Page 47

Jade

How appropriate that it was raining. Even the sky felt pity for me.

Well, screw the sky and anyone else who wanted to tell me how sorry they were for me or would give me shit advice like he’s just one man, and there will be others .

I knew there would be others. I didn’t need anyone to tell me that.

What I doubted was that I would meet anyone like Red, and by that I meant someone who actually made me feel like I wasn’t all alone. Someone who made me feel like I had someone in this great, big, lonely world.

I knew I had my newfound family, but that wasn’t the same thing, and we all knew it.

My sisters were great, and I didn’t know what I would do without them now that I had them in my life.

I supposed you could say I’d become somewhat attached to those lovable weirdos.

But it was nice to let my walls down a bit—okay, so Red sort of forced them down, basically took a sledgehammer to them, but still—and let a man in.

The only problem was that I didn’t get the guy in the end, and now I had no one to blame but myself.

Someone had once told me that you knew you met your person when you started to see them in your future.

When you’d think about going to see a movie with them, only the movie wouldn’t be playing in theaters for months.

When you’d think about a new restaurant opening in the city and couldn’t think of a single person you’d want to go with besides them.

In every scenario, in every future event, Red was the only one I wanted right by my side.

Boy, was I a fool.

I was a fool to ever let things get this far.

I’d done it before, and you’d think a girl would have learned her lesson. Apparently not. Apparently, I was stupider than I cared to acknowledge.

No more, though.

Being Red’s fake fiancée was nothing more than a job. And now the job was done.

Only, it didn’t feel that way when we were sleeping together.

Or when he made me dinner.

Or when I shared a bed with him, watching him sleep because I couldn’t imagine doing anything else that would make me happier, more at peace.

Getting out of the cab, I opened my umbrella—I kept one in my purse at all times, because getting caught in the rain was just my luck—and walked to Red’s door. I felt melancholy. I probably looked melancholy.

I had to shake this off. I didn’t want Red seeing me this way. I didn’t want him to think that I was sad over something we both knew was going to happen anyway.

You know what, I was going to give him the ring and walk away because if he talked, if he opened that beautiful mouth of his and words came out, I was going to get down on my knees and do the one thing I never did and beg. Beg for him to stay with me.

Maybe I didn’t have to beg. Maybe he wanted to be with me, too.

Why? Why in the world would he have wanted to be with someone like me, though?

I went back on my way of thinking. Screw being optimistic.

It was for people who could be because they knew that they were going to find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I wasn’t one of those people. Every time I was optimistic, I wound up hurt.

And I was done being hurt.

This was it.

I was doing myself and Red a big favor by walking away. He was a great guy who deserved someone far better than me, someone who belonged in his world. I didn’t. I never had. And I never would.

How could I?

Just look at me. I’d always be exactly what I was—broke, bitchy, and alone.

I couldn’t even come up with another b-word to make that sound better. That was how pathetic I was.

No, I was walking away from this with my dignity.

Once I got up the courage to knock on his door, I did.

As I waited for him to answer it, opening the door and taking my breath away with his sheer attractiveness, I slid the engagement ring he’d given me off my finger.

It was funny—life was funny—because, at first, I hadn’t felt like this ring belonged on my finger. I’d felt like it belonged on any other woman’s finger but mine. It was too pretty, too big, too promising.

Now, when I looked at it, I loved seeing it there. I loved remembering the way he’d given it to me and seeing how far we’d come. Things weren’t the same as they were. In some ways they were, but in others, they couldn’t have been more different.

What I’d learned from all of this—just as life gave you something, it could take it away. Nothing was yours. It was merely yours for a period of time. Yours to borrow and enjoy while you had it. I’d recommend you enjoy it, too, because once it was gone, all you’d have left were the memories.

Finally, the door swung open, and there he was—Red. He was in a simple white shirt and low-hanging gray sweatpants that made my heart skip a beat.

“Here,” I forced myself to say, shoving the ring at him.

He opened his mouth, but I stopped him, placing a hand up and shoving the ring at him for a second time. “I’ll drop it if you don’t take it.”

Holding his hand out, he opened it, and I dropped the ring in it.

I couldn’t take the chance that my fingers might graze his skin.

It would have been too much for me. And this was enough as it was.

“Jade,” he said, and a small piece of me hoped he was going to say that he wanted me, that he wanted this.

I didn’t want to be wrong, though, so I laughed. Actually laughed. “I’m glad this is over. And all I have to say is good luck to your next victim.”

I didn’t wait for him to respond. I didn’t even wait for him to process my words. I just did what was right for me and my already bruised and battered heart—I turned around and jogged in the pouring rain back to my waiting cab.

It was true that some love stories ended with a kiss, someone professing their love, and two people riding off into the sunset with the promise of forever lingering in the air long after they were gone.

Unfortunately, this story wasn’t going to end that way.

Not that I was surprised, and if you’d been following, you shouldn’t have been either, because I wasn’t the girl who got her happily ever after.

I was the girl who had to make her own with what she had and find some version of it within herself.

And, you know what? That was okay.

Red would meet someone one day and he’d be happy. Blissfully so. Maybe I was growing as a person because that made me happy in turn. Or maybe that came with catching feelings for someone, wanting to see them happy even if it wasn’t with you.

* * *

Reddington

Son of a bitch. I hit the palm of my hand on the leather seat next to me. “Alistair, do you see this congestion clearing up anytime soon?”

I only asked him because I hoped to hell that he had a different answer than the one flashing in my mind.

“It’s raining, sir, so—”

“I know.” I ground my teeth. I could have finished that thought for him. It rained, and that always meant unavoidable traffic that lasted longer than I cared for.

When it came to Jade and getting what I wanted, I had zero patience. The word “wait” wasn’t in my vocabulary.

Fuck. Getting Alistair to follow Jade’s cab seemed like the best option at the time, but now I was beginning to think it was all for nothing.

I took my phone out and tried calling her. Straight to voicemail. Her phone was off. Real nice, Jade.

Peering out the window, I watched the rain pelt the ground. “Fuck this,” I spoke to myself primarily, shaking my head the entire time.

Alistair heard me, though, and looked back at me in the rearview mirror. But he didn’t say anything in response.

“I’m going to get Jade, and then you can drive us both home,” I said, seriousness in my voice.

He nodded, most likely understanding that I had to do this.

Getting out, I cursed myself for everything that I’d done that led me to this point.

I cursed myself for hiring her as my assistant.

For having her drop off my dry cleaning.

For lying to Mark about us being engaged.

For dry fucking her. For sharing a room with her in Newport.

For sleeping with her and loving every second of watching her come for me, letting her walls down and being fully in the moment.

If I closed my eyes, I could still remember exactly what she looked like at each of those times.

I could have painted them if I had a lick of artistic talent.

I didn’t, by the way. The thing I cursed myself for the most, though, was not stopping her from walking out of that charity event.

From not grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to me and kissing her senseless.

Then maybe she would have known where I stood—wanting to marry her for real one day and her being my very real fucking fiancée now.

Slogging through the puddles, I let the rain fall down on me, because what else could I do?

Horns were honking, people were screaming profanities. I stuck up my middle finger a few times and prayed no one could suddenly hit their gas pedal and take me down.

She was only a few cars in front of me, and yet, it seemed like I’d been trekking through the damn Alps.

By the time I finally got to her cab, I was drenched, cold as shit, and annoyed that I couldn’t live without this woman.

This woman who was going to be the death of me.

But also, this woman who was going to give me the life I wanted to live. With her.

Jade was looking the opposite way naturally, so I rapped on the window hard, so hard that my chilly knuckles actually had a twinge of pain from the intensity. Not that I gave a shit because my heart hurt a whole lot more.

She turned her head, her mouth falling open, and her eyes growing wide. “Red?” she asked as she opened the door and let me in.

I got in, Jade already moving over.

Now, this wasn’t the time for this, but I couldn’t help but think about how I despised the rain. Snow I could handle. New York’s ridiculously hot summers? Sure. I was used to it all. But rain? I hated it.

“Hey!” the driver shouted as I got comfortable. “You can’t just—”

“I’ll pay triple whatever she owes you,” I said without blinking. I’d buy the fucking taxi from him if it meant he’d leave me alone and shut the hell up through what I was about to say to Jade.

Without another word, he stared at the road ahead.

“Red, what are you doing here?”

“I’m coming to get you. What are you doing, Jade?”

Her eyes were glassy, and I could tell she was filled with emotion. I knew the feeling well. Except I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and punch a wall. “I don’t understand—”

“You don’t understand, what? That this ring belongs to you?” I maneuvered my body on the seat and pulled the ring out of my pocket. “Because it does.” I held it out for her to take.

She looked down at it, but didn’t make a move to take it.

No worries, I’d hold it all fucking day and night for you, Jade.

Finally, she said, “It’s not that simple.”

I scrubbed a hand down my face. “Yes, yes, it is.”

She swallowed, running a hand through her hair before shaking her head. Was she seriously going to do this? “It was all an act. None of it was real.”

She had to be kidding me. She was there during all of this, right?

She had to have known that it stopped being fake.

Honestly, I think I’d wanted it to be real from the very beginning and just hadn’t admitted it to myself.

“You don’t believe that,” I responded, still holding the ring, waiting for her to do me the incredible honor of putting it back on her finger, the only place I ever wanted to see it.

“I don’t know what to believe.”

“Tell me what you want. If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

She exhaled, sucking her bottom lip in before releasing it. “I want you.”

“That’s all I get?” This whole time, and that was it. That was the only confession she could give me. Wow, was it too much to ask for more? Kidding.

She smiled, placing a hand in my hair and combing my wet hair back. “Take it or leave it, Red.”

Staring into her eyes, I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll take it.”

She held out her ring finger for me and nudged her chin. “What are you waiting for, honeybun? I think you have my ring.”

I slid the ring back on her finger. “From the moment I bought this ring, I think a part of me knew it belonged on your finger forever.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, though, because I’m not sure I fit into your world. I don’t want you to wake up one morning and—”

“Jade, you belong with me, got it? Anywhere I am is where you belong and there’s no two ways about it.”

“I’ve never felt like I had a place in this world,” she insisted.

“Your place is with me.”

She leaned in and slammed her lips over mine.

I brought her lower lip into my mouth and tugged it between my teeth before licking the area to soothe any hurt I may have caused with my teeth.

Then she licked the seam of my lips, getting me to part for her.

Without hesitation, her tongue entered my mouth, and next thing I knew the kiss hit an all-time high.

No one could ever say we weren’t intense or that we didn’t have off-the-charts chemistry. Because we undoubtedly did.

Placing her hand on my chest, she pushed off me, breaking the kiss that probably would have led to sex in the back of the taxi had she not stopped us. “This almost feels fake,” she said.

“It’s as real as it gets. But if you need to hear it again, then let me say it again.”

“Hmm?”

“You’re mine.”

“Not exactly what you said—”

“Are you seriously going to argue with me right now?”

She laughed. “No, I’ll let you win this one.”

“Oh, you’ll let me?” I bent down and began nuzzling her neck, the touch causing her to do that laugh-snort thing I loved so much.

“Yeah, I’ll let you.”