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IT ONLY TAKES a second for Nick’s eyes to take in my tearstained face, Sel’s hand on my shoulder, and Sel standing behind me. Russ and Felicity peer around Nick with wary expressions just as Sel’s hand falls away.

“What the hell is going on here?” Nick demands.

My breath falters at the look in Nick’s eyes. In them is the small beginning of some strong, sharp emotion, straining outward like a blade against cloth. “I need to go home.” I make as if to move around him, and he catches me around my good elbow before I take two steps.

“What—why?” He looks between me and Sel’s stoic expression, directs the blade of his anger at his Kingsmage. “What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do this,” Sel says wearily. “Not that you’ll believe me.”

“He didn’t—didn’t do anything,” I confirm, and slip out of Nick’s grip. I push between him and Russ and move down the stairs.

Nick follows me. “Then why are you crying ?”

I whirl around. “I need to go home. I can’t be here right now.” I catch Felicity’s eye. “Can you please drive me home, Felicity?”

“I can drive you home,” Nick insists.

I can’t look at him. “Felicity? Please?”

She glances between Nick and me, back to Sel, then to Russ. “Russy, can you get my car?” Russ doesn’t hesitate. He jogs down the stone steps toward the Lodge garage.

“Bree!”

“Let her go, Nick,” Sel says from the doorway, and Nick and I both freeze. “Nick.” Not Nicholas. Sel’s eyes find mine. Our eyes meet—for half a heartbeat, so quick—but Nick catches it. In that split second, he sees something new between me and his Kingsmage. Something I can’t explain right now, not even to myself. When Nick turns back to me, the raw confusion and hurt in his eyes crushes my heart.

I stammer, try to start several sentences, but none of them take hold in my mouth. The words are caught in a jumble, and I don’t know where to start. I stare at him without an answer. Finally, I utter the only thing that could make him understand, my voice cracking on every word.

“It was just an accident.”

It’s the wrong thing to say.

Nick takes a step closer, his voice soft and pained. “What was just an accident, B?” He doesn’t know I mean my mother. He thinks I mean the something with Sel.

Oh God. No. That’s not—

There’s movement inside the Lodge. Behind Sel, I see Tor and Sar, both in pajamas. A crowd is gathering. They’ll all know. They’ll all see me like this.

I tear my eyes away and back to Nick, take a shaky breath, and try again, because he needs to understand. “The car,” I whisper, fresh tears burning at my eyes. “That night. The hospital. No one… just… an accident.”

As understanding passes through him, the blood drains from his face. The devastation I see there is all for me, all for my pain. But if I accept it, if it touches me, I’ll shatter. I know I will. He reaches for me, but I raise both palms, and his hand falls. That simple gesture—pushing him away—looks like it breaks him as much as it breaks me.

“How? How did you—” He stops. Turns again to the Lodge doorway where Sel is watching us, his face unreadable. This time when Nick faces me, his eyes hold stony accusation. “With him ?”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, walking backward on the lawn. “This was all a mistake.”

Tires over gravel. Russ pulling up behind me in Felicity’s Jeep. Nick shaking his head no.

The car idles, loud enough that the Legendborn in the foyer can’t hear me. But Nick can… and so can Sel. “I can’t be here anymore.”

The air leaves Nick’s chest in a broken rush. He knows I don’t mean tonight. He knows I mean forever.

“No, wait!” He shakes his head, desperation making his eyes bright. “Please. I need you. You have to know I’d choose you. I want you , Bree. If Camlann is coming, I want you.”

The lead in my stomach turns hot, melting into all of my limbs. The words feel heavy and thick at the back of my throat, but I say them anyway.

“No. You don’t.”

I climb into the car and leave him behind, standing alone in the gravel as we drive away.