Page 14 of Lion of Thunder (De Lohr Dynasty: Sons of de Lohr #5)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“I thought I might find you here.”

Harker had been in the guardhouse, gazing at the darkened countryside from the iron-barred window that showed the immediate area of the front gate. When he was in the guardhouse, the men were not because Harker chased them out. He believed they should be doing their duty, not gathering in a room, talking and laughing and drinking. Therefore, the small chamber was quite empty when Esther entered.

At the sound of her voice, Harker turned to see her heading toward the small hearth, holding her hands out to the heat. He watched her for a moment, a handsome woman with green eyes and her daughter’s auburn hair color, though in her case she kept it wound up on her head and usually under a wimple. But not tonight. Tonight, she was without her headdress as she warmed herself by the fire.

“And so you have found me,” he said, still by the window. “How may I serve you, Lady Ledbury?”

Esther shook her head. “There is nothing,” she said. “I simply came to see how things were. Have you seen Marius at all?”

Harker nodded. “This afternoon,” he said. “But he vanished toward sunset.”

Esther grunted. “He is probably back in his chamber, drowning himself in another barrel of wine,” she said. “He was sober today, you know. He dealt with Hereford and his son like the Marius of old until it all became too much for him. I did not realize how much I missed Marius until this afternoon. It was good to see him back in form.”

Harker didn’t want to hear that even though she had every right to say it. When one was in love with his liege’s wife as long as he had been, he didn’t want to hear her speak kindly or even affectionately about another man, even if it was her husband.

He’d given his heart to a woman he could never have.

That was his curse.

“And you?” he asked softly. “How are you feeling today?”

She glanced at him, knowing that tone in his voice. It was usually before he ravaged her and, quite honestly, he had been her rock during a very difficult time. The man was big and strong and warm and not shy about sharing himself with her. She found herself looking at the crotch of his breeches, knowing what they were concealing. She felt warm just thinking about it.

“Well,” she said, looking back to the fire, “I feel… well. The marriage of Ella and Hereford’s son will go forward tomorrow. Have you sent word to the priest at St. Andrew’s as I asked?”

He nodded. “I have,” he said. “I will send men to escort him here at dawn.”

“Good,” Esther said. “Then they shall be married and all will be well.”

“And you are certain of that?”

She nodded. “I hope so,” she said. “They seem to be tolerating one another well after their troubled introduction. After they are married, I am assuming Westley will live here, since he will one day inherit this place, and that means we must make him welcome. You will make room for him, Harker. He will be your liege someday.”

Harker shook his head. “Not me,” he said. “When Marius dies, I will return to Westphalia. I will go home. There will be no reason to remain.”

She looked at him in surprise. “Not even for me?”

He turned back to the window. “You are not my wife,” he said. “I will return home and find a young woman to bear me a son.”

Esther was about to become upset when she realized she heard her own words in his statement. Long had she tried to talk him into finding a young wife so he could have children, but he had always refused. The two of them had engaged in a relationship for years, something Marius was probably unaware of, but even if he was, he’d never said anything. He probably didn’t care. Esther knew it was wrong, but Harker offered her what Marius could not—

Warmth.

Warmth, attention, compassion. Everything Marius couldn’t. But she knew Harker well and sensed that his mood was dark this night, beyond the comments of his returning home and leaving her. It seemed to Esther that something else was on his mind.

“Harker?” she said. “What is it?”

He was still looking out the window. “What do you mean?”

“You seem preoccupied.”

He shook his head. “Not really,” he said. “I was simply thinking about the future Lord Ledbury.”

It took Esther a moment to figure out who he meant. “Sir Westley?”

“Aye. Sir Westley.”

“What about him?”

Harker didn’t answer right away. “What do you think of him?”

Esther shrugged. “I do not know,” she said. “I have not been around him very much. Why? What do you think of him?”

Harker paused a moment longer before turning around and looking at her. “I think he bears watching.”

“Why would you say that?”

The man shrugged and moved away from the window, in her direction. “Because he is arrogant,” he said. “He is a man who has had everything handed to him and he believes he is better than everyone else. That kind of man is difficult to live with. He has no humility.”

Esther considered that. “He seems polite enough,” she said. “Ella seems to like him, and that is truly all that matters.”

Harker pulled up a stool, holding his hands out in front of the fire also. “I see a future where Westley de Lohr will wipe the name of du Nor from history,” he muttered. “He will turn Massington into just another de Lohr property. Ledbury and Staunton will become his titles, no longer a du Nor title. Even the title Duc de Nevele will become a de Lohr title. That arrogant young fool will become the lord of everything.”

Esther was watching him closely, sensing some jealousy in his tone. “There is nothing we can do about it,” she said. “Why does it concern you so?”

Harker looked at her. “It does not,” he said wryly. “It does not concern me because I’ve not lived here for many years. I’ve not served flawlessly, and when Marius dies, I shall receive everything. Won’t I? Of course I will not. This fortress, which has become my home, will go to someone who already has everything in the world. Nay, lady, none of this concerns me. I will simply go home and rebuild my life once Marius dies. I could not have his wife. I could not have his castle. So, I will go home.”

That was as much as Harker had ever said about his situation at Massington in all of the years Esther had known him. He’d always seemed content to her, and perhaps he had been, but he certainly wasn’t content with Westley de Lohr here. She sensed bitterness and resignation, which was unlike him. Yet, on the other hand, she didn’t blame him. Westley’s arrival signaled the future of Massington, and it was something Harker didn’t want to be part of.

There wasn’t much she could say to him about that.

“Well,” she said softly, gently touching his hand, “there is no use in dwelling over it. Life is never fair. If it was, we would be happy and we would be together.”

Harker snorted softly. “If it were fair, I would be a great knight in a great house, with children by my side and the woman I loved,” he said. “I would have money and power. I would have everything. But I learned that life is not fair a very long time ago. Mostly, it does not bother me, but there are times when it does.”

“Like now.”

“Like now,” he agreed, his thoughts moving to darker places. “You are aware that Olan is in love with Ella, aren’t you?”

Esther nodded faintly. “I know.”

“De Lohr’s arrival signifies the end of fairness for him, too,” he said. “He must watch the woman he loves marry another man. The entire situation with de Lohr is disheartening for more than me. It affects Olan, too.”

Esther sighed. “There is nothing I can do about that,” she said. “Marius did not want a minor knight for his only daughter. He wanted a great house and that is what he got, so lamenting over it is useless. We must simply accept it.”

We must simply accept it.

Harker didn’t want to accept it. He was disturbed by it more than he’d thought he would be. Perhaps he wouldn’t have been had Westley not tried to usurp his position by claiming to know more about training than he did, but he had. And Harker was growing increasingly discontented about it.

“You must accept it because your daughter is marrying into the family,” he said after a moment. “But I do not have to accept it. In fact, I may leave tomorrow. I do not wish to serve under that arrogant arse.”

Esther looked at him with concern. “Please do not leave me,” she said softly. “I know this is not an ideal situation, but I need you here, Harker. If you are not here, I will surely go mad.”

He looked at her, seeing a frightened woman, one he’d given much of his time to. It hadn’t been a love match, but more of a power move. She was the Lady of Massington, after all. He was simply a knight. There had been times when she had submitted to his will. But he was fond of her. Perhaps even fond enough to stay.

Maybe .

“Do not trouble yourself,” he said, winking at her. “I am angry, and when I am angry, I say things that are not always true. Let us see what tomorrow brings, my lady. Let us see how this marriage happens and what the future holds.”

He said enough without really saying anything, but he was able to ease Esther. She smiled timidly, turning her attention back to the fire as Harker’s attention wandered to the wedding on the morrow. He didn’t feel any differently about the situation, or about Westley, but he was going to follow his own advice.

Let us see what the future holds.

For Harker of Kent, tomorrow would more than likely be a day of decisions.