Page 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Griffin

What a dumbass I was.

In hindsight, everything was perfectly clear. That was the horrible part of being able to recognize our mistakes after we’d made them.

It was all cumulative, of course. Each day of the last couple weeks was a small, seemingly insignificant building block to this moment. The party was in full swing when Ruby walked back in, and even though I’d plotted Marcus’s demise several times while he helped me clean up the house, I couldn’t fault any of the steps that had led us here.

The music was good—loud and sexy and throbbing through the center of my chest. The drinks were delicious, the laughter easy, as was the conversation. A bunch of the players were new to me, but everyone was kind and friendly, and I felt myself settle into the rhythm of this unwanted celebration.

The doors opened, and I swear to every deity in existence, there was a fucking spotlight—thick bright light aimed at the entrance—when she walked in.

Her eyes skimmed the crowd, anxiously looking for me, and I ducked past one of our linemen, unable to tear my gaze off her, soaking in the last of the dresses I’d bought for her. The unbearable pressure on my ribs didn’t make any sense, but I decided I didn’t care.

It was a white lace number, molded to her upper body and flaring out at her waist, the hem stopping at her upper thighs. The tiny black bow at the top of the neck made her look so prim and proper that my mouth watered because I couldn’t help but wonder what she had on underneath. The base of the dress was a nude-colored slip, giving the illusion that she was naked under the white lace.

On her feet were wicked-looking black heels, and I blew out a slow breath as I eased through the crowd. The nerves on her face intensified when she couldn’t find me in the kitchen, and for a moment, I thought she might back out of the house ... but then she turned and saw me, a smile breaking open over her face as I approached.

A more polite man might have stopped at a respectable distance, but I wasn’t polite.

Wasn’t even close to anything of the sort. The ticking clock over our time left together, the music making my pulse throb, the sight of her in that dress, had me feeling something far more uncivilized.

I didn’t say a word, simply stepped up against her, my hands skating down the length of her arms until our fingers wove together, and I dropped my nose into the crown of her hair and inhaled—deep and greedy.

“Happy birthday to me,” I growled by her ear as I gathered her close against my chest. “You look incredible.”

Ruby lifted her head, eyes wide in her face. Fuck, why did they look like that? Bigger. Sparklier. Like she wanted to eat me alive.

The feeling was very, very mutual.

Her lashes were darker than normal. Thicker too. There was something slick and shiny on her lips, and I dragged my thumb along the bottom edge. “You look beautiful tonight, Ruby Tate.”

It was her eyes that smiled, her lips opening on a shaky exhale. “You told me to save this for a special occasion, didn’t you?”

I grinned. “I can’t believe I ever said you were a terrible student.” Leaning down, I ran the edge of my nose against hers, placing a featherlight kiss against her lips. She tasted like cherries, and I hummed as I pulled away. “Want some cake?” I asked. “It’s chocolate with raspberry filling.”

“Maybe one piece,” she said, eyes locking on my mouth. “I think I can allow for a few vices tonight.”

It took everything in me not to sling her over my shoulder and march to the bedroom. I closed my eyes as I fumbled for restraint in a very public place, folded my fingers around hers, and led her into the kitchen. The introductions were quick and overwhelming, Ruby’s eyes wide as I ran through everyone who was there. For as nervous as she’d looked walking in the door, those nerves didn’t last long. After a few minutes, Ruby was chatting with a few of the wives, shyly catching my eye when one of them asked how long we’d been dating.

“We’re ... friends,” she said, her fingers squeezing mine under the table, where I’d refused to let her go. She was eating her cake with one hand.

Leticia, one of the linemen’s wives, eyed us. “Mm-hmm. I can see that. My husband and I were friends like that once too.”

“Ruby used to live behind me when we were kids,” I said. “She had a crush on my brother.”

Leticia’s eyebrows popped up. “Did she, now?”

“What can I say? I had terrible taste when I was younger,” Ruby said. She licked a bit of chocolate frosting off her lip and caught my eye. “Now I actually know what—and who—is good for me.”

There was no chance in hell I was letting this woman go tonight. Careless of who might see us or what they’d think, I leaned forward and snagged her mouth in a quick, searing kiss. “Careful, baby, I’ll think you’re staking a claim,” I murmured against her lips.

Ruby exhaled a quiet laugh, her eyes falling shut while her forehead rested against mine. Everything about her made my head spin, and I didn’t want it to stop. There was a disbelieving part of me still searching for a foothold in logic. Why was it like this? Why her? What was it about the two of us together that felt so fucking good?

For the first time in my life, the sense of rightness was unshakable, and that was the scariest thing imaginable. Showing her parts of myself that no one else saw, knowing that she appreciated them, felt like hanging myself off the edge of a cliff, and Ruby was the one capable of either tossing me off the side or helping me up and over into safety.

Maybe it was this short window of time. The ticking of a clock that I could practically hear in the background as I watched her pull away, cheeks flushed from our public display of affection. Leticia said something that made her laugh, and all I could hear was the roaring in my ears.

It sounded like her name. How long would it feel like this after she walked away?

After she returned to the cocoon she’d built, safely kept away from hurt. From hurting anyone else. The blood pumped quick and hot through my veins the longer I thought about it, about her alone every night, when I wouldn’t be part of her life. Alone, because that was how she wanted it.

Leticia left the table, and Ruby pushed the plate away, only a few bites of the cake left. “I’m done,” she proclaimed. “That half a piece will probably keep me up all night.”

Staring at her profile, I felt my heart churn restlessly, a persistent itch at the back of my mind urging me to do something important. My mind raced over the things she’d told me, shifting through confessions like a deck of cards, and when the thumping pulse of the music broke through my thoughts, I found myself laser sharp with focus. I shifted, untangling my hand from hers so I could angle her chair toward me. I widened my legs around her chair and tugged her seat forward.

Her eyes widened, and I slid my hands along the silky-smooth skin on her thighs.

“Dance with me?” I asked, fingers trailing along the edge of her knees.

Ruby’s chest rose and fell in sharp breaths, and her lips curled in a sweet smile. “I’d love to.”

Shifting my grip so that both of her hands were in one of mine, I stood and led her into the middle of the room, where the group of people dancing shifted to accommodate us. No one looked twice at us when I turned and settled Ruby’s hands onto my chest. Her fingers danced up and over my shoulders, her eyes fixed on mine, her cheeks slightly flushed as I grinned down at her.

We began to move, one of my thighs slotted between hers as I guided the movement of her hips. Her smile was radiant in the dark room, and my hands moved restlessly over her body, the lithe line of her back impossible to resist as I banded an arm around her to drag her closer while the throbbing beat had our hips shifting back and forth.

Gripping her hand, I spun Ruby out and back, and her laughter, sweet and happy, caught somewhere under my ribs, and I wished I could fucking bottle it. We swayed for a few moments, her hands sliding over my chest, her gray eyes hazy as she surrendered to the music.

She was too far away. I slid my arm around her waist, anchoring her tight to my body while we danced. Her breasts were firm and warm against my front, and my throat went dry as I imagined what they’d look like. What they’d taste like under my tongue.

Sweet. She’d be so fucking sweet.

There was no resisting this woman, not for any reason that any sane, logical person could conjure, and I banished the slightest hint of it while we rolled together to the driving beat.

It didn’t matter if I got hurt or was left feeling even the slightest pinch of disappointment, because Ruby knowing I wanted her was probably the most important thing I’d do for the rest of my life. The thought that she might ever doubt it made me want to scream.

I plucked one hand off my chest and twirled her around so that her back was against my front, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders while I rolled my hips against her backside. My other hand curled tight around her hip, and I almost groaned when she arched her ass against my very prominent hard-on.

The fact that this woman had ever felt like she needed my help was fucking laughable. My hand, anchored on her hip, dipped lower, gathering the material of her skirt until my fingertips brushed the firm, warm skin on her thigh. She dropped her head back onto my chest, and I dipped down to speak next to her ear.

“You in this dress should be fucking illegal, birdy,” I growled, licking along the edge of her ear. “Got me thinking about what’s underneath it.”

Her shaky sigh was noticeable only because of my arm banded around her frame, and from my mouth trailing along her temple, the pulled-back curls tickling my cheek. Ruby turned her head slightly, her hand clutching my arm as she arched her back.

With her big, sweet eyes aimed up at me, the trust I saw there was enough to break my heart. Then she licked her lips, slow and intentional, rolling up on her tiptoes as she turned in my arms. I clutched her backside as she tugged my head down toward her mouth.

“Nothing,” she whispered, her lips brushing the shell of my ear.

The hair on the back of my neck lifted, my skin buzzing with a bright shock of desire, something that spiraled quick and fast. In a slight daze, I pulled back to meet her eyes.

There was a question there. A wicked request that I was helpless to deny.

“You sure, baby?” I asked, my hand curling gently around her throat, using the slightest pressure of my thumb to tilt her chin up. She swallowed, and the flare of heat in her eyes with my hand around her like that almost brought me to my knees from the bone-cracking shot of lust.

Ruby’s tongue darted out and she licked at her bottom lip, then nodded slowly.

I dropped my head down, rolling my forehead against hers. Her hands clutched at my biceps, and I struggled to think clearly. We were in a house full of people, and I couldn’t find it in myself to care. “The party,” I said weakly, one last grasp at sanity. “It’s a full fucking house, Ruby.”

Her hands cradled my jaw, easing me back so that her gaze met mine. “Then you better not scream too loud.”

I exhaled a shocked laugh, and God, my heart felt seven sizes too big in my chest. It almost spilled over into something maudlin and ridiculous, where I just wrapped her in my arms and asked her to let me hold her all night instead. Almost had me asking if sex could wait and I could simply kiss her for hours and hours and hours.

“Please,” she whispered.

My forehead fell against hers again. “Anything,” I told her. With every molecule in my worthless body, I meant it. I’d give her anything I was capable of giving. All she had to do was ask.

Clutching her hand behind my back, I turned and started weaving through the group of people, occasionally smiling and nodding at some of my teammates as we passed. Marcus lifted his hand as he came into view, and as soon as he was within reach, I gripped his shirt and tugged him closer.

“Don’t come looking for us, and if you turn down that music, I’ll break every bone in your body.”

He grinned, giving me a crisp salute. “You got it, birthday boy.”

The very best thing about Steven’s house was that once you passed the main bedroom and his office, then went past the gym, another hallway branched out, leading to the extra bedrooms. I’d chosen the one at the end because it had a large slider overlooking the backyard and I liked the view of the mountains as the sun rose.

The sound from the party faded, and as soon as Ruby cleared the doorway, I slammed it shut, locking it with a decisive click, crowding her against the hard surface as her chest heaved on deep, panting breaths.

Our kiss was brutal, my hands gripping her ass as she tried to fucking climb me where we stood. I boosted her up against the door, my tongue licking into her hot mouth as her legs wound around my waist. My hands worked under her dress, and I groaned into her mouth when I found that she was, in fact, wearing nothing underneath.

“You wicked, wicked girl,” I whispered against her lips, my nose brushing hers as I skimmed my fingers along the bare curve of her ass. She dropped her head against the door, writhing in my arms as I teased her with soft brushes of my fingertips. “You’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you?”

“Yes,” she moaned, sweet and impatient. “Please, Griffin. Don’t make me wait.”

With one arm banded around her ass, I latched my mouth onto hers and whirled around to deposit her carefully onto the bed. She was light enough that I didn’t need to set her down when I braced my knee on the mattress and lowered my weight over hers.

Ruby’s hands fumbled with the buttons on my shirt, and I paused the kiss to help her. Once half the buttons were undone, I ripped the shirt off and tossed it onto the floor.

Her pupils dilated as she stared at my chest, her fingers dancing over the newly uncovered muscles. “Look at you,” she whispered. “I don’t understand how you’re real.”

I let her look her fill, flexing my arms as I pulled at the buckle on my belt. “You want me to prove it to you?” She chewed briefly on her bottom lip as she nodded, shifting her hips on the bed, which worked the hem of her skirt high enough that my mouth started watering. “Good, because I finally found what I want for my birthday.”

Anchoring my hands easily around her ribs, I pushed her higher onto the bed, then slid my palms down her thighs, letting my fingers curl into the warm flesh there, pressing her legs open with a slight pressure on her knees.

“You tell me if you want to stop, okay?” I said, easing myself down between her legs. I kissed the inside of her thigh, draping one and then the other over my shoulders as she nodded jerkily. “I mean it, Ruby. Any time. At any point. We stop if you don’t want any more.”

She raised her chin. “What if you want to stop?”

My eyes closed briefly, and I let out a low, dangerous chuckle. “Oh, baby, I won’t be stopping us.” I rucked her skirt above her waist, making sure she could see my eyes as I lowered my mouth toward her. “I want this too much.”

If this was my only night to have Ruby Tate in my bed, I was going to tear her world apart with nothing but my tongue and fingers and lips. I was going to rip down any reservations that made her feel less than or not sexy or not good enough.

“Happy birthday to me,” I said against the warm skin of her inner thigh.

Before she could say anything else, I pressed my hand onto her trembling stomach and locked my gaze with hers as I licked straight up her center, groaning at the taste of her.

She clutched my hair in both hands and moaned so loud that goose bumps sprang up on my arms.

New life goal: find every sound that this woman could possibly make with my mouth between her legs. Fuck the Super Bowl—this was the only thing I wanted to win for the rest of my life on this earth.

Through sweet little rocking motions, Ruby worked herself against my mouth, and I found very quickly that she liked it when I used my fingers along with slow, tongue-heavy kisses. Her moans turned to choppy, rib-shaking, gasping breaths, and her hands were so tight in my hair that I had to pinch my eyes shut, my own hips rocking against the mattress to seek relief.

What made her break, though—mouth wide open on a silent scream, her back arched helplessly—was a simple twist of my wrist and press of my fingers, my tongue soft and slick against her.

I watched her ride it out, her ribs rising and falling on shocked gulps of air. Sitting up on my haunches, I wiped my mouth on the side of her thigh and pushed my pants and boxer briefs off.

She watched me hungrily, still catching her breath as I wedged my hand underneath her body to find her zipper. When it loosened, Ruby helped me wiggle the dress up her body. Every inch of skin that was uncovered sent blood rushing between my legs.

Her breasts were high and firm. No more than a small handful, they were so sweet and pretty, and I let my fingers ghost over the hard tips as she shyly eased the dress over the top of her head. With the dress gone, her hair fell around her shoulders, and even after the muscle-melting relief of her orgasm, the nerves clearly returned in the pinch of her brow and in the way she bit down on her bottom lip.

I was quiet at first, gaze following the path of my hands over her body. The curve of her ribs, the dip in her belly, and the perfect little circle of her belly button. My hands skimmed the skin over her hips, and I let my fingers spread wide as I pushed them back up her midsection, my thumbs brushing gently at the bottom curve of her breasts.

Her scar was a long, thin line, and I let my fingers trace that, too, holding her eyes while I sat between her legs and took in the absolute fucking glory of her naked body.

“You’re perfect,” I whispered, spreading my hand over her chest, my fingers brushing over the curves of each breast. Ruby sucked in a sharp breath, sliding her hands up my arms to tug me down over her.

Our kisses weren’t as rushed and furious as when we’d first come into the room. They were sweet and slow, luxuriating in each brush of her tongue on mine. A hundred years. I could kiss this woman for a hundred years, and it wouldn’t be enough. A million days, a billion hours. Nothing short of forever felt like enough, and I found myself clutching her against me with a trembling sort of possessiveness that rocked me to my core. Her hands coasted over my shoulders as I rolled my hips between hers, allowing my hardness to drive her mindless again as I teased her.

For the first time, there was a slight shadow of nerves over what I was supposed to do next. The urge to make this perfect for her had my breath sawing in and out of my lungs while we kissed endlessly.

And there was that too ...

I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want to leave. Didn’t want to leave her , more specifically. It was the type of fear that had me kissing her harder, clutching her more tightly in my arms, like it might imprint this moment somewhere permanent.

Maybe this was what forever felt like. Where the wanting of forever began.

In kisses that could never be deep enough or long enough. In exploring her body and finding it perfect for me. In the unexpected ache coiling tighter and tighter and tighter in my chest.

It wasn’t just sex, and I didn’t think it was for her either. I couldn’t wipe away my past any more than I could erase hers, but I could give her everything she’d ever wanted. Could make her feel sexy and cherished and wanted, because God, she was all those things to me.

Her hand reached down to grip me, exactly the way I’d shown her in the parking lot, and I rolled my forehead against hers, hissing through gritted teeth.

“Later,” I told her, then sucked her bottom lip into my mouth as I pulled her hand off me. I reached over into the nightstand and sat back on my heels while I opened a condom packet with my teeth. She watched with huge eyes as I rolled it on. “This might hurt, baby. Do you want to be on top? That might be easier.”

Immediately, she shook her head, hands curling around my back, tugging me back down on top of her. “No. No, I want you on me.”

My heart was fucking hers, and there was no way I could say it out loud. It was the one thing she’d made me promise, wasn’t it? The only promise I’d broken.

I nodded, kissing her deeply again. Her thigh pressed high against my side, and I dipped my head down, pushing her breast up with my hand, licking a tight circle around the tip. She clutched my head and gasped.

I sucked the other one into my mouth, dragging my teeth over the hardened nipple. And oh, she liked that. Gently, I held her gaze and bit down on the bottom curve of her breast, sucking it into my mouth harder than I might have dared if my feelings were any less. It would leave a mark, and something primitive flared hot in my chest, roaring louder and louder to mark her more. To leave behind proof that I’d been here and that I’d had her, even if it was just once.

Ruby tugged me back up her chest, and I slanted my mouth over hers while she writhed helplessly underneath the weight of my body. I took myself in hand and almost blacked out when I tried to press forward.

So hot. So very, impossibly tight.

I’d die. Right here, in between her legs. And I wanted it on my tombstone how I went out, because I’d never felt anything better than this.

She broke away from the kiss with a gasp. “Griffin,” she moaned, wiggling her hips and trying to work me in farther.

“I know, sweetheart,” I hissed, holding her still with a firm hand on her hip. “Let me do this, baby. I don’t want to hurt you.”

My hips rocked forward an inch. Then back.

In. Out. In and out again. Then again.

Each inch gained, I slid farther and farther into absolute heaven. Ruby couldn’t stay still; she met my rhythm perfectly, working herself onto me as each shallow thrust brought me more fully inside.

The screaming impulse to snap my hips forward had me gritting my teeth, and that restless energy had me biting down on her bottom lip until she whimpered. My tongue licked into her mouth, my hands wrapped around her back to grip her shoulders for leverage.

Ruby wrenched her other hip up onto my side, widening her thighs, and I sank in, slick and effortless, like an anchor cutting through water, a groaning sound I’d never made before wrenched from the back of my throat. Helpless desire. Desperate wanting. A crude need to rut into her until we both blacked out from the force of what raced furiously through my veins.

I buried my head into the curve of her neck and felt the trembling of my hands as I held her tight. “You’re so good.”

We paused there, unmoving, as she acclimated. If I closed my eyes, it would be so easy to get lost in the slick, tight feel of her around me. My mouth nuzzled at her jaw, seeking her sweet lips, and Ruby sighed quietly as we kissed.

When the kisses turned sharper, fiercer, the licking of our tongues wilder, she rubbed her breasts against my chest. “Please, please, please,” she chanted.

I propped my weight onto one elbow as I lifted up to watch her face while I slowly pulled back, pushed forward. Pulled back, then pushed forward. Her brow furrowed adorably at the steady drag of my body in and out of hers, and she bit down on her bottom lip when I ground against her when my hips met hers. Pulled back again, holding there until my pulse screamed, my body shook from the restraint it took to stay in place, teasing her that way.

She wriggled helplessly, and my eyes fluttered shut for a moment. When I opened them again, a flush was crawling up her neck into her cheeks.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” I commanded. “I’ll give it to you.”

Eyes locked on mine, Ruby didn’t even hesitate. “Harder.”

She was perfect. So incredibly perfect. All the things I didn’t know I wanted, and she was right fucking here for the taking.

“You sure?” I asked, tilting my head as I made a few shallow thrusts. She was already fluttering around me, her pulse visible at the base of her throat as she made a tortured keening noise.

“Griffin,” she begged. “Please.”

I gave my girl what she wanted. With a ruthless snap of my hips and a loud groan, I bottomed out in one thrust.

Heaven.

I’d never get over this. Never have anything better than her.

Ruby took everything I had for her, over and over and over, and with each pivot of my body, each roll of my hips, each rocking thrust that brought me against her again and again and again, she sobbed against my mouth as she told me it couldn’t possibly get bigger, that it wasn’t stopping, that it kept growing bigger and bigger.

She slapped a hand over her mouth to stem the sounds, and when I slid my hand down between her legs and pressed with my thumb, her back snapped in a powerful arch, and Ruby let out a muffled scream behind her fingers, tears streaking down her temples.

My own orgasm crashed over me, a blistering squeeze of painful pleasure that started at the base of my spine and split out in a wide burst. I yanked her hand away from her lips and grunted into her mouth as we kissed through it.

I didn’t want us losing those noises because we were afraid of someone hearing; I wanted to take hers and give her my own. I wanted the whole fucking world to know that we were doing this to each other, because there was no way anyone else had ever experienced sex quite like this.

I hadn’t, at least.

The truth of that—of how she’d changed me down to my marrow, carving her name somewhere deep and vital where I’d never be able to remove it—had me gathering her into my arms while we kissed in the dark.

And I knew, even as I felt the wild crash of her heart against me, I was never going to have her in the way I wanted.