Page 14
“The fact that you don’t believe me makes me incredibly happy.
” She laughs. “It means I’m really one of the group now.
I met Erik on a fluke. Luck of the draw.
The universe catapulting us together and forcing us to pay attention.
But, I didn’t know hockey. I didn’t follow the sport.
I didn’t have friends outside of work and Jen, my former roommate and coworker.
It was… intimidating. Meeting Tristan, Sadie, the guys.
I just… I remember what that was like. Even if everyone around you wants you to be comfortable. So yeah. That’s all.”
Her cheeks tinge pink. It could be the sun, but I doubt it.
“S-s-so, uh,” my voice is a little too loud as it cuts through the quiet. A little too gravelly with disuse, but Sadie had been pretty direct in my assignment. Answer questions, smile, ask question. I clear my throat. “H-how ha-as your d-day been s-so far?”
Quinn looks up at me, blinking twice like she’s just realized I’m talking to her.
“Oh! It’s been good! I love all this fall stuff. Cool weather, warm spices, the colors work with my hair.” She winks. “I was going to convince Erik to come with me anyway, so this was perfect.”
I nod—something I’ve been doing a lot today—my hands gripping the edge of the table as I awkwardly shift my weight.
“Y-yeah. It’s nice.” It’s possible the conversation will go somewhere all on its own.
Without me having to push it. I’m not great at pushing, actually I’m downright abysmal at it, and Quinn seems to have a way of filling the space with ease.
“So, how’s the team? How are you?” Quinn asks, her eyes lighting up with interest. “I don’t mean your,” she gestures to my hip, ”you guys are all so focused on the game. What do you do for fun? Do you have any hobbies? Or is it all just hockey, hockey, hockey?”
I open my mouth, then close it again. Anotheruncomfortable silence settles over us.
Hobbies? I’m supposed to have hobbies?My whole life has been this sport.
I cannot remember a time before the rink, and sharpened blades and red pipes.
I can barely remember a time before I strapped on goalie pads.
I was big for my age and when my coach suggested I try a turn in net, well, I never came back out. What’s beyond that?
I try to play it cool, even as words melt out of my brain.
I blame the September heat. I glance at Sadie.
If I see a smile, it’s possible the panic will lessen.
Or something. These squishy, panicked thoughts only happen around people.
This is why I prefer to stay home. And hell, Quinn’s still looking at me, waiting for a response and Sadie is with Tristan.
I watch her stretch for an apple just above our social media manager’s head.
“I-I… uh…” Answer her. That’s the job. “ N-n-not mu-ch. I l-like to r-r-read. Sometimes w-w-watch movies. But m-mostly… h-hockey.”
I stare down at my hands. My palms are damp, clammy. I’m not sure how to present myself as anything more than just a guy who sits in the net stealing pucks from hopeful forwards. “I d-don’t do m-m-much outside of the r-rink.”
There’s a trace of curiosity behind Quinn’s smile.
“I get it. Hockey is your thing. I mean, I’m married to a guy who once felt the same, so I’m not judging.
I also spent a few years focused on school and my dad’s health.
I forgot I was allowed to have fun.” she grins wider.
“You know, we all get together and do weekly trivia at Gershwins. You’d be welcome any time. ”
“Trivia?”
“Yeah.” She nods like a bobble head. “Vic, Tristan, Erik, Sadie, and me. We get a pitcher of beer and some wings. Talk a big game like we’re going to win, and then lose miserably. It’s a lot of fun.”
That sounds… good. Actually.
Huh.
I like crossword puzzles. Sadie brought them into the rink almost every day during the off-season. Pretending she didn’t know the answers to get me to talk to her. It was… is… sweet.
“I m-might.”
“Good.” Quinn grins before leaning in a closer. She lowers her voice. “Look, in the interest of honesty, Sadie did ask me to come talk to you.”
“Sh-she… she d-did?”
I glance up, eyes searching for Sadie’s dark hair and sparkling glasses. She’s staring at me, fiddling with her scarf. Strong, white teeth bite into her lower lip. Even from here, I can see the slight lines furrowed between her brows. She’s nervous. About me?
Quinn nods, biting her lip to suppress a smile.
“She said you were probably a little out of your element with the crowds. I could tell you weren’t exactly jumping into conversations, and Sadie didn’t want you to feel left out. So… here I am.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or facepalm.
Sadie. Of course she sent Quinn over. She’s doing exactly what I asked.
Looking out for me. Making sure I don’t slip into my hardenedshell and stay there forever.
I can’t even be embarrassed because I literally asked her for this.
For help. And she provided it. Yes, I could have stuck to her like Howl when he thinks I have treats, but Sadie is one of the few people I already can talk to.
Somewhat. A bit. I’ve done enough school to know that we don’t grow in our comfort zones. And I want to grow. I need to.
“I promise that’s not why I brought up trivia,” Quinn says, her smile softening. “It’s easy to get lost in the noise and forget that there’s more to life than just work. And hey, you’re doing great with this get-together. You’re talking to me right now and I’m having loads of fun.”
“Th-thanks.”
I raise a single brow, wondering if she correctly interpreted my sarcasm or if that’s another thing I should work on.
I can feel the heat staining my cheeks with a tinge of embarrassment.
But I also feel a burst of pride. I’m still not great at this, but at least it doesn’t feel as bad as I imagined.
I’m not suffocating under the weight of my awkwardness and, somehow, Quinn’s light teasing puts me even more at ease.
Almost like it’s okay if I mess up. Almost like it’s not a big deal.
“I think you’ve probably earned a break,” Quinn says, scooting off the edge of the table.
“But hey, I’m glad we could chat. And, uh, I’m just gonna throw this out there—but we’re all headed to Gershwin’s after this too.
Grab a drink. Have some cake.” She glances over her shoulder at Sadie, who’s deep in conversation with Robbie. “No pressure.”
I blink at her, surprised. There’s no pressure, she said. Just an invitation. But it feels a little like a challenge. To put myself out there and see what happens. Do I quit today while I’m “ahead?” Or do I push my comfort zone?
One step at a time
“Y-yeah. I’ll think about it,” I say, my heart rate picking up again, and I mean it.
“You do that,” Quinn says, her tone light and teasing. She pats the curve of my arm before turning to walk back toward the group. Even from here, I can see Erik’s face light up as she approaches.
I’m still trying to process the exchange as my eyes slip back to Sadie.
She’s alone now, smiling as she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
My gaze lingers, and I wonder if she can feel it.
The weight of my eyes on the smooth skin of her cheek.
Maybe she does, because she looks up and smiles, turning her whole body as she closes the distance between us. I can’t help but smile back.
Maybe things aren’t as bad as I thought. Maybe there’s hope for me to find my way through this. One awkward conversation at a time.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14 (Reading here)
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49