Page 34 of Light Locked #1
“But you said–”
“I know what I said,” he cut her off with an edge in his voice and still she grappled to understand his intensity. “I never wanted to die in the woods at the hands of beasts like that, but you’ve changed things. You have profoundly healed what should never have been healed. ”
Her hands pushed on his chest. She locked her eyes into his, undaunted by their closeness as dismay boiled in the pit of her stomach.
“You act like it’s a crime,” she said. “I could not have let you die. The least you could do is not chastise me for it. I’m exhausted.
My own people could never blame me. They hid your existence from me.
And the witness was an Insendian. What does that matter?
Is it also such a profound crime to them? ”
“No,” Ryson breathed steadily. She felt his chest lower with the breath, felt it wash over her. His eyes scanned her face, his expression softening in a strange way that seemed to alter the air between them. “Not a crime.”
She marveled at the pain in his expression as his gaze lingered on her eyes, her nose, her lips, and then her eyes again.
The slow path of his eyes stirred her and she was restless and eager for him to speak again.
“You,” he started and shook his head slightly, “on its own, that was a profound and powerful gift. There was nothing but kindness in it, which is why all of this burdens me like it does. I am an Insednian,” he repeated.
“Through their eyes, you rescued one of their treasured talismans from human hands, delivered them directly to me, and then proceeded to spend what remained of your ansra to heal layers of deep wounds that have remained untouched for…years. No. It would not be perceived as a crime. Rather, an offering.”
“An offering?” Clea said, still struggling to understand the gravity of the act .
“Gifts of such magnitude have a wicked way of binding fates together,” Ryson continued. “I am going to do everything I must in order to save you and set you free. Then, if the chance presents itself, leave me behind when you escape.”
His arms moved around her as if he wanted to touch her face, to imprint the words on her mind, on her heart.
He spoke as if he were begging her, his gaze full of both sympathy and regret as he finished, “Leave me behind and you might be able to free yourself from their interest, from any risk that they might accept your offering and repay it in kind.” His next words gave her chills.
“Leave me behind at all cost, but it is better yet if you kill me. It is best if you can do it in full audience of a crowd.”
“I couldn’t help but heal you,” she breathed, offense stealing the breath out of her lungs. “How could you dare ask me to kill you?”
“I’m not proposing that you seek me out,” he said, “but should opportunities arise, should we be pitted against each other in some contest or game, if you need a chance to prove your power, anything to your advantage, you mustn’t let the opportunity pass.”
Contest? Game? Opportunity?
The words echoed through her and she was exhausted again.
She turned away from him, feeling wounded.
“The gift you’re trying to give,” she whispered, overwhelmed as tears stung her eyes, “injures me tremendously. You’ve shown yourself to be a true friend only as you remove yourself entirely. ”
“I can’t apologize,” he said.
“I know,” she replied.
“If you want to get the medallion to Loda, these could be choices you have to make.”
“I know,” she replied, settling into the silence before closing her eyes and muttering with surprising confidence, “It’s all going to be okay.”
Ryson’s silence seemed to request an explanation, and sleepily, she began, “My parents once had an esteemed miracle worker come to diagnose our disease.”
He exhaled and she could feel his reluctance to move onto a different topic, but consented regardless. “Seems unusual for Lodain royalty to consult with outsiders.”
“They were desperate,” Clea said tiredly. “This woman claimed that the illness would take the rest of my siblings. She pointed to each one and shouted their fates. They were still dragging her out when she pointed at me and said that my death would wait behind a golden door.”
“Hmph,” he said.
“So you see?” she mumbled. “Until I see a golden door, I have no cause to take your words seriously.”
There was a long pause.
“You think about that golden door thing a lot?” he asked.
“Lately, I think about it all the time. It’s comforting. ”
His chest bumped up once beneath her, and she thought for a moment it was a chuckle. She looked up to see him looking off, smiling for a moment before he bit it down.
“What?” she said, pushing against him.
“It’s nothing,” he replied.
She shoved him with her wrists. “You just promised not to lie to me.”
He looked mildly embarrassed as he avoided her gaze. “This woman was a miracle worker, so an outsider from the forest?”
Clea nodded. “Yes. What?”
“No one can harness either cien or ansra to truly see the future, so she was likely speaking these things over you, not telling the future. I want to clarify that before I add what I’m going to say next.”
She straightened in his arms, staring intently.
“I’m sure she meant a literal golden door,” he said, “it’s just that a golden door in Kaletik lore is usually symbolic for knowledge.”
She stared blankly at him. “You’re joking.”
“You’ve walked through plenty of golden doors lately,” Ryson said, “I’m sure you’re immune at this point.”
Clea sunk into his chest, staring blankly forward as she exhaled in numb exasperation, “By ansra, my entire life is a lie. ”
She felt him chuckle again beneath her.
“It’s not funny,” she said.
“You have to admit,” Ryson replied, “at this stage, that part is a little funny.”
She released a mixture of a laugh and a groan as she rubbed her face with her shackled hands. She was ultimately grateful for the humor, for soon no more words remained, only anticipation.