Page 47 of Love from Pretty Beach

D arby was in the sitting room. Her laptop was on a pillow propped on her lap, her glasses were on her face, her legs were curled up underneath her and her mood wasn’t a good one.

Darby Lovell was melancholy at best; however, she was doing her level best to curb getting low.

She was darned if she was going to let anything get the better of her.

She’d pulled herself out of the doldrums once already that year and there was no way she was going to let Archie and his spat about the video get under her skin.

As far as she was concerned, he could message her and try to work it out, or he could very much not.

Big girl pants self-talk was happening and she informed herself that she didn’t give a hoot about him anyway.

What did she need him for? Nothing. He and his stupid listed building stuff. Whatever.

No, she would not be beaten. She would continue with her newly found lease on life and her channel.

No one would get her down or stop her. I will not be defeated by a man on a video, she chanted in her head.

Long live strong women. It wasn’t really true, though.

The thing was that inside, Darby didn’t feel that strong, more weak and fairly pathetic.

However, she’d told herself she was fine and that she would soldier on. Sometimes, it was a case of having to.

Early that morning, putting all thoughts of Archie and his face aside, she’d taken her phone out, thank you very much, and filmed a lovely vlog on the beach.

She’d followed it up with an interior makeover, whereby she filmed herself painting the hallway.

Now she had hours of content to go through and edit.

Just as she was trawling through audio tracks to add to a part in her video where she was walking on the beach with Lola, her phone buzzed with a video call.

Penny appeared on Darby’s phone. ‘Hey.’

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Yeah, fine.’

‘I know that voice means you’re not. Have you heard from him?’

‘No. I’m not going to hear from him. I told you that he was very dismissive of me in the laneway. It’s put me right off. Actually, I’m not even sure I want to hear from him. I mean, that has to be a red flag, right? He was rude, dismissive and totally overreacted.’

‘Liar.’

‘Ha.’

Penny raised her eyebrows to indicate that she knew Darby was bluffing. The look travelled through the screen. ‘You do want to hear from him.’

Darby made a face. ‘Well, I’m not sitting here waiting for him to call me, that’s for sure. I’ve got better things to do than mope about some man who can’t handle being seen on a blurry video. Honestly, it’s a bit pathetic. He totally overreacted.’

‘Hmm, I’m with you. It’s not like you posted him shirtless working in your garden or something.’

Darby half-laughed, swirled her wine glass and stared at the ceiling as though it might give her some miraculous insight. ‘That would be funny, actually. Nah, he can please himself. His loss.’

Penny tilted her head. ‘I suppose I can see how he was put out by it. You know some people are really weird about social media. Maybe you should just give him a ring and clear the air.’

Darby snapped a little bit. ‘I already did that! I left a message, but he ignored it. I said sorry when I bumped into him. I’m not humiliating myself by doing it again. Honestly, I’m quite happy on my own. I do not need this or really want it. It came out of the blue, anyway. It’s no loss…’

‘Oh, you want it.’

‘It would be me chasing after him. I’ve been through enough of that in my life, thank you very much. It’s not happening. He knows where I am. Plus, he’s working around the corner. He knows where to find me.’

Penny nodded. ‘So that’s it then?’

‘That’s it.’ Darby forced a bright smile and joked.

‘He can stew in his own juice, for all I care. I’ve got a thriving internet empire to keep me busy.

Plus, at the moment, I am more or less powered by the beauty of mood-enhancing carbs, which, let me tell you, is a glorious place to be.

Give me all the pasta, all the time. What more could a girl need? ’

‘A man who makes you smile the way you’ve been smiling recently,’ Penny said, matter-of-factly. ‘You’re not fooling me. You’ve been really happy the last few months or so.’

Darby let her head fall back against the sofa cushions. ‘It’s nothing to do with him. It’s because I’ve dragged myself up and stopped feeling sorry for myself. Someone had to. I realised the only person who was going to save me was me.’

‘Hmm, yeah, not totally buying it. You really like him. In fact, I would say it’s love.

You were never like this with the other lot.

What do I know, though? I’m only your best friend who has been with you through the mechanics of three fathers to each of your children and other relationships. Need I go on?’

Darby corrected. ‘You’re pretty much my only friend.’

Penny laughed. ‘You’re lucky to have me. You like him, Darbs. I think you should offer an olive branch. I really do. Don’t let this slip away.’

‘Don’t! I’m not doing this. He can come to me if he wants to. If not, then fine. I’ll survive. I always survive. You and I both know that.’

After she put the phone down from Penny, Darby tried to think about what it might feel like from Archie’s point of view.

She couldn’t really get her head around it.

From her side, they had got close very quickly and then it hadn’t taken much for him to blow hot and cold.

She felt as if they had been an item and then, suddenly, just because he was a little bit cross about a video, he’d slammed the door.

Then again, she tried to think about the whole video incident from his side of the fence: he was seriously not into social media.

Next minute, he was in a video that had not just a few views but many thousands.

If the way he had acted, however, was the way he dealt with things, did Darby want to be with him?

Should she not give him a very wide berth?

On the other hand, perhaps he had just wanted to cool off.

It was very muddled. As per usual in Darby’s world.

She now saw that even things around her channel were complicated.

Was nothing ever simple? Everything in her life was far from straightforward.

It seemed that that was always the case.

Slipping her phone into her pocket, she stretched out the stiffness in her shoulders and huffed.

The house felt close, as if the walls had absorbed all her tangled thoughts and were pressing them back at her.

Lola looked up from her basket by the door, tail thudding against the floorboards as if she’d read Darby’s mind.

‘Come on then, lovely girl. You and I need a walk.’

Once out and about around Pretty Beach, Darby felt slightly better.

Breathing in deeply, she tried to let the fresh air unravel the knot in her chest. Turning a corner, the view opened up and she nodded at the lovely sight of the sea.

That was always a thing that helped. The beauty of the coast took her breath away.

A gorgeous tide rolled in, all frothy white edges breaking against the shingle, gulls swooped and called overhead, and a few evening strollers ambled here and there.

Darby followed Lola’s lead, her mind looping back over Archie.

It felt ridiculous that something so silly, so accidental, had unravelled things so quickly.

But as she stared at the waves hammering the shore, she reconsidered everything.

Maybe it was her fault. Perhaps she should have thought things through more.

Perched on an old weathered bench painted sea green, with peeling edges and a view to die for, Lola flopped at her feet and stared at the horizon as if she, too, were mulling over life.

Darby folded her arms and stared out, wondering what she should do.

All of a sudden, she felt the void of her mum no longer being with her more than ever before.

It had been many years, over twenty, since her mum had passed away, but Darby had often thought that her mum would have known what to do in various situations that had put Darby to the test. This was no exception.

Her mum would have been full of well-thought-through advice. Darby, rather, still had not a clue.