Page 22 of Light in Your Eyes (Romero Brothers #1)

Kellan

It's been a while since Layla came into this house, and her existence is making me crazy.

I can't stop thinking about how she snuggles on the bed beside me, her annoying singing every time she takes a shower, and her voice every time she opens her mouth.

It's not like I haven't heard a girl's voice before, but there's something about her voice that can't leave my mind. Even her sigh and yawn are haunting me.

Why the hell does she have to sound so lively—and sometimes so fierce—but I can also hear her softness and vulnerability? It doesn't make any sense.

If this is what it feels to live with a girl, I'd rather lock myself up in a mountain and live with a fucking bear.

Another thing that I can't fight is her scent. Goddammit , her scent... I wish I never knew it. She smells of delicate flowers and sweets. I fucking hate it.

In my case, there's only a thin line between hating it and being obsessed with it. I hate it because I can't control how much it affects me. I don't want to admit that I'm a fucking creep, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't try to sniff her scent on the bedsheets.

Today, I'm taking my evening jog around the house when I feel someone's footsteps rushing behind me. I don't need to face the person to know who it is. The footsteps belong to Layla.

She's panting and trying to catch up with my pace because her steps are way too short compared to mine.

"Kellan," her voice greets me again, and annoyingly, my heart almost skips a beat.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Why is my heart not being cooperative every time she's trying to warm up to me?

The wind blows through my skin, and I close my eyes, inhaling the air. The smell of the grass is overwhelming—it's going to rain soon. I can smell the rain even though it hasn't started yet. We need to go back inside as soon as possible because I hate being in the rain.

Unfortunately, Layla is about to waste my time again.

I turn around to face her. She halts her movement, and I can feel her staring up at me.

"You haven't told me about your practice schedule tonight," she asks, still trying to catch her breath. "Will you be in the boxing ring again? What about dinner? When do you prefer to have it?"

"What the fuck are you doing?" I snap, trying to control my emotions. "Why do you have to always follow me? I'm not a fucking child. I can take care of myself, and I was doing just fine before you came here. How many times do I have to tell you that you're fucking annoying?"

Layla is silent, and I realize that my words might be too harsh.

"I'm sorry." To my surprise, she utters those words. She indeed sounds guilty. "I didn't mean to barge into your personal space. I didn't mean to disturb your privacy. I just—" she stumbles upon her words, sounding like she's in trouble. "There's something I..."

I frown, waiting for her explanation. Strangely, my pulse quickens, like I'm afraid that something bad is actually happening to her.

She's still trying to find the right words when the rain starts to pour down on us. I curse. The more seconds pass, the harder the rain falls.

I stomp away from Layla to find a place to shield us from the rain. It will be too far to go back into the house because we're at the farthest spot in the backyard. If I didn't hate rain so much, I would consider that option.

Before I know it, I'm running toward a gazebo not so far away from where we are. I remember precisely where it is, so I don't have any problem finding it even though I'm blind. I know every part of this property like the back of my hand.

The harsh pouring of the rain against my body is already making my blood boil. The sound of it falling hard is blocking my hearing.

Fucking rain. I fucking hate it.

I stop under the gazebo, panting. Layla arrives beside me. She's also panting, but not as hard as I am.

"What's wrong?" she asks with concern, noticing that this is not a normal reaction to the weather.

I shut my eyes, clenching my fists tightly at my sides. "I hate it." My voice sounds like a rasp. I open my eyes again .

"What?"

"The rain."

For a long moment, none of us speaks. Only the sound of the rain falling hard echoes around us.

"Why?" Layla finally asks again. She sounds genuinely worried, which breaks down my walls.

"It makes me feel helpless," I say, surprising myself that I'm actually admitting it out loud.

This girl is slowly making me let out my pent-up emotions. I don't even know how she does that.

Layla doesn't push for more elaboration, but the words are already on the tip of my tongue.

"I hate how the rain falls on my body," I say. "It's fucking harsh, like it's trapping all my senses. I'm already blind, so I don't like feeling it."

She stays silent, and I continue, "The rain also washes away all the other smells and scents. I feel like all my clues have disappeared. It also impairs my hearing ability because all I can hear is the sound of it pouring harshly all around me."

Now, all I can hear is indeed the sound of the rain. If Layla didn't stand next to me, I wouldn't be able to hear her.

"That sounds so gloomy," she says, causing me to frown. "On the other hand," she continues with a cheerful voice, "I see rain as something good. Happiness."

I can imagine the big smile on her face as she says that.

"I like to play and dance in the rain," she says. "You're right. All we can feel and hear is the rain itself, but it feels liberating, like we don't have to think about anything else. We shut up the entire world, and we can just do anything we want."

I feel her moving toward the rain, and that makes me alert. What the hell is she going to do?

Her laughter rings in the air as she allows herself to get drenched in the rain. She sounds so happy, like a little girl.

"Oh God. It feels so good." She squeals between laughter.

She then hums, moving. The sound of water splattering on the ground lets me know that she's twirling and dancing in the rain.

"Are you crazy?" I hiss.

"Come on." She approaches me and takes my hands, trying to drag me into the rain. Her fingers are cold, but she doesn't sound like the coldness bothers her.

My hands are shivering, and it's fucking embarrassing.

"It's okay." Her soft voice is so close to me, trying to calm me. "I'll show you something so that you don't have to be afraid of the rain anymore."

The idea sounds so tempting. I somehow manage to push my ego aside. Slowly, I walk off the gazebo, letting the rain attack me.

As usual, I feel trapped, especially since it's falling so hard right now.

"Easy," she says gently, still clasping my hands.

I feel like a lost and wounded animal, and she is my only anchor.

"You think too much," she says. "Just this once, don't think about anything else. You're okay. You're safe."

I swallow, feeling like her soft voice is the only light for me in this darkness.

I look up toward the sky as drops of rain fall onto my face.

"Can you feel it?" she asks, still with the same gentleness. "Feel the rain. Breathe it. It's not going to harm you. It's not trying to trap you. It wants to wash away all your pain."

I don't know why I'm letting someone speak to me about something so intense and emotional, but I want to believe her words. I'm now in the middle of conquering one of my biggest fears. I'm sure that I would become even worse if I didn't believe her words.

I close my eyes and inhale deeply, sucking as much air as I need into my lungs. Instead of breathing fear, I'm trying to feel what it really is.

Fresh. Slightly cold. But refreshing.

It doesn't smell so bad anymore. It's the smell of nature, and it's not my enemy. If it's true that it's trying to wash away all my pain, I will completely let it.

There's nothing I need more than to let go of my pain—the pain that has been torturing me since the day my world shattered.

When I open my eyes again, a lone tear rolls down my cheek, and I'm grateful that she can't see it. It would look just like another drop of rain running down my face.

"Dance with me," she asks teasingly, and I can imagine her plastering a smile.

A sudden urge to see how she looks when she smiles consumes me.

How does she look when she smiles?

"Come on." A giggle bursts from her mouth as she touches my shoulder while still holding my hand with her other hand .

She starts to guide me through the steps, and then we're dancing in the rain.

She dances so effortlessly. I don't think that she knows what she's doing because this is the silliest movement that I've ever done in my life. But she doesn't give a damn. She dances like nothing else matters.

Just like she said, the rain is making us forget the entire world and letting us do any goddamn thing we want.

She laughs, making a twirl and holding my hand. The sound of her laughter combined with the sound of the rain falling is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life, and I don't ever want this to end.

My thoughts catch me off guard, and I halt my movement, startling her. The rain has gradually turned into drizzling. It's not falling hard anymore, and my other senses start to grow back.

"Kellan?" Layla asks. "What's wrong?"

A thunder suddenly strikes, causing her to scream and stumble into my chest. I automatically hold her in my arms, and in this very moment, I can feel how hard her heart is beating against mine—how hard our hearts are beating.

"Sorry," she stutters, quickly pulling away from me.

An awkward silence falls, so I speak to her, "You still haven't told me why you're following me today. You were saying that there was something—"

I can't continue my sentence because I don't know the answer. I can feel her hesitance, and I'm trying my best to hold my anxiety.

"Well," she starts, sounding like she feels ashamed about what she's about to say. "I've been following you around because I still don't feel safe roaming around this house alone."

Anger crawls into me like a sickening disease.

"Especially around mealtime," she continues. "I know that you saved me and that no one would want to cross you, but those guys are such jerks, they are still trying to intimidate me while they can—"

I can't hear the rest. With rage consuming my body, I walk away from her and storm back toward the house.

"Kellan," she shouts, rushing up to catch me. "Wait."

The sound of her shoes stomping on the ground and making the water splash echoes in my ear, but I don't stop. I keep striding toward the house.

I'm not your fucking hero.

I remember the words I said to her—the words I've been trying to plant in my head because there's no way that I could be that to her.

"Kellan, please," Layla demands, following me. "What's wrong with you?" Her voice almost cracks. Frustration is evident in her tone.

I'm not your fucking hero.

Those words echo again and again in my head, taunting me and mocking me. What my heart wants, however, is far from that. Yet, the truth hits me hard. I can't be.

The fear of failing someone, of losing someone after trying to protect them, is still very much in my heart. I failed once, even though it almost cost my life.

I'm fucking blind now. I'm not destined to be a hero. Her hero. And it fucking makes me mad.

I'm so angry and out of control that I almost slip while walking down the small stairs on the way from the backyard. Layla quickly catches me, grabbing my arm, but the ground is so slippery that she falls.

I pant, my eyes wide in shock. I'm gripping the small railing with my other hand. I'm alright, but Layla...

She fell, and there was nothing I could do to prevent that. She was protecting me.

"Ouch," she hisses in pain.

Blood rushes to every vein in my body, and my heart feels like it's about to burst out of my chest. It's just a small step, so she can't be injured badly, but it doesn't make me less panic.

"I think I just sprained my ankle," she says, sounding like she's trying to hide her pain.

I explode. "What the fuck did you think you just do?" My voice booms, I can even hear her gasp in shock. "Did you even think before you did that? I told you countless times to fucking leave me alone. Did you ever fucking get what I said? For fuck's sake, just go away."

My chest rises and falls because of the way I speak, so brutally and mercilessly.

The sound of raindrops and my heavy breathing is the only thing that we can hear until her cries break.

"Why are you doing this?" The pain in her voice lets me know that my words were like daggers to her heart.

My fist is shaking as I hear her crying. Her sadness feels like knives slicing my soul.

I grit my teeth, holding my fucked-up emotions so that I wouldn't create more damage. I walk off, leaving her alone.