Page 23 of Last One Standing (Saint Brothers #5)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

KONA

I was exhausted when I was done confessing everything to Angel.

I wanted to return to normalcy, but I recognized that it wasn’t going to happen if I pushed myself too hard, too fast. I brushed off the offer of help, because I could walk up the stairs.

As I sat on the bed catching my breath, I took a few minutes to just be.

It wasn’t something I could do in the clubhouse; I had to be on all the time, be ready, vigilant. Here, it was more relaxing.

I slipped under the covers and tried to get comfortable. Angel had given me some pills earlier and informed me that someone named Aziza was coming by. I wasn’t going to nap, but he told me she’d wait.

I should’ve felt guilty for wanting to go to sleep and let anyone wait, but again, I was allowing myself to be a little selfish.

This wasn’t a vacation, and Brick would absolutely retaliate once he figured out who was behind all this, so for now, I was going to live in the moment. I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.

When I woke from my nap, I went downstairs to find Dr. Aziza Bakir sitting in the kitchen with Angel and Four. A beautiful and kind woman, she smiled at me and something about her made me feel like I’d known her forever.

“Kona and Pika—those are great names,” she said once I’d sat and introductions were out of the way.

“Our mother was Hawaiian; her name was Nalani.”

“Beautiful name. I saw Pika earlier; you both have the dark hair—is that from your mom as well?”

I nodded. “Our father, well, he vanished once Pika was born. He was a blond-haired, pasty-looking guy. It’s why we have the last name Miller.”

She hummed. “And what happened to him?”

“Drug overdose a few years after he split. I remember my mom getting the call. She cried, but she was so angry with him, I don’t know what emotion owned those tears.”

“I like that—what emotion owned the tears.”

I shrugged. “Feel free to use it.”

“I just might.” She glanced at Angel. Four had disappeared once I’d sat down—he’d said he had something to do and then was going to see Lizzy, whoever that was.

“Angel, would it be okay if I speak with Kona alone for a little bit?”

Angel’s eyes widened. “Oh, yeah of course. Kona, you cool with that?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. “Thank you.”

“How about we go outside?” Aziza asked.

“That’s fine with me.”

I followed Aziza, peering over my shoulder before the door shut. Angel was fixing himself coffee, but he peered up and honest-to-God beamed. He was a beautiful man but when he smiled, he was stunning.

“How’s this?” I turned and saw Aziza gesturing to two chairs under an umbrella.

“That’s good.”

I could have said no to talking with her at any time but I understood that Pika and the others were worried about me. Aziza never flinched when she looked at me, and I knew my face was a rainbow of colors. The swelling was just about gone now, but I was a Jackson Pollack painting.

“I know this is weird, talking to a perfect stranger, and I know you’re not stupid, Kona. I wanted to get you alone to talk about a few things. Mainly, things Angel has brought to my attention that concern him, and you have alluded to not wanting to discuss.”

I sighed and tapped my finger against my leg.

“I’m not in some sort of denial that I’m not suffering from mental and physical trauma.

I won’t disrespect your profession by telling you therapy won’t work, but, Dr. Bakir, who I am, in my heart and mind, never changed no matter how many times Brick hit me, raped me, or yelled at me.

This?” I motioned to my face. “Will heal, and so will my soul.”

“Like I said, not stupid.” She shifted in her seat. “It’s interesting, though. You recognize that he raped you even though you were in a relationship. There’s an awful stigma that too many people believe that it can’t be rape if you’re married or together.”

I scoffed. “Marital rape is illegal in all fifty states, and rape is illegal, period. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen and that police and government officials don’t see it that way.”

She nodded. “Agreed. But, Kona, you’ve been doing so much of this on your own that I believe you think you have to heal in all ways on your own.

That’s not true.” She motioned to the house behind her.

“These guys have done incredible things, saved people, seen horrific things, and they talk to me. We all need shoulders to lean on and ears to hear us.”

Her kindness warmed me. “I appreciate that, Dr. Bakir.”

“Please call me Aziza.”

“Okay. I’m not saying I’ll never talk about it. I’m saying I’m not at the place in my life where I’m ready to work through it all.”

“I understand, Kona.”

I glanced at the house behind her. Angel wasn’t in the kitchen anymore, and I couldn’t see anyone through any of the windows.

“I am so grateful to those men in that house for saving me and Pika. Our lives weren’t the only thing they took out of that clubhouse, and I appreciate how worried they are about me. ”

Aziza reached into her pocket and pulled out a business card. “I won’t pressure you into talking to me, but know that if or when you’re ready, I’m a phone call away.”

I took it and sandwiched it between my hands. “Thanks.”

“One last thing. Angel ran tests on you, and nothing that came back is life threatening or something he can’t handle to care for you. Are you comfortable with him handling the medical portion of your healing, or would you like a doctor to come and take a look at you?”

I waved her offer away. “He’s doing well, he’s respected my boundaries, and honestly, I’m feeling better since I’ve arrived.”

“Very good. If you change your mind, you can call me for that as well.”

“Again, I thank you.”

She stood and smiled down at me. “You’re a remarkable person, Kona. I can’t wait until you’re one hundred percent perfect so I can see you perform. I’m told it’s extraordinary.”

I could feel the blush warming my bruised face. “I would love nothing more than to have you at my next show, whenever that may be.”

“Great. See you around, Kona.”

I watched her leave, choosing to stay outside a little longer. It was coming on lunchtime, and while I wished I could help them, my ribs were protesting the minimal activity I’d already done today.

My head back and the sun on my face, I relaxed and let my mind repeat everything Aziza said. I lingered on her telling me that the brothers had seen horrific things. Perhaps I wasn’t the only one running from monsters.