Page 19 of Looking Grimm (Marionette #4)

We threw Ezrah’s body off the bluffs.

He disappeared the way I’d intended to, sucked down into the inky dark. The sight stuck with me while Nash and I trudged back to the house, then upstairs to his bedroom.

We sat in his bed, separate at first, keeping distance while I struggled to put words to the thoughts fluttering around in my brain. I’d told him bits and pieces of what I’d been up to the past week, but it seemed only right to explain everything. He deserved honesty.

When I got to the part about Isha, detailing what she’d said, what I’d done, and how everything had gone horribly wrong, Nash dragged me onto his lap and held me while I sobbed. I clung on with my fists clenched so tightly that I put wrinkles in his shirt, and I cried so long and hard that his shoulder, where I pressed my face, was soaked through to his skin.

He stayed quiet the whole time, combing his fingers through my hair while his other arm wrapped snugly around me. After I ran out of things to say, he kissed my cheek.

“It’s gonna be all right,” he said. “You’re here now. To stay.”

I nodded, feeling wrung out but not quite numb as I mumbled into his chest, “Nash, I wanna be with you.”

He didn’t hesitate. “You’re with me, baby.”

“I mean I wanna be close to you.”

For the first time, it felt crude to say I wanted to fuck him, but I wasn’t about to call it making love.

Pulling back, he searched my face. I knew I looked a mess, but there wasn’t even a hint of disgust or judgment in his expression. Instead, he stared at me with his eyes soft and his mouth turned in a scarce smile.

“I want to be close to you, too,” he replied.

When he kissed me, I sighed and relaxed into him. His coat was still bundled around me, warm and comforting. His lips brushed along my jaw, then around the shell of my ear where he nipped with a tickling bite.

I squirmed then smiled, and Nash stopped to stare. He studied my face with such intense inspection that blush began to sting my cheeks.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he said. “The prettiest boy I’ve ever seen.”

My nose wrinkled. “You say the weirdest shit sometimes.”

He shifted against the pile of pillows. One leg pinned beneath me while the other bent up against my side. “Can’t you just take the compliment?” he asked.

“I’m a criminal,” I said. “Tough guy. I’m not supposed to be pretty. ”

Nash smirked. “Yeah well, it’s true. And I adore the starry look you get when I say it.” He unwrapped the coat from around me and slipped his hands inside, hooking his fingers into my hips and pulling. “Now come here, pretty boy.”

I groaned. “Nash…”

He drew me in and met my complaint with a hungry kiss. I shirked the coat and my shirt immediately after, then went for the buttons of his flannel.

With our bare chests exposed, I pressed hard into him. My erection tented my jeans, and every graze of Nash’s fingers felt like a static shock. I always wanted to rush things, especially sex, chasing the high of an orgasm before I even got my clothes off. But I wanted this togetherness to last. I wanted to be close to him as long as I could stand it. Maybe forever.

“You can take your time if you want.” I shrugged, feeling sheepish.

He chuckled. “I think I will.”

Nash peeled off my pants and boxers, then shimmied out of his own clothes. His kisses never stopped, visited on every inch of me until I was moaning against him, rolling my hips and grasping handfuls of sheets.

He sucked softly on the inside of my thigh, following an invisible line toward my cock, I thought, until his tongue swiped down the strip between my balls and asshole. I jerked, my head snapping up in a strain to see him framed between my legs.

He licked again, circling my entrance and wetting it enough to slide his finger in.

“Holy fuck,” I grunted as his tongue and hand worked in tandem. The pulsing thrust of his finger and the teasing flicks of his tongue had me so feral I was damn near growling.

“Nash,” I began but made it no further before he worked a second digit into me, stretching the hole with a pleasant sting.

I hissed through a breath, then eased down onto him while scrabbling for purchase on the mattress.

He stroked inside of me, playing my body like an instrument that made sounds I couldn’t control. I yelped, and whimpered, and begged for more, and he didn’t stop except to ask, “Do you think you can take another?”

I nodded, greedy for whatever he would give me. Never mind that my breaths were already hitching, and I felt adrift in subspace.

When he slid the third finger into me, my shrill whine deepened into a moan. I arched up, clutching the sheets as though I needed that anchor to keep from floating away. Everything was warm, and full, and precariously balanced.

“Nash,” I mumbled. My tongue felt thick in my mouth. “Nash, I wanna kiss you.”

He crept up the bed while continuing to work his fingers inside me. Every thrust and twist stalled my breath and turned words into desperate pleas.

My eyes were closed when his mouth pressed against mine. The soft crush of his lips stirred me, and I pushed up on my elbows, wanting to dive headlong into him. The kisses were hungry, punctuated by soft bites and stuttering groans.

Somewhere in the thick of it, his fingers pulled out, making way for his cock to enter. It plunged in deep, hitting that certain spot inside that sent chills through me. I released the bedsheets and grabbed onto him instead. My arms looped around his torso, and my knees snugged against his hips.

“I missed this,” I murmured. Even my own voice felt miles away. “Feels so fucking good.”

When he moved at last, I called out his name. I was entwined with him yet not close enough. I kissed everything I could reach: his face, neck, shoulders, and collarbones, covering his skin.

He continued to rock against me, working in and out. Pleasure sparked like lights flashing inside my brain. They interrupted every thought and eventually blinded me until everything was darkness and the only sound was Nash’s ragged breathing.

When his hand found my cock, I shuddered.

“Please,” I sputtered my only coherent thought. “Please, I need it.”

His fingers curled around my erection and moved slowly up and down, matching the rhythm of his cock thrusting into me.

I let out a cry, then bit down on my lip. More fervent pleas were stifled as he picked up the pace.

“I’m close,” I stammered, tasting blood.

“Go ahead, gorgeous,” Nash cooed. “I’m right behind you.”

Grinding against me, he found that spot again, spiking a full-body sensation that dizzied me. His final thrusts were near bruising as climax came. I could do nothing but cling onto him. My eyes squeezed shut, and my fists clenched while he finished.

The feeling of his cum spilling out sent me into ecstasy. I groaned and let my head loll back, body twitching.

I collapsed onto the bed, simultaneously empty and wonderfully full. Nash pulled out, prompting one last pleasured moan. He stayed bent over me, pinned between my updrawn knees.

Blinking through the heady fog of pleasure, I looked up at him. His pupils were blown wide, turning his brown eyes nearly black as they roamed over my body. He seemed to be thinking, studying, and his hand moved across my chest to chase his line of sight all the way to my face.

“Definitely the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen,” he said quietly.

Heat rushed my cheeks, joined by a coy smile. “You’d better keep that shit between us.”

He laughed, extricating himself from me and moving toward the edge of the bed. Reaching to the floor, he picked up his pants and wiped his hands on them. His back was to me as he spoke. “That would imply there is an ‘us.’ Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

My blush deepened until my face was fully aflame. I couldn’t hide it from Nash’s over-the-shoulder glance.

“Keep pushing me and see what happens,” I threatened, though I didn’t sound threatening at all.

Rolling onto all fours, he crawled over to me. His legs and arms barred me in as I laid flat beneath him. “Why don’t you save us both the trouble and tell me what’ll happen?” he asked.

I thought for a moment I might have it in me to go for another round. He looked so damn good with his pecs and biceps flexing and his cheeks dimpled in a grin. I could kiss every inch of him, and it wouldn’t be enough .

“Keep pushing me,” I repeated, “and I’m gonna cave. Because I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.” I leaned into him, jittery with nerves that reduced my voice to a whisper. “I love you, Nash. So fucking much.”

I swallowed, feeling exposed and stricken by my own admission. But I meant it, and I was tired of pretending I didn’t.

Nash stared back at me, so quiet and motionless that I didn’t know what to think. I held my breath, scared as if he hadn’t said it first, as if he hadn’t known I’d come around. How could I not?

Seconds felt like hours before he grabbed my face with both hands and pulled me in. His fingers were rough and his mouth forceful as he kissed me so long and deeply that I came up gasping.

“Say it again,” Nash murmured, his face inches from mine and our noses almost touching.

My stomach churned as the anxious energy returned, or maybe it never left.

“I love you,” I repeated.

“Hell, yes!” He dove in again. The feeling of him smiling against my lips made me smile, too, as he kissed me over and again, seemingly determined to smother me.

I was laughing by the time he scooped me off the bed and carried me into the bathroom. He set me on my feet while he turned on the shower, then quickly returned, arms and hands all over me while the air grew thick and warm around us.

Steam filled the tiny space as he took my hand and led me into the tub. He kissed me there, too, unrelenting, and I let myself get caught up in him .

The water pelted us, coursing through my hair and running down my bare skin, soaking every grip, slip, and slide. I felt like I was floating, my mind flooding with feelings I’d had for a long time but struggled to voice.

I told him I needed him because being with him never hurt. I wasn’t scared when we were together, wasn’t lonely. I was home because my home was in him. My heart was safe with him, and I believed he wouldn’t leave me. He loved me too much to do that.

We stayed entangled—hands, bodies, and mouths on each other until after the shower was done and we were back in bed, cozied up under the blankets. Nash held me with his chest against my back and his arms tucked around me in a loose embrace. And we slept.