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S ophia hurt so much , like someone had taken her right arm and ripped it off. The last thing she wanted was to be away from Connor, but her cell counts weren’t going up on their own. It was looking like her bone marrow had given up the ghost and wasn’t producing much of anything.

Losing Con, never seeing him again, not being able to touch him, was a sort of emotional torture, but he had a life to live and now he might actually want to live it.

She hated the confused hurt she saw on his face. She’d done that, wounded him, but she couldn’t take it back. It was better than letting him watch her die.

He froze, absolutely motionless for a second, then his expression morphed into confusion and uncertainty.

So much pain on his face, and she’d put it there.

She wanted to take it all back, apologize for hurting him and promise whatever he needed to give her back her confident soldier again, but her death would hurt him so much more.

This was the lesser of the two evils.

The pain receded from his face, replaced by anger, irritation, and resolve.

Uh oh. The soldier was back.

“You shut that shit up,” he growled at her.

Great, he was going to get stubborn. “Con, this isn’t something you can bulldoze your way through. You can’t stare it into submission or order it to stop. I’m deathly ill.”

“Exactly,” he said, bending down.

What was he doing? Unlacing his boots?

“You think I’m going to leave you to deal with this alone?” He toed his boots off, then began unbuttoning his uniform shirt. “I’m not going anywhere you aren’t.”

“But—”

“No buts. You can order other people around. Not me.” He threw his shirt on the floor and crawled onto the bed.

“What are you doing, you stupid man?” she hissed. He was supposed to leave. Hurt, yes, but better than the prolonged agony of watching her die a slow death. “The nurse could come in at any moment.”

He gathered her up, sliding one arm under her while the other coaxed her into rolling up against him. It didn’t take much coaxing. He gave heat off like a furnace and she was so cold. Despite her brain telling her body to push him away, she snuggled into him and returned the full-body hug. “You are the biggest stubborn idiot I know.”

He rubbed her back and nuzzled her hair. “But I’m your stubborn idiot.”

She was glad, so glad he was, but oh, how she was going to hurt him.

She started to cry.

He held her, his hands cradling her close as he murmured gentle words in her ear.

Someone opened the door to her room, paused, then closed it again.

At some point, she fell asleep.

She wasn’t sure where she was at first when she woke, but it came back to her in a flash. The rustle of paper pulled her attention to the chair next to her bed. Max was sitting in it, reading out of a file folder.

Con was gone.

“Max?” She tried to sit up, but he raised his hand and gestured for her to lie back down.

“Relax, Doctor. Everything is okay.”

She doubted that very much. “Did you find Akbar?”

Max’s face grew cold. “No, the bastard got away.”

“Oh no.”

Max nodded. “He’s leading us on a merry chase. He’s even started a correspondence with me.”

“How is he doing that?”

“He’s writing messages on corpses and leaving them where they’ll be found.”

He was devolving? “He’s turned into some kind of mass serial killer.”

“Yes, and unfortunately, he’s not done killing.”

Her throat was so tight, she could hardly swallow. “How many people died in the refugee camp?”

“One thousand six hundred and four. We’ve done anti-mortem testing on several of the dead. All of them had rabies.” Max gave her a questioning look. “What are your feelings on Akbar? Will he continue to use rabies?”

She sighed. “He’d gone as far as he could go with the virus and he wasn’t satisfied with it. That’s why he wanted me. He thought, with my knowledge of the virus, that I could manipulate it in ways he couldn’t.”

“Is that why you destroyed your lab?”

“One of the reasons.” She thought about Akbar, how he talked, and what he said and didn’t say. “I think he’ll move on to a different pathogen. He doesn’t want us ready to combat anything he releases.”

“That’s not good news.”

“I did make an observation about him. He’s a chemist, not a doctor, so he approaches disease from a different perspective than we do. He looks at what he’s doing like a mathematician looks at a math problem—A plus B equals C. But diseases aren’t rational or linear. A plus B could also equal F or Y depending on any number of other factors that he’s not aware of.”

“Perhaps he doesn’t care about the other factors, or he’s willing to take risks to see if it makes things even worse than he intended?”

“That, too, could be true.” She looked at Max. “He’s completely uncaring about the pain and suffering of other people.”

“Oh, he cares.” Max looked particularly grim. “He wants them to feel as much pain as possible.” He put down the papers and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I’m sending you home. Your cell counts are all down. Without transfusions, you’d be impossible to transport.”

“My bone marrow is shutting down.”

“Likely, but we’re not going to do a bone marrow aspiration here to prove it. I want it done in a hospital that can provide the right treatment immediately after a determination is made as to what’s going on.”

“Am I fired?”

“You’re temporarily on inactive status,” Max said with a shake of his head. “Here’s what I would like you to do. Go home. Focus on getting better. After you’ve recovered, I can reactivate you, even if you work from home and we have to communicate via the internet. I want access to your brain even if your bone marrow is misbehaving.”

If she survived. “Assuming I do recover.”

“I have a friend, another hematologist, who’s got some outside-the-box ideas,” Max said with a hint of challenge in his gaze. “I’d like you to meet him. I think, between the two of you, there’s a possibility of a creative solution.”

“You’re grasping at straws, Max.”

His mouth tightened. “I’m trying to save one of the best minds I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with,” Max said with strained patience. “You’re a doctor with unique skills. You’re not here because you’re killer soldier material. You’re here to save the lives of soldiers and civilians alike from weapons they can’t see or combat on their own. Believe me, you are highly respected for what you did at the camp. Even General Stone claims not to be happy with some of your more explosive actions in public. In private, he wishes he could have seen the look on Akbar’s face when he realized you were blowing your lab up rather than let him have it.”

One corner of her mouth quirked up. “Angry, that’s how he looked.”

“I refuse to think anything other than positive.” Max smiled. It had a sad edge to it, but it was still a smile. “I don’t want to lose my friend and colleague, period.”

Her throat was so full of unshed tears all she could do was nod.

“River is going Stateside too, and Smoke is going on a six-week leave to rest and build strength after the bullet wound he took in the shoulder. He’s been on deployment for almost eighteen months, so he’s due for it.”

She cleared her throat and managed to ask, “What about Connor?”

“I’m keeping him with me for a little while,” Max said. “We’re going to work on predicting Akbar’s next possible moves and targets.”

“That’s good,” she managed to say, though her throat was so tight she found it difficult to breathe. “He’s very intelligent.”

“He’s still your official partner-slash-bodyguard. As a contractor, no one can cry fraternization either.”

Heat infused her face. Max had known about their intimate relationship?

He gathered up his papers and stood like he’d just delivered a weather update. “I promise to return him to you undamaged.”

“When is that going to be? Six months? A year?” She blinked away tears and couldn’t help asking, “What if I don’t get better?”

Max shook his head. “Are you with me on the plan or not?”

There was only one answer. “Yes, sir.”

“Good.”

An hour later, Eugene and Jones arrived, but didn’t have time to fill her in on their adventure, which started the moment they got on their transport plane. It hadn’t gone to their planned destination.

Though they didn’t touch each other, Sophia could see they were together in every sense of the word. “You’re not going to fool anybody,” she told them.

“About what?” Eugene asked.

“You two. No canoodling where anyone can catch you at it.”

“Who the fuck says canoodling?” Jones demanded.

“I’m sick, I can say whatever I want.”

Eugene was laughing too hard to add much to the conversation after that.

An hour before her plane was to leave, Con invaded her hospital room. He glanced around at the air-med-evac people and said, “I need a minute with the doctor.”

Nobody argued, though a couple looked irritated with the interruption.

As soon as they were gone, Con kneeled on the edge of her bed and leaned across her to brace his hands on the blankets. “You are going to be okay.” He paused, his shoulders tense, his knuckles white. “Say it.”

She had to fight tears, but managed to croak out, “I’m going to be okay.”

He clenched and unclenched his jaw. “Again.”

Tears rolled down her face. He looked terrified but tenacious, so she repeated, “I’m going to be okay.”

“Again.”

She smiled and cupped his cheek. He needed a promise to convince him. “Kidnappers couldn’t stop me, a fire couldn’t stop me, rabies couldn’t stop me, and an insane madman couldn’t stop me. I’m going to be okay.”

He bent his head and let out a huge breath. “Okay.” His chin came up and he kissed her. “That’s my girl.” He kept kissing her until she was dizzy.

Was he going to be okay?

She should remind him she needed him too.

“I’m sad,” she whispered to him as he nuzzled and nipped at her neck.

“About what?” He seemed only partially interested. His focus was on her neck, and it felt so good.

She pulled her blankets away, took one of his large hands and curved it around her breast. “I’m still a virgin.”

He reared back. “ Fuck .”

“Yes, please,” she said with a small smile.

He stared at her, his eyes hot and his face ruddy. “I made you a promise,” he said lowering himself until his lips brushed hers. “I plan on keeping it.”

“You’re going to have sex with me?”

He shook his head slowly. “I’m going to make love to you.”

She sighed, “Okay.” And he kissed her again.

***

T hree months later , Sophia stood in front of a group of soldiers who were beginning the process of becoming Special Forces soldiers. There were about thirty men present, and she was showing them how she collected samples for the Sandwich.

It was slow going because she wasn’t officially Army. She was a contractor working for the Biological Rapid Response Team, which meant she was considered fair game in the sexual sense. One of the trainees was particularly persistent. Said he had a thing for women with white-blonde hair.

She was trying to impress upon the entire group how important it was to work closely with their brRT teammate. “Communication is key. You don’t always know what piece of information might impact the situation.”

“Baby,” Mr. Persistent said, “you can say anything you want to me, just take off your clothes while you’re doing it.”

Some of the men laughed, but there were a quite few in the group who looked as irritated as Sophia felt.

She’d given him two warnings already and she was done. She shut up and glared at him until the quiet got uncomfortable.

She kept on staring, until he asked, “Can’t take a compliment?”

“Reducing me down to nothing more than a sexual object is not a compliment.” She glanced around at the rest. “You’re here to learn about biological weapons and how to detect and identify them, correct?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the group answered.

“I have two hours to give you information you might need to stay alive.” She checked her watch. “Mr. Persistent here has wasted fifteen minutes of that time. How many more minutes are you willing to waste?”

There was a moment of silence, then some general grumbling. Finally someone said, “None.”

“Excellent.” She carried on with her lecture.

At the end, before she could dismiss them, someone behind her cleared his voice. She turned to find Connor standing near the doorway.

Connor.

Wow, he looked good. Better than good, he looked healthy, in even better shape than the last time she’d seen him...lickable. The closer he got, the better he looked. Big, his muscles defined, his face shaved, his body fit. She could eat him all up.

Con moved up to stand next to her and she had trouble keeping her hands to herself.

He was here .

He met her gaze, only for a moment, but there was something wild and hot in his eyes.

The expression he gave their audience, however, was cool and controlled. “My name is Communications Sergeant Connor Button. Dr. Perry is my counterpart on the brRT. If you’re successful in your application to join the Special Forces, my job for the next six weeks will be to take over for Sergeant Stone, who gave you your first taste of our combatives program. In addition to all the other training you’ll be doing, I’ll be picking out a few of you to work with the Biological Rapid Response Team. If you have an interest in working with them, let me know.”

He turned to nod at her. “Carry on, Doctor.”

“Thank you, Sergeant.” She gave him a professional nod and regarded her students. “As you can see, trust will be an integral part of your relationship with your brRT teammate. It’s important to establish that early, so if things do go wrong, there aren’t any hesitations or questions in your mind about what should happen next or who should make which decisions. You both have a role and sometimes you’re going to lead, other times you’re going to have to let your teammate lead.”

As the men filed out at the end of the lecture, Con turned to give her a thorough visual examination. The heat she’d seen in his gaze a couple of minutes ago was gone. “How are you, Sophia?” His voice contained no emotion, no intonation from which she could interpret how he was feeling.

“Very well, thank you.” She watched him for any sign of happiness at seeing her, but he’d completely closed himself off. Trying to ignore the cold ball of concern at this distance he’d put between the two of them, she asked, “And you?”

“Fine.”

A burst of hysterical laughter escaped her. “Fine. You mean fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional?”

His nostrils flared, his gaze turned molten, and he took a menacing step toward her. “Yes, fine, because Max had me on a covert mission that didn’t allow me an opportunity to call you for three fucking long months. Fine, because during that entire time all I could think about was you and if you were getting better or if you were going to die on me while I was under.”

He took another step toward her, close enough to touch. “Fine, because after three months of being away from you, the only thing I want is to get us both naked and stay that way for as long as you’ll allow.”

“Oh.” When had she started to pant and why was it so hot in this room?

“The only reason I haven’t started is because I know this building has a security camera pointed right at us, and what I want to do with you isn’t meant for anyone else’s eyes but yours and mine.”

“So,” she said, breathless. “That all sounds...really good. When can we do all of that?”

He thrust his fingers through his short hair. “When are you off?”

“In a couple of hours. You?”

“The same. You’ve got a place?”

“Yes.”

“Give me the address.”

She did and he put it into his phone.

He speared her in place with a hot look. “If I touch you now, even for a hug, I’ll lose it.” He lowered his voice until it was only a growl. “God, I’ve missed you.”

She sniffed back the tears and managed to say, “I’ve missed you too.”

***

T wo hours later, Sophia arrived at her apartment outside the base at Fort Bragg, NC, kicked off her shoes and hoped Con would arrive before she hyperventilated.

He’d be here soon. Would he be hungry? Thirsty?

Before she could decide what to do her cell phone rang. She answered it, “Yes?”

“It’s Con. Buzz me in.” It wasn’t a request, and that didn’t bother her in the slightest.

She let him in, then paced in front of her apartment door until the heavy knock announced his arrival.

She yanked open the door.

He seemed to fill up the entire space between doorjambs.

He stared at her, and if she thought he looked hot under the collar before, it was nothing compared to how he looked now. There should be steam coming off him.

“Hi,” she said, suddenly nervous. “C...come in.”

He took two steps inside, dropped his duffel bag on the floor, then closed and locked the door.

She bounced on her feet and smiled, but she was afraid it was as unsteady as the rest of her. “Um.” Wow, he looked so good. “Take your boots off.”

He shook his head no.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

A slow grin lit up his face. “I love how focused you are, sweetheart, but we need to have a conversation before I remove any of my clothing, or we won’t get any talking done.”

“Even your boots?”

He laughed and the sound brought her to the brink of tears. She’d never heard him laugh like that before. Happy. Completely happy, without a ghost or regret in it.

His boots hit the floor with two loud thumps.