Page 3 of Longing for the Ranger (Shadow Mountain Forest Rangers #2)
Izzy
Rooted in place, the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth as I bite down on my bottom lip in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. It’s a completely futile endeavor as a fat, salty droplet rolls down my cheek.
I rush to brush it away with the back of my hand before Jake and Luke can see. I’ve already disappointed them with the disaster that was fishing. Now it looks like we might not even get to spend a night here.
So much for the fun filled memories of a camping trip like they would have gotten with their dad. All my planning and effort for naught.
“It would seem you’ve had some visitors while you were fishing.”
A deep husky voice rolls over me as my eyes swing from the calamity that is our campsite.
My breath catches at the light brown-haired ranger standing with his hands on his hips.
His thick muscles straining the tan and green fabric of his uniform.
I’m transfixed as one meaty hand comes to rub the thick scruff on his sharp jaw.
“This is why we recommend putting all food in the bear boxes there,” he nods towards a large metal box with carabiners clipped through two latches.
A heavy sigh falls from me. “The kids were impatient after it took much longer than I expected to get the tent set up. I thought it would be okay while we fished for a bit before finishing setting up camp.”
“We didn’t even get to catch any fish,” Luke pouts.
My eyes fall closed with shame as I feel my cheeks heat when Jake adds, “Mom’s not very good at this.”
“Well, it takes some time to figure it all out.” He chuckles at the candor of the kids.
“Uh oh, looks like there’s some trouble at this site.” Another ranger unnecessarily announces as he strolls up.
Another deep chuckle comes from the first ranger. The second one looks at him, eyes wide with surprise.
“I’m Shawn and this is Rylan.” The first ranger announces, nodding his head towards the second. “How about I help you get this cleaned up, and Rylan can help the kids work on those poles for you?”
The ranger we now know as Rylan, brows pinch, as if confused. “Ah yeah, sure. Boys, let’s take a look at those poles.”
He reaches to take them from me, snapping me out of the trance I’m in, still staring at the disaster that is our campsite. “Um, well, if it’s not too much trouble. I’m Izzy. This is Jake and Luke.”
Poles in hand, he leads the kids over to the picnic table and efficiently begins clearing the mess I made of both poles. I can hear him telling the kids about the first time he ever caught a fish.
Following Shawn over to the tent, I swallow the lump in my throat before I heave another sigh.
“Maybe we should just take it all down and go home. This is not the trip I had imagined it would be. All the videos I watched and the preparations I did to get ready for it have been useless. Nothing is going right. There’s no way the kids are going to remember this being anything but a disaster.
I just wanted to help keep David’s memory alive for them, but all I’m doing is ruining it at this point.
” My hand rubs across my chest as if that can ease the ache there, while the verbal diarrhea spews from my mouth in an explanation this poor man certainly never asked to hear.
He pauses where he is examining the tent, his attention turning to me. “Not much experience camping?”
My arms cross my chest defensively as I scoff, “Isn’t it obvious? My husband was the outdoorsman. The boys would have done this dozens of times by now if he were still alive. I just wanted to give them memories that would help them feel closer to him.”
His hazel eyes soften in understanding instead of the pity I have come to expect, which throws me.
“It’s admirable you would do something so out of your comfort zone to help them feel closer to him. My uncle was the person who did that for me.”
I inhale sharply at his admission. The understanding now makes sense. “You were lucky you had someone who filled that hole for you.”
He nods, his lips tipping up, “I absolutely was. He is the reason I’m the reasonably well-adjusted guy I am today.”
“Unfortunately, my boys are not as lucky. They just have me.”
“Hey, they are lucky to have you. Look at what you’re doing for them. You’re helping them make memories even if it’s not all you imagined it would be. They’ll remember this and one day you will all laugh about it. Those are some of the best memories.”
I consider his words. “I suppose, maybe. But still, it’s not the same.”
“Sadly, it never will be. We can only do the best we can with what we have. And I’d say you’re doing your best. I’ll tell you what though, if you want I have the day off tomorrow. I could come back and help you take them fishing.”
My head is shaking before he finishes. “I couldn’t ask you to do that and on your day off.”
“You’re not asking, I’m offering. It would be my pleasure. Fishing is something I enjoy and I would be happy to share the experience with you and the boys. Something tells me you could use a break in life and I'm happy to help.”
My lips roll into my mouth as I study him.
He seems completely sincere. It would be nice to have some help and for the boys to maybe have some success fishing.
It’s just that accepting help, especially from a stranger, goes against everything in me.
But this is for the boys, and Shawn is being so nice.
Like right now, he is fixing the tent, leaving me to my warring thoughts without hesitation. No pressure at all.
Finally, after several minutes of contemplation, I nod. “Alright. If you’re sure you don’t mind. It would be great to have some help. I really appreciate the offer.”
The smile he gives me has tingles shooting through me I haven’t felt in a long time. Crap on a cracker, the man is good looking, but when he smiles with just a hint of a dimple and crinkles around his eyes, he’s a heartthrob.
I can only wonder, what have I gotten myself into now?