Page 54 of Let's Talk About Love

“Jesus Christ, MEGUMI, NO!” Megumi had begun to climb up the bookcase. Alice flew across the room so fast she barely registered jumping over the coffee table.

“Pick me up, too!” Mayumi hopped up and down, arms outstretched.

“No, Alice is mine!” Megumi wrapped her arms around Alice’s neck. She blew a raspberry at her sister, getting spit in Alice’s hair.

“Why don’t we sit on the couch, okay?” she asked, trying not to sound as frantic as she felt. “We can sit together.”

“No!” Mayumi latched on to Alice’s leg. Alice began to drag Mayumi across the room like that, which only made Mayumi wrap her tiny legs around Alice’s calf and laugh like she was on a pony ride at a birthday party. She even said, “Wheeeee!”

“Couch. Down. Now,” Alice said, imitating Aisha’s favorite tone—the one she reserved specifically for giving Alice orders.

Both girls jumped onto the sofa with a clear space between them.

“You can sit here!” Megumi.

“Sit with us!” Mayumi.

“Oh God,” Alice muttered under her breath. “Who likes cartoons? Do you like cartoons?” Takumi (thankfully) had only one remote that controlled everything. His Netflix had an account labeledTwins. “How about Winnie the Pooh?”

“What’s that?”

“We likeBubble Guppies.”

Alice didn’t know what unholy underwater hell a Bubble Guppy came from, and this was not the day she planned to find out, if ever.

“Pooh Bear it is.”

Nice, calming, relaxing Winnie the Pooh.

Wrong.

The second Alice began to sing along with the opening credits to help them get interested, they wouldn’t let her stop. Mayumi swiped the remote and hit rewind while they both shouted, “Again! Again!”

“There are other songs in the show. I can sing those, too,” Alice said.

Five repeats later and she still had hope they’d see reason. At least they’d stopped climbing and flipping over everything. And had stopped fighting over who got to sit in her lap.

Small victories.

When the front door opened, Takumi took one look at Alice’s face and burst out laughing. “Be glad I didn’t ask you to give them baths. It would have been way worse.” He took the groceries into the kitchen.

“Be right back, girls,” Alice said, jumping up and helping Takumi with the bags.

To her surprise, they didn’t protest.

(They probably never acted like tiny terrors from planet Toddler when they were with him.)

“Never let them see you sweat,” he said, unloading one of the bags. “Once they figure out that you’ll overreact, they won’t stop. They think it’s hilarious.”

“You didn’t tell me that,” she said.

“You did fine. Cheated a little bit with the TV, but I’m still impressed. They’re not hurt, you didn’t lose one of them, and they like you.”

“Like to torment me, maybe.” She crossed her arms.

“That wasn’t torment, trust me. It’s why I watch them so often—no one else can handle them. All the other babysitters quit.”

“And you left me alone with them?”