Page 44 of Let’s Pretend I’m Okay

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

DANIEL

Hot tears pour down my cheeks as I step closer. She’s so peaceful lying there with her eyes closed. Annie steps out of the way, dabbing her face with a tissue.

Mr. Blakely turns his back to everyone, unable to look at her anymore, but he’s crying just as hard.

I stumble forward as the room closes in on me. She looks like she could just open her eyes, but I know I’ll never see her big brown eyes again. I love her brown eyes. I love her. When I touch Margo’s hand, her skin is still warm.

“You said, ‘I’ll see you later,’?” I whisper, voice cracking.

My head pounds and my tears stream down my face.

Annie touches my arm. “I’m sorry.”

I shake her off, staggering back. I can’t breathe anymore. I open my mouth, searching for air, but my lungs don’t work. My pulse races, my stomach turns, and I have to get out of here. I can’t handle seeing her like this.

I run out of the room, crashing into Laura. She steadies me, holding me up by the shoulders. “Daniel, talk to me. ”

My lip quivers as I look at her. “Margo’s—” I can’t finish my sentence. I can’t bring myself to say she’s dead.

Laura puts her hand on my cheek and wipes the tears away, but they come right back. “I’m so sorry.”

She tries to hug me, but I push away from her and run again.

Margo made me feel whole. Now, I feel like half of my body has been ripped away from me. I have a gaping hole where she used to be. I want her to wrap me in her arms and tell me I’ll be okay. I want to listen to her voice. I just want her.

I’m not ready to let her go. She was supposed to be there when I showed up. I was supposed to braid her hair.

Margo was a good person. She loved people. She tried her best to take care of everyone around her.

She shouldn’t be allowed to die.

I bolt down then hallway until I find a spot where no one else is. A corner hidden away from the world where I can sink to the floor. I bury my head in my arms as my body rocks from my sobs. I cry until my throat is raw and I have no tears left.

I’m numb.

Broken.

Lost.

I cry until I’m hollow. Until there’s nothing left but a shell of a boy leaning against the wall.