Page 30 of Lost Room Lawyer (Room #4)

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Hector

Linda walked around my desk and placed a few documents in front of me. “I need your signature here,” she said, pointing to the designated line.

I picked up my fountain pen, signed my name, and she slid another paper in front of me.

“Here too. Then I can send it off today.”

I followed her instructions and waited for the next sheet. At first glance, it was clearly a doctor’s note. Resting my elbow on the desk, I nervously fiddled with my lower lip.

“Nico just emailed me a medical certificate,” Linda said. “He’s sick for the rest of the week.”

Without a word, I examined the copy, trying to convince myself that it was okay. But it wasn’t. The whole situation was just messed up. Since he’d left my apartment, I had sent him multiple messages and tried calling. Every time, the voicemail instantly picked up, as if he had turned off his phone.

My mind was in chaos, and I didn’t know what to do.

I wanted to explain myself to him, downplay the situation, but if I was honest with myself, there was only one thing I wanted.

I wanted my damned house of cards back so I could hide in it.

Instead, the wreckage was scattered around me, and I stumbled with every step I took since last Friday—and today was Tuesday!

I was convinced that everything could be set right. Nico and Viktoria were the only ones involved, so I was hopeful about getting my life back.

However, Viktoria had also shut me out. Although we had exchanged a few messages, she said she had a double shift and would be staying with a friend for the weekend. I had no choice but to play the loving father at home. My girls had noticed that I was “somehow different.”

“I’m worried about him,” Linda said. “This whole thing is just too heavy. I can’t imagine how I’d react in that situation.”

“Hmm,” I grunted. I had nothing more to add.

Instead, my gaze once again drifted to the wall clock.

It was only three. Time seemed to drag, maybe because I was supposed to talk to Viktoria tonight.

As much as this meeting filled me with panic, I felt miserable that I hadn’t been able to explain myself to either Viktoria or Nico so far.

“You also look a bit under the weather,” Linda noted as she bundled the documents.

This time, I responded with a slight nod, and she retreated to the reception.

Since Nico had disappeared from the apartment last Friday, I had been in standby mode, feeling utterly helpless. My mind had been bombarded with all sorts of crazy thoughts, but I was incapable of grasping any of them or dealing with them.

My emotions were no longer in sync with my reason.

I wanted one thing—to talk to Nico, to apologize for maybe sending the wrong signals—but I was doing the other, focusing on my family, which was all I had left.

Nico was gone, but my daughters would stay forever.

If I made an effort, I could also fix things with Viktoria.

Damn it! I didn’t even know what I was going to tell my wife.

Rebuilding my usual way of life shouldn’t be too difficult. I had years of experience maintaining the status quo.

The more I thought about it, the smaller the catastrophe seemed.

What had fallen apart last Friday was nothing that couldn’t be fixed.

I was a lawyer, after all! With the right arguments, I could persuade anyone—hopefully even my wife.

Once things were mended, I’d hold myself together for a few months and play the perfect husband.

Maybe I should start accepting the idea of couples therapy.

While I convinced myself that I wasn’t facing the impossible. I shouldn’t underestimate Viktoria. She was a very rational person, but when her emotions took over, she could become furious.

I felt awful, and given what lay ahead of me today, this state wouldn’t change anytime soon.

Maybe Linda was right. I did feel a bit run-down.

When the phone rang and I saw Pierin Canonica’s name flash on the screen, I shot up from my seat. I couldn’t take the call. The automatic voicemail soon kicked in, and I heard Linda’s phone ringing at the reception.

“I’m not here!” I shouted and shut down the computer.

I hurriedly gathered a few files, grabbed my jacket, and stepped out of my office.

“He’s not here,” Linda was saying as I entered the reception area. “He has an appointment … Yes … Yes. That’s good … I’ll pass it on. Goodbye, Mr. Canonica.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled as I put on my jacket. “I’m heading home. I’m not feeling well.”

“Get well soon,” Linda said as I left.

I hoped I would start feeling better soon, but the closer I got home, the worse I felt.

No matter how many potential conversations I replayed in my head, by the time I parked in front of my house, my mind was blank.

Gripping the steering wheel like a lifeline, I stared at the wedding ring on my finger, struggling to understand why I felt so terrible.

Making amends with Viktoria was the right thing to do.

It was the only way to restore the status quo and salvage my marriage.

But where was the courage? The confidence? The reassuring feeling of doing the right thing?

With heavy steps, I climbed the stairs to the upper floor. The house was quiet; the kids were still at school. The lingering aroma of coffee indicated that Viktoria was home. Sure enough, she was sitting at the dining table with a cup in hand, observing me. She had been waiting for me.

“Hello,” I said, stopping for a moment by the stairs.

“Hi.”

Her mood was difficult to gauge. She sounded a mix of resentful and distant, yet also sad and hurt.

Let’s get this over with, I said to myself, setting down my briefcase and walking past the dining table to the coffee machine—although I would have preferred a cognac. I made myself an espresso and sat down across from Viktoria.

The silence was suffocating, and I even turned my head to see if the window was open. It was wide open, but the spring air couldn’t ease the tightness in my chest.

“How are you?” I asked, my voice rough.

Viktoria just nodded but avoided looking at me.

“How can I make it right?”

I honestly had no idea, so I thought it was best to directly ask her. Viktoria bit her lower lip and let out a deep sigh.

“How long has this been going on?” she inquired.

“What do you mean?”

In my attempt to stay in control, I unwittingly betrayed myself to my wife, who lifted her head and looked me straight in the eyes. She wasn’t n?ive and could piece together how long the situation with Nico had been going on. We hadn’t known each other for that long. But she meant …

“Everything,” she said with a cutting tone.

Perhaps it was better to lay all the cards on the table before I tried to rebuild the house of cards. But where should I even start?

“Please,” Viktoria pleaded. “Just be honest with me.”

It pained me to see her like this because she deserved nothing but the truth.

“I occasionally … have affairs with men,” I admitted, my voice barely more than a whisper.

It wasn’t shame that weighed me down, but disbelief in myself.

I wasn’t repulsed or embarrassed, but I was stunned that I had kept it a secret for so long.

That single sentence forced me to confront a truth I had never allowed myself to acknowledge.

I had become trapped in a spiral I couldn’t escape from.

It hadn’t been my intention, but I had gotten away with it and even found some enjoyment in it.

“What does occasionally mean?”

“Once a month?” I answered with a question, even though I knew very well.

“And … um …” Viktoria squared her shoulders and wiped away a tear. “What kind of men are they?”

“Callboys.”

She stood up, sobbing as she swiped the tears from her face. “Callboys!” she repeated accusingly. “Damn it!”

Her helplessness turned into anger as she furiously tousled her brown curls. “And I, the idiot, didn’t notice anything all this time!”

“Vicky, please …” I didn’t want her to blame herself.

“Tell me, since when!”

Now I was the one who bowed my head in shame. “Do you remember when I had to go to London on business with a client? He threw a party and invited a few guys … well … one thing led to another …”

“London?” Viktoria widened her eyes. She was doing the math. “That was thirteen or fourteen years ago!” she shouted at me.

I said nothing in response, clinging to my espresso cup and fighting the urge to run away.

“Ten years!” she yelled, completely beside herself. “You’ve been deceiving me for over a decade! What’s wrong with you?”

That was a good question, which made me shake my head in disbelief. “I don’t know,” I answered remorsefully.

“And I thought it was my fault!” Viktoria cried, throwing her arms up.

“Which, in a way, it is! Damn it, Hector! All those years … when we had sex …! Urgh!” She vented her anger with a loud outburst, repeatedly tugging at her hair as she paced back and forth in front of the dining table.

“I thought you didn’t find me attractive anymore!

I feared I wasn’t enough for you in bed!

I even worried that you were having an affair with someone else!

But then, when I visited you at the office and saw that young, dark-haired man…

You two hugged, and it was so clear that you were closer than just lawyer and client! God, Hector!”

“I’m sorry, he … Yes, we know each other from before,” I confessed.

“The boy isn’t even twenty-five! How do you know him?”

“He was a callboy.”

Viktoria grabbed the back of a chair and stared at me.

She tilted her head slightly, as if she was feeling dizzy.

Yet again, she wiped her tears away again and sniffled.

“I was so confused … and when … when I saw Leo again … at the restaurant. Damn it, Hector! Every time you went to the bathroom to wash your hands …”

A hot wave surged through my veins. The first time I had followed Nico, and it had led to that wonderful kiss. The second and third times—Nico had already left us—I had not been able to resist the pressure to wash my hands.

“You should have seen me!” Viktoria exclaimed, distraught.

“The way I behaved. I hardly recognized myself! I was so desperate for Leo’s attention.

And you know what? He gave it to me! He complimented me, told me how beautiful I am.

He even invited me to dinner on Friday. And we both know what would have happened next! ”

“Friday?” It took me a moment to piece the days together. Easter was in between, so … “Last Friday?”

“I didn’t go. Instead, I wanted to give us another chance, to surprise and seduce you, and to rekindle our sex life.

That’s why I came to the apartment. But then there was that callboy!

And Luca! And Leo’s son, Nico, in your bed!

Damn it, Hector! I really thought it was my fault, but now everything is clear to me. ”

For a moment, an intense silence hung heavy. My pulse began to steady, and I tried to sort my thoughts.

How could I have been so careless?

We should have gone to a hotel.

But the city apartment was my second home. And with Luca and Juri there, the only two people I could talk openly with, it had become my personal refuge.

“Say something already,” Viktoria urged.

“What do you want to hear?” I asked regretfully. “We had a really long dry spell. And I can’t even deny the blame, because it certainly wasn’t your fault.”

Viktoria covertly wiped a tear from her cheek.

“Listen, Vicky,” I said, standing up from my chair as well. “I want to fix this. For the kids and our family’s sake.”

Viktoria gawked at me across the table as if trying to decipher my words. “The thing with Nico Simeon wasn’t a one-time thing, was it? You didn’t just do it once a month.”

I shook my head, overwhelmed with guilt. Despite the complexity and mess of my situation, hearing Nico’s name triggered something in my mind—a warning signal telling me I was about to make a grave mistake.

But the thing with Nico meant nothing. This—my marriage, my family, my children—this mattered to me. They were important, and to prove it, I needed to pull out the big guns.

“He’s currently on sick leave. But maybe it’s best if I find him another internship position. And Nico …”—something choked me up and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat—“I’m sure it’s in Nico’s interest as well.”

Viktoria stared at me in disbelief, but I was willing to do anything to keep things on track. I had built something meaningful. All these years, I had put so much energy into making everything perfect. I certainly wasn’t about to let it all go to waste now.

“What do you say, Vicky?”

Viktoria glared at me. “I want a divorce.”

“But … What?”

“You don’t really think I can accept this? How could I ever trust you again? Fourteen years, Hector! And with … What will people think?”

“They don’t have to know …”

“Are you kidding me? No! You will pay for this. I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

“Can’t we just …”

“Leave! Now.”

I stood there, completely stunned, trying to understand what just happened.

Viktoria had just thrown me out—of my own house—talked about divorce, and that I would pay for it. Such threats weren’t like her. On the other hand, I knew very well that she was resolute in certain matters and had every reason to be this time.

But on this matter?

No, this can’t be the end.

I will fight for this family.

No matter what I have to do.