Page 36 of Longbourn’s Son (Pride and Prejudice Variation #22)
“Lady Catherine!” Darcy exclaimed, stepping forward to greet his aunt. “What are you doing here?”
“Where is she, Darcy?” Lady Catherine bellowed, glaring around the room.
“Of whom are you...?”
“Is it you?” the lady snarled, taking a menacing step toward Jane, who stared at the intruder in bewilderment. “Are you the trollop who has seduced my nephew Darcy away from my daughter?”
“How dare you!” Elizabeth exclaimed in outrage, leaping up to glare into the woman’s eyes. “How dare you insult my sister?”
“I dare say anything I please to the hussy who...”
“Lady Catherine!” Darcy bellowed, startling the woman so much that she fell silent. “This is obviously a private matter and I insist that you accompany me to my office so we can discuss the matter there.”
“I am coming with you,” Elizabeth declared, her eyes flaming.
“Miss Elizabeth...”
“No, this woman, whoever she is, insulted my sister!”
“I am Lady Catherine de Bourgh of Rosings, aunt to Fitzwilliam Darcy, who is engaged to my daughter!”
Darcy stepped forward to grasp his aunt’s arm and pulled her ungently toward the door. “Richard?”
“Yes, Darcy?” the colonel answered, his expression a comical mix of amusement and dismay.
“I trust you to look after our guests, along with Georgiana?”
“Of course.”
Darcy guided Lady Catherine out the door and down the hall, followed by the still unknown clergyman and Miss Elizabeth. He wished that Elizabeth would stay behind, but she was, he knew, a fierce defender of her family. It was one of the things he loved most about her.
Once the foursome was in his study and the door closed behind them, Darcy turned to glare down at his aunt. “Lady Catherine, I am truly shocked and horrified that you would storm into my home and insult my guests. How dare you?”
“How dare you throw Anne over for a blonde jezebel!” Lady Catherine cried out. “You have been engaged to your cousin since you were both in your cradles!”
“Indeed, Lady Catherine is entirely correct, Mr. Darcy,” the parson proclaimed, though his high pitched tone diminished the authority of his voice.
“It is entirely against the laws of God and man to disdain your betrothal to Miss de Bourgh, the fairest blossom in all of Kent, perhaps in all of England.”
Darcy took a deep breath, determined not to lose his temper, as difficult as that might be.
“I do not believe we have been introduced,” he said coldly to the man.
“This is Mr. William Collins, my clergyman at Hunsford,” Lady Catherine said impatiently. “Who is this ... this woman who dares oppose me?”
“I am Miss Elizabeth Bennet of Longbourn!” Elizabeth declared. “You insulted my beloved elder sister! That is how I dare!”
“Longbourn in Hertfordshire, near Meryton?” Mr. Collins asked, his homely face suddenly alert.
“Yes,” Elizabeth said, turning her wary attention on the man.
“I am your distant cousin, Miss Elizabeth! My father, Mr. Collins, was second cousin to your father, Mr. Thomas Bennet.”
Elizabeth frowned in confusion and said, “I remember my father speaking of a Mr. Angus Collins. He and Mr. Collins were not on good terms.”
“I am well aware,” Collins answered, straightening from his nervous slouch.
“It is a great sorrow when families are at odds, but that is hardly important at the moment. I am your cousin, and if your revered mother had not birthed one son along with five daughters, I would have been heir of Longbourn with her two thousand pounds per annum!”
Elizabeth managed, with difficulty, to suppress an open shudder. Based on the demeanor and expression of this man, he would have been a thoroughly annoying heir. It was also unnerving that the man knew a great deal about her family and estate, when she knew nothing at all about him.
“That is neither here nor there,” Darcy contended. “I see no reason why you have brought your clergyman here, Lady Catherine, in what is a private family matter.”
“I brought him so that you and Anne can be married by special license! Not tomorrow, but within the week. She is quite worn out from our journey to London, which is your fault, Darcy! You know she does not appreciate traveling in the early spring, nor do I. But you made it necessary to...”
“I am not marrying Anne!” Darcy said in a louder voice than was his wont. “I made that quite clear in my letter to you. Anne and I do not suit!”
“You are engaged before God and man,” Collins pontificated. “Therefore...”
“I am not engaged to Anne,” Darcy insisted, his gaze shifting worriedly to Elizabeth, who awarded him an encouraging smile.
“I am not,” he repeated, this time more calmly.
“Lady Catherine, you and my mother may have spoken of a prospective marriage between Anne and me, but there were never any formal engagement papers. I am not committed to my cousin by either honor or the law, and we do not love one another, would not be happy together.”
“Love? Happiness?” Lady Catherine snarled. “Marriage is not for love, you foolish boy. If you wish for romance, you may take a mistress on the side…”
There were gasps from both Elizabeth and Collins, and Darcy took a step forward, his face thunderous. “Lady Catherine, this is entirely inappropriate. I order you to be silent.”
“Are you engaged to Miss Bennet?” the lady demanded angrily. “I insist on knowing.”
“Of course I am not,” Darcy said, looking once again upon Elizabeth, who was fighting to suppress a laugh.
The lady turned her attention on Elizabeth and her face twisted in disgust. “It is this one, is it not? You are interested not in the blonde beauty, but this girl? What fools men are!”
“Indeed, we are,” Collins chimed in obediently. “But now that you have shown your nephew the error of his ways…”
“Silence, Mr. Collins! Miss Elizabeth, are you engaged to Mr. Darcy? I insist on being told the truth.”
“I am not,” Elizabeth said calmly.
“Not yet,” Darcy added daringly, and delighted at the blush which promptly spread across the lady’s face.
Lady Catherine regally ignored her nephew’s remark and relaxed openly. “Very good. I am most pleased that you have not been foolish enough to reach so high above you. Mr. Collins?”
“Yes, Lady Catherine?”
“It is possible that my nephew has raised expectations in this young woman, and thus I require you to marry the girl. She is pretty enough and will no doubt make you a good wife. Miss Elizabeth, my parson has a well-paid living and will make you an excellent husband.”
Mr. Collins gazed at his patroness for a moment before turning greedy eyes on the handsome woman before him.
“It will be my honor!” he squeaked. “Miss Elizabeth…”
“Are you mad, Lady Catherine?” Darcy exploded. “You cannot march in here and order my guest to marry your clergyman…”
He trailed off as Elizabeth’s ready sense of humor overcame her outrage.
She began laughing out loud and then, as Catherine de Bourgh turned purple with fury, laughed harder.
Darcy found himself laughing along with her, even as he marveled at her confidence.
There were few young ladies who did not find his aunt intimidating.
“Miss Elizabeth?” he asked, when both had calmed sufficiently to speak and before his aunt could recover enough to start yelling.
“Yes, Mr. Darcy?” she asked unsteadily, wiping her eyes with her handkerchief.
“I believe that I can manage the rest of this conversation with my aunt and Mr. Collins alone. I am certain that you would enjoy tea with your relations far more. Would you mind leaving us? I will join you as soon as I can.”
Elizabeth considered for a moment and nodded. “Lady Catherine, it has been an interesting experience meeting you. Mr. Collins, I would not marry you if you were the last man on earth, and I can confidently state that you will never be welcome at Longbourn. Good day to you both.”
She curtsied and departed swiftly, leaving an outraged lady and flabbergasted rector behind.
/
“Are you certain you are all right, Lizzy?” Jane asked as the carriage wended its way back to the Gardiners’ home.
Elizabeth, who had just finished recounting her encounter with Lady Catherine, smiled impishly and said, “I am entirely well. I found the lady more amusing than intimidating. I am more disturbed by our distant cousin, Mr. Collins. Based on my interactions with the man, he would have been a dreadful heir to Longbourn.”
“He may not be correct about the details of his relationship with your family,” Mr. Gardiner said mildly.
“Perhaps not, and in any case, we are blessed with a wonderful brother in Luke, who will oversee the estate with care and commitment.”
“Absolutely,” Jane agreed heartily. “But Lizzy, did Mr. Darcy truly say that you were not engaged yet ?”
Elizabeth blushed and beamed at her sister. “Indeed, he did.”
/
“Is our aunt completely mad?” Colonel Fitzwilliam demanded as he paced up and down the floor of the sitting room.
Darcy, who had been disappointed that Elizabeth and her family had departed before he escaped from his aunt, growled aloud and said, “I think perhaps she is. She has always been obsessive about this so-called engagement between me and Anne, but this is entirely beyond the pale! How could she imagine that Miss Elizabeth would obediently marry her parson?”
“I do hope she was not greatly disturbed,” Georgiana said with a shiver. “Our aunt frightens me.”
“Miss Elizabeth did not look terrified when she returned to the drawing room,” the colonel declared with twitching lips.
“She was not,” Darcy assured his sister, sitting down and taking her hand. “In truth, she laughed at Lady Catherine openly; I daresay it is the first time anyone has dared to do so, and our aunt was so shocked that it silenced her for a full two minutes.”
“Are Lady Catherine and Anne returning to Rosings on the morrow?” Richard asked abruptly.
Darcy moaned and shook his head. “I fear not. She spoke of going to your father in the morning to complain about my pursuit of Miss Elizabeth. I suspect the earl will be on my doorstep soon. The sad truth is that he will likely make more of a fuss over my marriage than yours.”
“Of course,” the colonel said. “I am merely a second son, whereas you are master of one the great estates of England. All the same, he will not approve of Miss Bennet as he wishes that I seek and wed a woman with money.”
“There is one simple answer to your problems,” Georgiana volunteered, drawing the attention of both men.
“Please do enlighten us, dear sister?” Darcy said fondly. It was hard to imagine a simple way to deal with their irascible older relations.
“Tomorrow morning, Richard should propose to Jane, and you to Elizabeth,” the girl answered. “If they say yes, you will be safely engaged, and no gentleman can break an engagement without dishonoring his name.”
Darcy choked at this suggestion and when he turned his attention on his cousin, he found Richard similarly afflicted.
“My dear, that is brilliant!” the master of Pemberley exclaimed when he had recovered enough. “Absolutely brilliant!”
“Of course it is,” Georgiana said with satisfaction.