Page 54 of Long Live the King

What if it’s a boy? Do I want him to be like me? Do I want him growing up around murderers and drug dealers? What if he isn’t as lucky as I was? What if he catches a bullet before he ever becomes “a somebody” in this thing? What if he makes a mistake, and the Commission votes to have him iced? Can I live with my kid being a part of La Cosa Nostra?

No.

I realize that my life isn’t the kind of life I want for my kid. I don’t want my child to grow up like me, scamming and murdering people like it’s nothing. I want my kid to be better than that, and the only way that’s going to happen is if I provide a childhood better than mine was.

Alannah and I smile together as she shows me the positive pregnancy test. A tiny part of me wishes Tommy and my mother were alive to hear the good news, but their deaths are a reminder of how violent this lifestyle is, just like my father’s death. I don’t want my child to grow up in La Cosa Nostra—just like my mother didn’t want me to.

“You know this changes everything, right?” I ask her, and she smiles again—the most beautiful smile there is in this world.

“Yeah,” she replies. “But how? What are we gonna do now? There’s a lot that’s still unresolved.”

“Yeah, there is. But nothing is more important than you and our baby. You two come second to absolutely nothing and no one. I’ll give my life protecting you. So, the first thing we’re gonna do is make some phone calls in the morning. It’s time to start resolving problems, the first being Victor Fronzo. Then, you and I are gonna put our heads together and figure out how I can do the impossible.”

“The impossible?”

“Yeah,” I reply. “We’re gonna figure out how I can get out of La Cosa Nostra.”