Page 10 of Lonesome Man (The Smith Brothers #4)

Chapter Eight

Libby

My heart was pounding wildly. Every word he’d just said was for me, for his Libby. I’d hurt him. I’d gone away. I’d left him alone and I hadn’t said goodbye. I’d made him feel that way—so hurt. Unwanted. Abandoned.

“I’m sorry,” I choked out again as I took his long, hard length in my hand and shuffled closer on my knees.

“I don’t want useless words, Libby, you need to show me.”

This was a different Tucker. He was hurt, angry.

When we were able to talk over the phone, and in his emails, his tone was always light and sweet, fun.

The pain I’d caused him was there in his eyes now, and in his voice.

He wasn’t acting, this wasn’t him role-playing, not really, he was using me to release all that pain, to get the closure he’d needed from me four years ago but had never received.

Nodding, I sucked his cock into my mouth, taking him as deep as I could.

I wanted to show him how sorry I was. Right then, it was everything.

The broad head bumped the back of my throat and I choked a little.

His fingers wound in my hair, fisting it firmly so he could use it to set the pace, not shoving me down on him, but letting me know he was in control.

I realized Tucker needed it, he needed that control over me because I’d made him feel powerless.

He was up here in the mountains, and when I stopped replying, he had no way of talking to me, of finding me.

His hips lifted a little when I sucked him back down and I gagged.

Tears welled in my eyes, running down my cheeks as I did it again and again, desperate to give him what he needed, to make him forgive me for the way I’d hurt him.

Pre-come slid from the tip of his cock, and I lapped it up, running my tongue down his length, then I opened my throat and swallowed, clutching the head of his cock.

Tucker groaned, then pulsed in my mouth, coming down my throat without warning. Gripping a hard thigh with one hand, I did my best to swallow it all.

My throat was still working around him when he tapped my jaw and eased me away from his cock, then he was hauling me up into his lap and pressing his mouth to my ear. “That was a good start, Libs, but you’re not nearly sorry enough yet.”

I nodded. Whatever he needed, I’d give it to him. I’d do this all night if that’s what he needed from me.

“I think you need to be spanked,” he said roughly.

I sucked in a sharp breath, and Tucker stilled, waiting for what I was going to do or say. All I had to say was no, and he’d stop. I knew that with everything in me. I didn’t want to say it, though. I wouldn’t.

“Yes,” I rasped. “Please, I need you to spank me. I need you to know how sorry I am.”

He hissed through his teeth, then he tossed me over his lap.

Oh god . I’d never done anything like this, and I couldn’t help but squirm. I was a mix of apprehension and anticipation.

“Ready?” he said roughly.

“Yes—”

Tucker’s hand came down on my ass over my tights.

A startled cry left me, and I jerked and squirmed on his lap as the sting radiated from the point of contact.

“Keep still,” he said, “and take what your husband gives you. You know it’s what you deserve.”

I bit my lip and nodded.

His hand slid over my spandex-clad ass, squeezing one cheek, then the other, and I was all but panting to keep myself from squirming again.

He tugged my tights and underwear down, exposing my bare ass. Tucker growled low, like a freaking grizzly, and gripped one of my ass cheeks again, but tighter. “I told you, you needed to be a good girl, Libby. I told you, but you weren’t, were you?”

I shook my head, more tears welling in my eyes. “N-no.”

“No,” he repeated. “You were very bad.”

“I’m sorry,” I choked out.

He made another rough sound. “You treated me like I was nothing, like I was nothing to you…when you were everything to me.”

I swallowed down my sob, his words like blows to my heart, coming one after another.

His hand came down on my ass then, before I could beg his forgiveness, and I jolted again, a cry bursting from me.

He rested his hand where he’d spanked me, massaging over my hot, stinging flesh. “Tell me you’re sorry again.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

His hand came down again, on the other cheek this time. “I don’t believe you. Again.”

“I’m s-sorry, Tucker. I’m so sorry.”

Another slap, this one harder. I hung on to the arm of the chair, moaning into the fabric. It stung, but it…god, it sent throbbing heat to my core.

“Again.”

“I’m sorry,” I cried out, louder this time.

Slap . “Again.”

My pussy clutched, spasming around nothing. I moaned louder. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed, this time unable to hold back my cry, and I squirmed because I couldn’t stop myself. My thighs were slick, sliding against each other.

Slap. “Tell me you’ll never leave me again,” he said, breathing heavily, his big frame trembling under me.

I squeezed my eyes closed, my ass lifting higher as I jolted against him. “I’ll never leave you again,” I choked out.

His hot palm slid over my throbbing cheek and he massaged it, then dipped his fingers between my tightly clenched thighs, sliding over my pussy, teasing the opening, dipping the tip of his finger inside me.

“Tucker, please.”

He was breathing heavily, the silence stretching out.

“Tell me you love me,” he finally said, his big body shaking now as he slid two fingers deep inside me, making me gasp.

I whimpered, my heart slamming wildly in my chest. I did. I did love him, but I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t say the words, because there would be no taking them back. He wouldn’t know they were real, but I’d know, and if I said them, how could I leave him? How could I leave him alone again?

I tried to spread wider for him, but my tights and underwear just above my knees stopped me. “Please,” I gasped out again.

He yanked his fingers from me and slapped my pussy. I cried out and squeezed my thighs together as tightly as I could, moaning when I almost came.

“Say it,” he said, his voice rough, broken. “I need to hear you say it, Libby. Tell me you love me.”

More tears slid down my cheeks. I was close to falling apart.

My emotions were all over the place, my heart was breaking, while it pumped full at the same time.

He loved me, but I could never have him, not now, not after this.

Not after hurting him the way I had, then coming here and lying to him, keeping the truth from him.

“Say it,” he said again, louder, a demand.

He needed it, he needed that from me, I heard it in the desperation in his voice.

He brought his hand down on my ass one more time. “I love you,” I cried out, jolting against him, the words forced from deep within me.

He released a ragged breath and lifted me, planting me on the floor on my hands and knees, then Tucker was behind me, the head of his cock pressed against my opening.

“Say it again,” he rasped.

I dragged in a shudder, biting back another sob. “I love you.”

He slammed inside me, and I came instantly, screaming his name. Tucker didn’t slow, he fucked me so hard my arms gave out.

“My precious little wife, my perfect Libby,” he said roughly. “I love you. I fucking love you.” He groaned as he thrust into me over and over, deep and hard, claiming me in a way I didn’t know was possible, in a way I felt branded from it—that I would never recover from.

He didn’t slow, didn’t let up, and I came again with a desperate moan, spasming around his relentless cock.

“That’s it, that’s it, darlin’,” he groaned. “Take it, take it all. Gonna put a baby in that soft belly, then you won’t leave, then you won’t ever leave me.”

I whimpered. “Please, I need to feel you coming inside me.”

Tucker growled and cursed, then slammed in so deep, he forced the air from my lungs. His cock throbbed heavily, filling me, and he didn’t stop his brutal thrusts until he was completely spent.

I lay beneath him, gasping, trying to catch my breath, my mind spinning and my body humming. My ass was hot and tingling, and my pussy was sensitive and still lightly pulsing.

Tucker ran his hand down my back and over my bottom, then he cursed. “Are you okay?” he choked out. “Ruth? Shit, are you all right?”

He’d scared himself. I heard it in his voice. “I’m good,” I said as he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the floor. “I promise,” I said and watched as his eyes widened on my face.

I knew without looking that my mouth was dark and puffy from biting my lips when he spanked me, and I could only guess that my eyes were red and puffy like the rest of my face from crying.

“I made you cry,” he said, sounding horrified. “Fuck, what you told me about your father…what he did…I didn’t mean to?—”

I pressed my fingers to his lips. “Yes, I cried, but not because you hurt me.” Not physically, anyway. The truth hurts, and Tuck had hammered home the truth of what I’d done. “The scene, it was intense, that’s all.”

“I hit you. Your ass is red, my handprint?—”

I stopped him again. “I liked being spanked, and I liked the way you took me, don’t you dare think otherwise. I consented because I wanted it too. I think”—I looked into his haunted eyes—“that what we just did was somehow healing for you.”

His Adam’s apple slid up and down his throat and he nodded.

I gave him a soft smile and held the side of his face, my palm against his beard, and slid my thumb over the smooth skin of his cheek above it. “Well, it was for me as well.”

“It was?” he asked roughly, hopefully.

“I think I needed that as much as you did.” He had no idea how much.

He released a shuddering breath, then slid his fingers into my hair, drawing me closer and kissed my forehead. Then he looked down at me. “Now I’m gonna take care of you,” he said, lifting me in his arms and heading upstairs.

He set me on the bed and strode into the bathroom.

I heard the water turn on. He was filling the tub.

Tuck came back out and helped me out of my clothes, because I was still feeling shaky after what we’d just done.

His gaze moved over my naked body. There was concern, tenderness, and somehow there was hunger still in his eyes as well.

I watched as he stripped, then he scooped me back up.

“I can walk, you know,” I said, laughing a little.

He strode into the bathroom and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “My woman doesn’t walk when I can carry her.”

His woman. We were back to playing, obviously. I pressed a kiss to his chest, and he squeezed me tighter, then stepped into the bath, maneuvering me so I was between his legs, my back to his front.

“Comfortable?” he asked, running his hands up and down my arms.

“Extremely. I could stay right here all night.”

Then I sat there as he slowly, carefully washed my hair, then ran a soft washcloth over my body. He didn’t call me Libby or Ruth the whole time, but he made me feel special.

By the time he was done, my eyes were stinging and there were more tears threatening.

Tucker could have been mine.

But I’d been a coward. And I’d thrown him away.