understand it then, certainly not for myself; I could see it.

You guided me to find my own Truth , he said, referring to the journey to the past where he met Zai and Sin during the reign of Queen Ashlu.

She was quiet again.

When did you know who I was? he asked. My soul, in any case.

I didn’t really suspect until you came back from that quest , she answered slowly .

You might have found your own Truth, but I had yet to reconcile with mine. Even if I learned who you were in the past, I didn’t know who you were to me .

But I suppose I always felt…something…familiar about you , she mused, almost to herself . When Lilith found you in the forest the first time, she felt it too.

It was Ben’s turn to digest all that he’d learned over the past hour.

They were close to Santorini now. The caldera wall could be seen in the distance.

What about the dragon eggs? he finally asked.

It’s not my doing to seek them , she said, reading his mind.

Perhaps they were created when the fated dragon Mates came into being. As the Mates are scattered throughout time and space, the eggs must remain hidden until they can come together to Claim them.

And you are here to activate them , Ben added.

I am no longer certain that the eggs are the warring Immortals’ ultimate goal , he said, having an epiphany . I think it is you , Lizzy.

It has always been you.